LBM in January, just relapsed, adivce please

littlefish92

Hi everyone.

In January I realised I have to get my debt into control and sort it out for my own peace of mind. At LBM I was in 4050 pounds of debt. In Feburary I was given 2k I was owed from a previous employment. I spent 1k paying off debts and put 1k in savings. I started chipping away in fairly large chunks each month about 300 per month.

Last month my boyfriend and I split up and feeling sorry for myself I spent all of my savings on jewelery, clothes and other presents. Then my 7 year old computer popped its cloggs so I put another 350 on very credit for a new one. I feel absolutely terrible. I don't have any saftey net of savings and now when I look at any of the stuff I bought I don't even enjoy it because I just think about how stupid I was. How do you go from frittering money away like it's nothing (the reason I'm in debt in the first place) to being incredibly frugal all the time? If I pay a big chunk of my debt off I think I 'wow, I've done so well, I deserve a treat' it's like a vicious circle!

I now have:
Santander CC - 1950 remaining
Very - 600 remaning

Both are interest free at the moment. the CC is until Nov and the Very credit has various dates due to multiple purchases but I should have more than enough time to pay them off before interest accrues.

Now all that sounds relatively minor, but then I have a bigger problem. When I was 18 my mother gave me 10k to put into savings for a deposit for a house. Needless to say I spent it all. I first stupidly bought a brand new car outright for 8.5k and sold it the next year at 5.5k . Then I moved abroad was unemployed for several months, had to pay for a new flat deposit rent etc with no income, so all the money is gone. I need to save up at least 11k (to pretend it's being accuring interest). I think I can do this in just oer 3 years (after I clear my actual debts). My mum does not know I have spent it and would kill me if she found out.

However it all gets me down as I just feel like I am going to be living on scraps of bread for years never going out or enjoying my life. I am only 22 and I feel like this is going to ruin my 20's. Sometimes I just think 'eff it you only live once have fun' how do I stay strong?

Thanks for reading x

rockm87

Hi and welcome! you're in the right place for advice and brutally good assistance!

You know what, we've all done it....that is why most of us are here.

focus on one thing at a time, dont beat yourself up about what youve done, make strides to get back on the waggon and get rid of your debt.

If you put together a statement of affairs, you can work out a budget to get rid of your debts.

Then you can focus on building an emergency fund and putting together a savings pot to be proud of!

but first things first look at what youre spending, and get to grips with every penny!

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Jon_B_2

Don't put any money in savings, keep paying down the debt.

koselur

Hiya

First of all - well done - you've reduced your debt by £1500 - you should be really proud of that and that marks a huge change in your behaviour.

Stressful life events like breaking up with a partner can send anyone down the wrong road but you have recognised your behaviour which is great.

Is there no option for you to come clean to your mum about the money she gave you? That way you can save the £11k up anyway but without the worry and guilt of her finding out (cause she'll already know!). She may be more supportive than you expect and it will be a huge weight off your shoulders. Talking about my debt was really scary for me but I am slowly starting to come clean to people and I feel so much better. You are dealing with your debts and that's something to be proud of.

Actually your mum may also already have an idea that you spent the money since not many 18 year olds can afford to buy a car outright....

Could you sell some of the stuff you bought? If it's making you feel bad anyway you won't be enjoying it!

This is just a blip - everyone has set backs the important thing is not to let it spiral out of control again - I don't think you would have posted here if you didn't know that though

You say you are living on scraps of bread - I hope this is an exaggeration but even so you need to be realistic with you budget and what you can live on - you need to make sure you have enough for essentials and perhaps even a small treat every now and then. Your debt isn't that big you will be able to pay it off really quickly if you put your mind to it and then start saving and enjoying your money - it won't be like this forever.

If you post your SOA you will get loads of advice on where to save money.

Good luck!