Ex won't compromise on property

bigjluk

October last year my ex(whom i have a 3 year old boy with) phoned me to say she had changed the locks on our house,and that i wasn't allowed back in our house(which is a joint mortgage).the police were called and asked me to go away for a couple of days,and then come back,which i did.when i returned she still was not letting me in,and the police were called again(as i was getting annoyed,but no violence).so i went and stayed with a friend for a few days more,but 2 days later there was a non molestation,and occupation order served on me(with complete fabrication in it),with a court date for a hearing on the matter.
Well 6 months have just passed ,and i am still not allowed in the house,i am living with my neice(for the last 5 months),but i have to leave now,as its not fair on her and her family.the problem is i cannot afford to rent myself,whilst contributing to our house,and my ex just thinks i'm making everything up to get back in,yet come 24/4/15 i will be homeless.below i will list the main points of the situation,i was wondering if anyone had some experience of this situation,or advice.

The court upheld the orders for a year,as i dropped challenging them(as i had agreed with my ex to try again,although when the court extended the order,she went back on her word)

over the 6 months i have paid the mortgage 3 times(50%).which has meant 3 missed payments

she cannot afford the mortgage without me paying the mortgage

i can just about afford it on my own

neither of us can afford to buy each other out

i cannot afford to rent myself,whilst paying the mortgage(which means sleeping in my car,and joining a gym where i can shower everyday)

basically i am tramp,if i have to pay the mortgage,and i am not willing to do this)

i could pay her csa(my circumstances say i should pay £50 per week,whilst mortgage is £200 per week,so this still would not be enough to keep the house mortgage being paid)

the mortgage is interest only,and behind by 2k

the house was bought with 90% cash by myself,since we have remortgaged twice,(mortgage now 150 k),this was down to my mistakes

house has a value of 170k

if sold we would probably end up with 10k each

neither of us wants to sell

if i moved back in we could reduce the arrears( as i'm going to college to be more qualified,hence more money),money would not be going down the drain on rent

bottom line is ,i want to move back in,or take it on myself,and i cannot afford solicitors fees to take her to court

please help

Valli

Take her to court for what?

it appears she is not going to let you back into the property so you are going to have to come up with another plan. But I think that you ending up with 10K each is an optimistic estimate.

Solicitors do a free half hour initial interview.

I also suggest you talk to your lender about the payments which have been missed.

TBagpuss

Based on what you say, it is not practical for you both to stay in the house, even if the orders were discharged, so the options would appear to be either for the house to be sold, and the proceeds split, or for her to move out and you to return to the house.

The second option is unlikely to work, as it is hard to see why she would be willing to wait for her share of the equity. In addition, if she can't afford the mortgage, would she be able to afford to rent? Her interest in the house would, if she were not living there, be treated as capital which would limit any benefits (including housing benefit) she would be entitled to.

If the house is sold then the proceeds can be divided, and each of you will have a small lump sum to use as a deposit either to buy or rent. AS you are not married then if she will not cooperate then you may need to apply for an order for sale via the courts. As this is not a family court application if you are successful you may be able to claim your costs back from her, but gt proper advice to ensure that you follow all of the procedures correctly.

If what you really want is to resume the relationship and be able to move back in as a couple, then the first step might be to see whether she would be willing to attend Relate, or other relationship counselling. Check with your solicitor as to whether you can approach her about that without breaching the injunction order. Try to be honest with yourself - are the allegations she made 100% untrue, or are they exaggerated but based in fact? Remember that one person may fl threatened even if the other has not actual intention to intimidate them, for instance. It can be illuminating to put yourself in the other person's shoes to try to understand why they may have said/done what they have. (You accept that you were angry - is it possible that despite the lack of violence your ex did feel afraid that you might become violent? It's something you might need to think about if you want to try to reconcile and rebuild the relationship.

I would suggest that you see a solicitor so that you can discuss all of your options.

getmore4less

What happened to the money?

bigjluk

To take her back to court to contest the orders,yeah 10k may be optimistic,other points i missed are

we have never been married

our child was registered with her surname,without me knowing

i brought up her 2 other kids from the age of 6(now 18,and 20)and have left home

she only lets me she our child 3-4 hours per week

DUTR

bigjluk wrote: »

snip


the house was bought with 90% cash by myself,since we have remortgaged twice,(mortgage now 150 k),this was down to my mistakes

house has a value of 170k

if sold we would probably end up with 10k each

neither of us wants to sell

if i moved back in we could reduce the arrears( as i'm going to college to be more qualified,hence more money),money would not be going down the drain on rent


bottom line is ,i want to move back in,or take it on myself,and i cannot afford solicitors fees to take her to court

please help

Who's name is the property in ? both?
The 20k equity will get largely swallowed up with estate agent and solicitor fees. You both may not want to sell, however the lender gets the last call, and if the borrowers are not keeping up with the repayments, they may have no option but to sieze the property (kids or not) .

BitterAndTwisted

Use what you would be paying the mortgage with to fund your rent elsewhere. Even if you continue to pay "your share" of the mortgage it looks like the property will eventually be repossessed.

How much are you paying your ex in child support?

Non molestation and occupation orders are not easy to acquire even if you are a Grade-A liar with fabricated evidence, so there is obviously more to this than you have disclosed.

You appear to have frittered away a 90% deposit. Which blithering idiot decided on an interest-only mortgage?

And now you think that going to college is a good idea while you still have a child to support and no home to live in. Oh dear.

bigjluk

i lost 75% of the money over various different ventures,yet my deposit on the house is equal to what is remortgaged(my 75% liabilities),so all in all we are about even,with whats been paid and owed

bigjluk

the going to college was arranged before all these orders were issued.

everything i have written here is 100% truth(why waste my time on advice which would be worthless in court)

i cannot afford the mortgage,and to pay rent

and finally ,yes i was a idiot losing that much money

marisco_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

And now you think that going to college is a good idea while you still have a child to support and no home to live in. Oh dear.

The OP could be working all the hours god sends and be going to college in the evenings to improve his opportunities of earning a good wage so he can get back on his feet. I could understand the above remark if he was going down the pub but he is trying to turn things around!

FBaby

Is your ex working at all or not? If she is not and therefore most likely getting Income Support, then she could apply to have 1/2 of the mortgage paid for. That would be 50% of what was initially borrowed and interest only (at the gov fixed rate which I think is 3% something). I am not sure whether she could actually claim all of it if you paid nothing (but in this instance, she could have something drawn by a solicitor to say that youl wouldn't be entitled to any equity raised after you stopped paying).

If she is not working or on a low income, considering the age of your child, it is highly likely that a judge would refuse the sale of the house, so that leaves the above situation, that is if she can still afford to pay for the difference as due to the remortgage, what she will get in benefits towards the mortgage will not pay it in full, even interest-only.

It sounds to me like you need to do a lot of reading about what she can get in benefits and how courts operate in these matters.