Any do's and don'ts for a Muslim wedding?

Filey

JReacher1 wrote: »

Agreed.

If we started to respect other cultures what would the outcome be?

It could literally be anarchy!

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Not too sure what you mean here. Are you saying we shouldn't be respecting other cultures? Just wondering.

tea_lover

It sounds great - enjoy! Looking forward to an update with details of the bright clothes, lovely food, etc.... please

margaretclare

purply wrote: »

As a Muslim, and one who goes to countless 'Muslim' weddings a year-I'll try and give some insight (my experience is mainly of Asian, Somali and Arab weddings).

Every wedding I've been to has been in a venue (some conduct the ceremony in a mosque but then move to the venue for the actual wedding party).

Firstly, is the wedding Asian, Arab, Turkish, African etc?
An Asian wedding is completely different to an Arab one.
In an Arab wedding, they tend to be segregated (so that the women guests who wear modest clothing and scarves can party (there will be a lot of dancing and some flesh on show (it literally is let your hair down and party hard).
At the end of the wedding, the groom and bride come together for pics, cutting cake etc (bearing in mind they will have had the actual ceremony before the wedding party day-sometimes even months before hand so will be, in theory, already married).

In an Asian wedding (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi), the ceremony is often done on the same day as the wedding party. Sometimes there is segregation, sometimes there isn't. Many aren't-it really depends on what the bride and groom have decided.

The mehndi is a pre-wedding party often compared to a hen night and again lots of dressing up and partying. This is also when the bride to be has her hands, arms and feet (or where ever she likes) 'henna'ed'. Colours to wear at a mehndi are often red, green orange-these are seen as 'mendhi' colours. But you don't have to.


You can never be under dressed at an Asian wedding! Bling all the way! Those who say dress modest-it depends on what kind of wedding party it will be. If it's formal, non-segregated, then a dress is fine. I see lots of people wear lovely maxi dresses if they don't want to wear traditional (esp if there's both men and women present and they do not want to show legs and arms). Def don't show too much cleavage. But if its a segregated party so that the women can party, then less is more!
Definitely make-up. I go to a MUA when I go to a wedding and I know that is a growing trend in Asian weddings. People really want to look their best.
This whole wearing a scarf on your head-I don't get that-lots of Muslims don't wear a scarf so you shouldn't be expected to-even if you went to to the mosque.

'No boxed gifts' does indeed indicate cash is preferred. I always give cash at weddings or vouchers unless there is a wedding list.

Don't worry about etiquette-it's just like any wedding tbh. Although if it is an Asian wedding, expect there to be at least 500 people. Don't let it faze you. The mehndi might be a big do too.

HTH

Thank you very much for the explanation.

PurplePow

I've been to a Muslim wedding - I think it was 'her' day? (I remember being told they have a day to celebrate each?) anyway all the women/children went to one side of the room and the men to the other, but the groom (my husbands work friend) had asked for us to have a 'reserved' table together (which was right at the front so we really stood out haha!) but we were all fine to sit with our partners.

The bride/groom arrive really late (this is apparently tradition?) and then they sat at a 'top table' and bowls of food were brought out. I seem to remember us being surprised at not cutlery (everyone used the naan breads to eat with!) but they gave us some. They just seemed to continously bring over more breads etc for us.

Then the bride/groom got up on a stage with fancy seats and everyone had to take turns going up and giving money to the bride to put in a purse. We'd took normal gifts and just presented those. We had to pose for photos presenting the gifts. Not long after it was all over!

Was a very interesting experience. I think my husband's friend (the groom) said they celebrate over a few days.

Edited to add: My husband's friend suggested in advance for the women to maybe just wear a long maxi dress and a cardigan to cover shoulders which we did. Didn't have to have a head scarf or anything.

VfM4meplse

OP, you must watch this for pure entertainment: My Big Fat Asian Wedding.

purply wrote: »

'No boxed gifts' does indeed indicate cash is preferred.

This is also a bit if a code for "no crap presents" a hangover from the days when guests would palm off all kinds of unwanted and tasteless gifts - chintzy serving trays, etc. :eek:

My favourite quote from a wedding invite: "No boxed gifts, your blessings are enough".

duchy

The blessings of guests bank accounts ?

HanTon

Present money. You won't be wrong. Money are essential for just married.

purply

If it's a Bangladeshi wedding-it will most likely be quite formal. The actual ceremony will probably be done behind closed doors and not publicly so you won't see that. An Islamic ceremony is just really 'Do you take this man/woman as your spouse?' kinda thing but there may be cultural traditions evident e.g in Bangladeshi weddings I've been to, the groom is not allowed into the venue unless he gives money to the brides sisters and that is only if the sisters accept the amount-cue much bartering! It's all a bit of fun!
Clarify table arrangements-you should have a reserved table really.

Kay_17

I hope you had fun at the wedding I did come across a website, which I thought might be useful for others in a similar situation.

Shaadischool - it explains Asian weddings quite well and also has a lot of useful/interesting blogs.

There is one particular blog on wedding gifts. It's within the "Custom" section and is called "No Boxed Gifts".

Hope that's useful.

HurdyGurdy

It was an amazing experience and I am so pleased I (and other work colleagues) were invited. It was the also the strangest wedding I have ever been to as we barely saw the bride and groom as it was a segregated wedding. The bride wanted her brothers to be part of her day, and so she and her family were in a separate room, and obviously the groom was in the men's area. They came together briefly for the very end part of the wedding, and then they were off.

And they are now merrily posting on Facebook, some lovely photographs and videos of their honeymoon in Dubai, where they are at the moment.