Any do's and don'ts for a Muslim wedding?

margaretclare

duchy wrote: »

The no boxed gifts isn't a Muslim thing - It's the British wedding speak for "We'd like cash as a gift"

I remember a Greek Cypriot wedding years ago. The tradition there was to pin banknotes on to the bride and groom's clothing. There's a joke 'The lady about to attach a note to the groom using a hammer and nail is his ex-fiancee'.

duchy

JReacher1 wrote: »

Agreed.

If we started to respect other cultures what would the outcome be?

It could literally be anarchy!

Amazing how there isn't considering how many mixed culturally and religiously marriages there are in the UK every year- and has been for generations- I'm the product of one myself. Most people are respectful of the beliefs of others -it's only a very tiny minority of morons who aren't.

HurdyGurdy

Thank you all again - particularly Londoner_1 for that really interesting post.

My friend has told me about her wedding outfit and it sounds absolutely amazing . She is going to be an amazing, vibrant coloured spectacle!

Dress code for the Mehndi night is "vibrant and colourful". I will embrace this instruction fully

Now - do you think it is actually possible for me to lose about 5 stone in weight by 25th May

Rambosmum

I went to a muslim wedding recently - it was lovely but very different. The bride was on a stage on a sofa, and stayed there all day. The groom was in another room with the men, he was also on a stage.

Obviously there was no alcohol and all food was halal and spicy, but really tasty. There were 2 sittings for food due to the number of people.

It is a great opportunity to wear something really bright, just make sure to cover your shoulders, knees and cleavage - I wore a floor length multicoloured silk skirt I'd bought in Thailand and never worn as it was too bright, with gold flip flops and blue top - in the house I thought I looked far too bright but once I was in there I looked positively drab becuase of all the ladies in the beautiful salwar kameezes!

FatVonD

As the others have said, cash (or gold) instead of a gift. I've not been to a Moslem wedding but at a Moslem circumcision party I attended we had to queue to hand our envelope to a compere-type chap who announced over a PA what everyone had given :eek:

We were quite skint at the time so my then MIL have us a couple of hundred pounds to give to the other brother (I presume she then took it back afterwards) because appearances are very important.

Dress wise, as everyone else has said, nothing skimpy but also nothing too clingy either and no tight trousers.

margaretclare

Rambosmum wrote: »

I went to a muslim wedding recently - it was lovely but very different. The bride was on a stage on a sofa, and stayed there all day. The groom was in another room with the men, he was also on a stage.

How did they marry each other, if they were both separate? Don't they make vows/promises, anything like that?

pickledonionspaceraider

margaretclare wrote: »

How did they marry each other, if they were both separate? Don't they make vows/promises, anything like that?

When I attended my friends last year - the wedding was in three stages - she first had a henna party (mendhi night) - then a few days later she had the legal wedding at the registry office with only a small amount of people there. Then the following day she had the mosque wedding. All very interesting and enjoyable

purply

As a Muslim, and one who goes to countless 'Muslim' weddings a year-I'll try and give some insight (my experience is mainly of Asian, Somali and Arab weddings).

Every wedding I've been to has been in a venue (some conduct the ceremony in a mosque but then move to the venue for the actual wedding party).

Firstly, is the wedding Asian, Arab, Turkish, African etc?
An Asian wedding is completely different to an Arab one.
In an Arab wedding, they tend to be segregated (so that the women guests who wear modest clothing and scarves can party (there will be a lot of dancing and some flesh on show (it literally is let your hair down and party hard).
At the end of the wedding, the groom and bride come together for pics, cutting cake etc (bearing in mind they will have had the actual ceremony before the wedding party day-sometimes even months before hand so will be, in theory, already married).

In an Asian wedding (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi), the ceremony is often done on the same day as the wedding party. Sometimes there is segregation, sometimes there isn't. Many aren't-it really depends on what the bride and groom have decided.

The mehndi is a pre-wedding party often compared to a hen night and again lots of dressing up and partying. This is also when the bride to be has her hands, arms and feet (or where ever she likes) 'henna'ed'. Colours to wear at a mehndi are often red, green orange-these are seen as 'mendhi' colours. But you don't have to.


You can never be under dressed at an Asian wedding! Bling all the way! Those who say dress modest-it depends on what kind of wedding party it will be. If it's formal, non-segregated, then a dress is fine. I see lots of people wear lovely maxi dresses if they don't want to wear traditional (esp if there's both men and women present and they do not want to show legs and arms). Def don't show too much cleavage. But if its a segregated party so that the women can party, then less is more!
Definitely make-up. I go to a MUA when I go to a wedding and I know that is a growing trend in Asian weddings. People really want to look their best.
This whole wearing a scarf on your head-I don't get that-lots of Muslims don't wear a scarf so you shouldn't be expected to-even if you went to to the mosque.

'No boxed gifts' does indeed indicate cash is preferred. I always give cash at weddings or vouchers unless there is a wedding list.

Don't worry about etiquette-it's just like any wedding tbh. Although if it is an Asian wedding, expect there to be at least 500 people. Don't let it faze you. The mehndi might be a big do too.

HTH

HurdyGurdy

And *again*, thank you . This is all so interesting and I am looking forward to it more and more each time I read the thread

purply - thank you so much for taking time to write that long post.

My friend's family are from Bangladesh, and it is a segregated affair. It sounds like I have the best excuse ever to go shopping for a lovely bright outfit - totally outside my clothing comfort zone, but I will grab the opportunity while it's available

duchy

I hope you come back and let us know how it all went afterwards