Another Foolish Newbie Here!

supermum1988

Go to your "User CP" and the edit signature. Play around for a bit. Best of luck with everything. Sounds like your head is in the right place.

Pollygarter

Thanks Supermum. Am feeling OK about this yes, it has taken a few years of stumbling about post separation but now I can start to see a way ahead. Long way to go though.

supermum1988

We all have a long way to go but with determination we can all do it.

I started4 weeks ago and this forum has been a god send. Everyone is so helpful. Subscribing.
Best wishes.

japmis

I can't recommend the "You Need A Budget" (YNAB) software highly enough. It takes a few attempts to get your head around it (well it did for me anyway!) but they have loads of free courses and tutorials. :beer:

Pollygarter

A good day yesterday. It was payday. I nudged into the black and given the flip of credit card debt I did at the nudging of your good selves did not pay interest for a day. The fridge was completely empty bar jars and cabbage and onions. So no waste. Having gone food shopping, I have happy children and will see how I go this month on the budget I've set and the additional money from eBay sales to get into the black for longer next month. By my reckoning it will take me two months to stay there all month. Feeling resolved and on my way.

miketaff1408

Pollygarter wrote: »

I get some help from him for child costs but it's not what I used to live on. !

Hi Polly, is the help that you receive from your husband what HE deems to be a reasonable amount to pay towards the children, or an amount set by the CSA? If he is setting the amount, it might be worth getting the CSA to work out what he should be paying

Teacher2

When I was young I watched my parents go through a messy and prolongued two-stage divorce . I observed how my father's way of operating the family finances impoverished my mother. He held all the assets and insisited she worked (despite having two children and it being the norm for women to stay at home then) and used her earnings to pay outgoings and bills. When she left my father had the house, furniture and car. My mother had two children to support and no home or money. I swore to myself I'd never let this happen to me and when I married I kept working full time through having two children but insisted on owning half of everything and building up my own pension.

It sounds as if your ex has done a version of what my father did, exploited your time and good will to further his own career and left you with the bills, liabilities and the children to care for. Your reaction:- to take stock of your financial position and determine to clear your debts and live within your means, sounds very sensible.

Good luck with your efforts. This and other money-saving threads provide a treasure trove of advice and encouragement in pursuing a solvent and independent life.

To begin with, the advice about obtaining another 0% credit card on which to stash a debt costing £45 a month is excellent. The savvy thing now is to continue to live without the £45 a month that you have adjusted to paying but to use it to save to pay off the capital sum or, if you can, to pay down the capital bit by bit on the card. This is the essence of the prudent lifestyle. It's not about having more money but about using it wisely and resorting to savvy strategems. Once debt free, you can begin to put cash by for emergencies and then you'll feel more on top of life.

Having said that, the privations my mother, sister and I had to endure when I was growing up have left me with a constant fear of penury, even though on paper I am not anywhere near it. I have anxiety attacks even thinking about spending large sums of money. Your reference to shoes reminded me that I couldn't have bought an expensive pair of shoes even if I could have afforded it as the purchased would have been too fearful!

Pollygarter

Well I am about to make a massive life change which should get me debt free and reduce my expenses ongoing to help me think about actually saving money/proper pension provision. I am downsizing my home. Looks like a go, both sides have said yes so now I will do all I can to make this happen. It will happen. Lovely new home. Much smaller, enough space though. And a decent garden. And a free view. Log burner too. No space for loads of shoes so that shoe buying habit can't start again!

Positive vibes, prayers and well wishing all gratefully accepted. Funny isn't it how we can readjust our thinking in time. A few years ago I was thinking about my next move up the ladder into something rather plush. Now this move seems the best and most appealing welcoming and affordable home I could ever imagine. Peace and financial stability may be in reach...oh please!

Red-Squirrel_2

Good luck! You sound really positive, I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

PollyPrissypants

Just wanted to say hello and good luck from another newbie x