Husband kicked me out but it's him having affair, help please

debbellwood

4 weeks ago me and my husband decided to split up as I thought he was having an affair. He said he wasn't leaving the house and I had to go. I've been staying a couple of nights a week on my daughters couch and the rest of the week I've been sleeping in my car. I'm scared to stay longer at my daughters as she is a single parent on benefits and I don't want her to lose money. My husband says he's trying to find somewhere else to rent but it's been 4 weeks now and still no sign of him moving out. I can't get a job at the moment as how can I work without having somewhere to live. I've got some disabilities (arthritis and fibromyalgia) so I find it difficult with mobility. He works full time and I found out today for definite he's having an affair. Does anyone know what I can do please? Many thanks. Deb.

BrassicWoman

is the house owned or rented and whose name is on the deeds/mortgage/tenenacy agreement?

Have you spoken to Womens Aid? Not all abuse is physical... see sticky at the top of the board.

BigAunty

The Shelter website has a relationship breakdown section that gives details of rights and options according to the type of accommodation. It also has a 'homeless' section where it will tell you how a council must process any homeless application you may make and whether or not they may have any duty of care towards you. The legal definition of homelessness is generally about having no security of tenure past the next 28 days - you don't have to be a rough sleeper to qualify for assistance with housing, or at the very least, advice about housing (not everyone is entitled to be housed by the council but they can at the very least, let you know some options you could follow up).

However, if you want the forum members to help, you will need to state whether you are a homeowner or tenant (social or private) and if you are a joint owner or tenant, or if the contract/mortgage is in his sole name. You'd also need to state whether you are in England,NI, Scotland or Wales as there are different rules about homelessness.

Go and see a solicitor for advice about divorce and a financial settlement.

debbellwood

Thank you so much for your speedy replies. The house is rented and we are both on the tenancy. I'll have a look at the websites you've suggested. Thank you again for your help.

haras_nosirrah

Can you get in while he is at work and change the locks

Give him a taste of his own medicine

PasturesNew

The simple answer is for you to move back in. It's your house as much as his. It'll also really muck up his plans for bringing women back there.

BigAunty

Is it a periodic (rolling) tenancy or a fixed term? Do you receive any housing benefit for the rent?

Being a joint tenant means that you have an entitlement to reside in the property and can take up residence whenever you like. The only way this can be changed is if the court grants either tenant an occupation order which gives them sole occupation of the property. This is the kind of order that victims of domestic abuse are granted so they can live in peace from their abuser but there are other scenarios where it is employed.

A joint tenancy also means that there is a joint and several liability when it comes to rent arrears, meaning the landlord is entitled to pursue either or both tenants for the arrears. It matters not a jot that you don't occupy the property so be aware of your legal obligations.

A joint tenancy can be ended by either tenant serving legitimate notice on the landlord and it's up to the other tenant to negotiate a new tenancy. So you may be able to end the tenancy and you have the potential (but so does he) to get a new tenancy in the sole name. Can you afford the rent on your own? Can he afford the rent on his own?

Note that a tenancy is ended not just by serving legitimate notice but also by vacating the property. I think there are potential issues if one joint tenant serves notice and the other refuses to leave, perhaps liability to pay rent continues if vacant possession isn't gained but the housing forum members might be able to clarify this.

Shelter has an emergency helpline and some local drop-in centres. Call them asap.

Were you in an abusive relationship (and this doesn't mean just being physically assaulted, it's about a whole range or pattern of negative or controlling behaviour). See the Shelter and Womens Aid websites to understand if this is the case. I'm not assuming anything from your limited posts, just that there are different routes, options and support services in that kind of scenario.

Note that under the homelessness laws, a person who is considered vulnerable to homelessness through illness or disability can be considered a priority for assistance but it's looked at on a case by case basis. I strongly recommend that you book an appointment with your local council homelessness team but that you also understand your rights from the Shelter website so you don't get fobbed off by the council who are notorious for not providing the services they are legally obliged to.

BigAunty

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

Can you get in while he is at work and change the locks

Give him a taste of his own medicine

Emotionally satisfying but ultimately a waste of time - he, like she, is entitled to occupy the property. If the local council or police understand proper tenants rights (some are weak) they will merely enforce his re-entry to the property.

And if the hubby doesn't let her back when she wants to get in, they should also facilitate this.

However, sometimes the police think all housing issues are civil matters because housing law is complex and won't lift a finger.

j.e.j.

Are you renting from the council or is it a private rental?

I was going to suggest you put your name on the council housing list, especially given that you are pretty much homeless and you have health issues.

pinkshoes

If you have two bedrooms, then just move back in!

If its just one bedroom, then i suggest he sleeps on the sofa.

System

pinkshoes wrote: »

IIf its just one bedroom, then i suggest he sleeps on the sofa.

Or she does. Being female doesn't increase rights real or perceived as these forums seem to think at times