Ex stopped all contact the claims full csa after 5 years??

gazzad_2

hi all will try to keep it breif, basicly ive had my daughter week on week off since i got asked to leave the family home because girlfreind cheated on me (we wasnt married) although i have a parental responsibility agreement to say i have equal rights as a married father.

it was always ropey but worked for 5 years with arguments etc but now this has completely broke down and i am currently looking into a mediation service recommended by my solicitor to see what works for everyone.
i never payed csa because i had my daughter 45% of the time, i say 45% because i was in full time work i couldnt pick her up from school at 3.30pm, although i dropped her off in the morning on my week. on top of that i bought and payed for all her clothes etc. this was the deal.

anyway my ex has now decided because i cant pick her up from school in my week, that she is stopping all contact totally and claiming full csa. the csa dont seem to care that i have had her before all this constantly, and just want the money. im completely heartbroken i cant see my daughter and on top of that if i have to pay full csa i wont be able to continue living where i am where my daughter has her own bedroom with all her things. not to mention the affect it will have on my daughter being told she cant see her dad at the age of 12!!. will the csa take this into account?? i basicly told the woman from csa what had happened and she basicly just took it i never have her so will calculate the full amount due.

im at a total loss what to do as whatever you say on the phone is taken in gospel, she didnt seem to understand that this had only just happened. my ex used the csa last time to intervene when there was a disagreement and they calculated i should pay £7 a week, but my ex then cancelled the claim for some reason??

cheers

GAZ

gazzad_2

i thought id best mention although i couldnt pick her up at 3.30 i picked her up at 5.15 when i finished work!

Hapless_2

I think this may be a case for the courts I'm afraid. You still have parental rights as this can only be removed by court order.

The CSA has no influence on access, that is for solicitors and courts.

gazzad_2

yeah the mediation offer to her is the 1st step advized by my solicitor. so basicly the CSA will put the past 5 years to bed and treat me like a father who dosent give a T***. great!

kelloggs36

no, the CSA don't treat you like you don't give a toss, they treat the claim as a new application like all of them. They ask how many nights per week your daughter stays over, if at present she does not, then they cannot allow a reduction for shared care. They are only looking for maintenance from the date of the application, so whilst you have been a great dad for the past 5 years, it is irrelevant for the future as far as maintenance payments are concerned. They are not looking to backdate anything, just the present. You will be asked to pay 15% of your net income. If you get your access situation sorted out, then for every night your daughter stays over you get 1/7 of this reduced. They can't link the two together by law I'm afraid.

gazzad_2

kelloggs36 wrote: »

no, the CSA don't treat you like you don't give a toss, they treat the claim as a new application like all of them. They ask how many nights per week your daughter stays over, if at present she does not, then they cannot allow a reduction for shared care. They are only looking for maintenance from the date of the application, so whilst you have been a great dad for the past 5 years, it is irrelevant for the future as far as maintenance payments are concerned. They are not looking to backdate anything, just the present. You will be asked to pay 15% of your net income. If you get your access situation sorted out, then for every night your daughter stays over you get 1/7 of this reduced. They can't link the two together by law I'm afraid.

thanks for that, well i certainly wont be able to afford living in the house i do that provides my daughter with comfort and a place she can call home, what with all the debts incurred whilst with her mother on top, i will have to downgrade to a bedsit so my daughter loses out in the end, i dont call that putting the child 1st really. when i heard the CSA was re-launched i though great they might get it right this time, obviously not. :mad: women are still allowed to spite the fathers and get away with it. the csa need to look at the social issues and whats best for the child before they hammer the father for the same money as a father who dosnt give a toss about his kids

kelloggs36

What debts do you have linked to your ex?

repsolblade

kelloggs36 wrote: »

no, the CSA don't treat you like you don't give a toss, they treat the claim as a new application like all of them. They ask how many nights per week your daughter stays over, if at present she does not, then they cannot allow a reduction for shared care. They are only looking for maintenance from the date of the application, so whilst you have been a great dad for the past 5 years, it is irrelevant for the future as far as maintenance payments are concerned. They are not looking to backdate anything, just the present. You will be asked to pay 15% of your net income. If you get your access situation sorted out, then for every night your daughter stays over you get 1/7 of this reduced. They can't link the two together by law I'm afraid.

I'm sorry to hear this.
Basically, She has stopped you seeing your daughter for no good reason(this been working for 5 years).
I'm afraid to say this but you've been shafted by her and the CSA.
She knows that If you don't see your daughter, then you will be liable to pay her the full amount due from your wages, and Despite what anyone says, the CSA have NO interest in you status, ie had shared custody for last 5 years, and the devastating affects taking the money from you will have on You and your daughter. Effectively ruining a stable and decent relationship.
This is another example of WHY the CSA should be Shelved, and this to go through the courts. The money that has been wasted by the useless CSA since it was introduced(and the money that goes missing) could have funded a viable and practical court solution.
I have no advice other than PM

gazzad_2

repsolblade wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear this.
Basically, She has stopped you seeing your daughter for no good reason(this been working for 5 years).
I'm afraid to say this but you've been shafted by her and the CSA.
She knows that If you don't see your daughter, then you will be liable to pay her the full amount due from your wages, and Despite what anyone says, the CSA have NO interest in you status, ie had shared custody for last 5 years, and the devastating affects taking the money from you will have on You and your daughter. Effectively ruining a stable and decent relationship.
This is another example of WHY the CSA should be Shelved, and this to go through the courts. The money that has been wasted by the useless CSA since it was introduced(and the money that goes missing) could have funded a viable and practical court solution.
I have no advice other than PM

thanks for PM mate, interesting that

kellogs, i have a £10,000 debt that i pay of still that was amounted whilst i was living with her, she has 3 kids in total (2 from a previous father who never paid a penny) and i raised them two boys aswell since they were 3-4. there now grown up and have been kicked out too as they are of no financial use to her. that money was loans that i borrowed for the good of the family at the time christmases over 9 years, cars to ferry us all around etc. i only recently finished paying for a sofa that her and her new husband sit on. nice guy aint i!!!

kelloggs36

you may be able to get a discount due to this loan - it depends on how the things were paid for initially, and whether or not she or the children still have the benefit of them - so the sofa sounds like a qualifying object, provided you didn't pay with credit cards. Cars - does she still have the car? If so, then this would also qualify. You need to apply for a variation on the grounds of debts of the previous relationship.