August wedding caterer wants date moved!

rose28454

I am helping my daughter organise her August wedding. Her and her fiance bought a house together last year and in Jan this year decided to get married. She suffers from her nerves and was never going to take year to organise it as it would stress her out. So August 28th ( Friday before Bank Holiday) was chosen.
Having wedding in our local town hall and reception in marquee at my sisters. She is also doing catering as that is her business.
Invites are just about to go out, wedding dress ordered and deposit paid, marquee booked and deposit paid, Town Hall booked and deposit paid.
Now I also work for my sis on occasions when she has big jobs ( I am self employed as a bookkeeper) and we always do one in June for 10 days in London and I thought great that will bring in money to help with costs.
However yesterday I happened to find out that the job is now the 10 days leading up to wedding including wedding day. My sister does not know this and at this stage I would rather she did not. Because she would probably expect my daughter to change the date to suit her. However I know that in previous years when she had 2 jobs at same time she put someone else in charge of that one and went off to do the other.
We have had a very checkered family history and my daughter did not have a great childhood and i dont want her to be let down again.

Also sister is doing wedding at cost( as she did for my 2 brothers) and if she has to come home 2 or 3 days early she will have to pay someone to take over.

Now do i tell my sister what I have discovered or leave it and when it comes out just say that I will pay her costs for coming home early to work on the wedding??

I know its and odd question but for years i have put my Mum, and sisters before my daughter and I realise it has been to the detriment of my daughter and I want her to have a wonderful wedding.

Should I tell her what Ive found out or just let things go along till she finds out herself. Also there is the possibility that she wont even be doing the job they might change caterers.

duchy

I think you need to talk to your sister ASAP
Maybe find out (discreetly) if you changed the date what the implications would be (eg venue , marquee) first so you and your sister can have a proper discussion about what the cost implications would be as that might help her decide the best way to handle her promise.

Once there is a proposal from your sister on how to handle the clash then she can talk to your daughter about it (for all you know she may say her neice's wedding comes first and she's happy to pay someone else to do the elsewhere function) . Don't assume - get together with your sister and tell her about the potential problem - she may actually already know and is trying to find a way to discuss it with you and already have a solution.

If the worst happens and she can't do it - you'll have more time to sort out an alternative but you need to get this raised with your sister to give her a chance to find a solution to enable her to keep her promise instead of just assuming the worst !