Gossip

the_camanachd_kid

I am a male manager of a team of females. Today one of my team told me that another member told them I was having an affair with a junior member of the team and also my female boss. Obviously I am not!
My initial reaction was"just ignore it. Load of nonsense" but now I am thinking that I need to have this individual in for a strong chat if not the start of a conduct investigation.
Thoughts??

TELLIT01

I suspect the person who told the person who told you will clam up if confronted, either that or they will deny they said anything. I don't believe it will achieve anything to take it forward at this point.
If the rumours mount you may need to reconsider.

Southend1

my response would be "thanks, I'm glad you mentioned it to me", and nothing more. I would then mention it to my line manager to forewarn her and also cover my own back in case the same rumour reached her. But as it is just office gossip I wouldn't consider doing anything else. It doesn't warrant any kind of disciplinary action. After all, it's second hand information and may not be correct. Have you considered that the person who reported it to you may be the rumour monger?

the_camanachd_kid

Southend1 wrote: »

my response would be "thanks, I'm glad you mentioned it to me", and nothing more. I would then mention it to my line manager to forewarn her and also cover my own back in case the same rumour reached her. But as it is just office gossip I wouldn't consider doing anything else. It doesn't warrant any kind of disciplinary action. After all, it's second hand information and may not be correct. Have you considered that the person who reported it to you may be the rumour monger?

I have already reported it to my line manager. She's pushing for action as I am apparently having an affair with her too!
The person who reported it is the other individual who I'm supposedly having an affair with. The comments were made to her best mate.
Knowing the people involved I tend to believe what I have been told so far.
I intend to speak with the person who the comments were made to tomorrow to try and established the facts.

Southend1

the_camanachd_kid wrote: »

I have already reported it to my line manager. She's pushing for action as I am apparently having an affair with her too!
The person who reported it is the other individual who I'm supposedly having an affair with. The comments were made to her best mate.
Knowing the people involved I tend to believe what I have been told so far.
I intend to speak with the person who the comments were made to tomorrow to try and established the facts.

You may be opening a can of worms. People do gossip, all the time. There's nothing you can do to stop them. If it is affecting anyone's performance or the reputation of the company then deal with it but going on what you've said it sounds like it's best ignored.

TBagpuss

I would avoid speaking to the gossips yourself. You have done the appropriate thing by reporting this to you line manager.
If there is further gossip then you can report again, and ask them to look into it as potential harassment of you.

Acc72

There are underlying problems in the team - by ignoring them and hoping they go away will not solve the issue(s).


The problem could be the original gossip and also the person who passed this information on to you (what was their motivation for telling you ?).


Either way, you need to do something - in fact, you are already doing something (i.e. nothing) so you might as well do something that is constructive.


As you have spoken with your line manager (also document this by sending them an e-mail "as we discussed earlier today ....") you now need to sit down with them and work out what you both will do (again, followed up by an e-mail).


This could be just getting the team together, stating that you have heard rumours of comments made (don't state any names) and state clearly that they are not correct and any future similar comments will not be tolerated (followed up with an e-mail to everybody in your team "dear all, as discussed today ....).

ERICS_MUM

An all-woman team is rarely problem free in my (considerable) experience.

I managed teams in an office for years and I always made it a priority to have a better balance of men and women. We achieved this by moving staff around on the basis of training and depth of job cover.

I know it's not always possible, we were lucky that we got it to work so well.

Acc72

ERICS_MUM wrote: »

An all-woman team is rarely problem free in my (considerable) experience.

This also reflects my own personal experience - which is why I suggested tackling the issue.


Again in my own personal experience, once these type of issues start they do not just go away - indeed, they continue to increase until one day something small gets blown up out of all proportion.

the_camanachd_kid

Just a quick update. The great and the good have decided that this will be a full conduct investigation carried out by an out of area manager under the bullying and harassment policy.
Thanks for the responses.

Acc72

the_camanachd_kid wrote: »

Just a quick update. The great and the good have decided that this will be a full conduct investigation carried out by an out of area manager under the bullying and harassment policy.
Thanks for the responses.

Interesting approach - is it you that they are saying is being bullied ?


On the face of it this sounds like a bit of a sledgehammer to crack a nut response, however at least you/the company are taking some action will hopefully prevent this kind of thing in the future.


It may be that the key gossip may be on a hit-list and this is seen as a good opportunity to get rid of them ?


Please keep us updated as to what happens.