Parents contributing to Wedding

atfcrick

Me & my fiance are getting married in July next year & have a very tight budget as we have planned to pay for everything ourselves.

Last week, my Mum told me that her & Dad would "help out", when I said they didn't need to, she said that they would as they had done the same for my brother.

She didn't however say how much they would contribute. It would be really helpful to know so that we can account for this in our budget & maybe we can look at some things that we thought weren't within reach.

Would it be awfully rude of me to be up front & ask her how much they will contribute? Or should we carry on planning as we are & look at any contribution as a bonus?

vroombroom

I think it depends how close you are with your parents? My mum has offered to pay our registry office fees (Around £200). I told her how much they were and she was fine with that.

No harm in asking x

Mojisola

atfcrick wrote: »

Last week, my Mum told me that her & Dad would "help out", when I said they didn't need to, she said that they would as they had done the same for my brother.

She didn't however say how much they would contribute.

I think it's really strange that she wouldn't give you the amount they are going to give you.

How are you going to plan without knowing?

Ask her.

atfcrick

Mojisola wrote: »

I think it's really strange that she wouldn't give you the amount they are going to give you.

How are you going to plan without knowing?

Ask her.

To be honest, I don't think she has really set a figure yet. I don't want to sound money grabbing or like I am pushing them for money right away. Think I will just explain that we have a really tight budget & that it would help us out to know what to expect.

I don't know what she gave towards my brothers wedding & don't want to in case she can't afford to do the same this time...

toffifee

Maybe she doesn't want to give you an amount of cash, but wants to pay for something specific e.g the photographer?

My parents-in-law said they wanted to help out, but their contribution turned out to be adding a fish course to the meal - something that we hadn't even considered. That was nice of them but didn't help our finances at all!

I would ask her what she's got in mind but maybe word it so that you're not necessarily expecting cash.

thriftylass

Definitely ask her what she had in mind. Not only does that give you an idea where you are budget wise but also if that means she wants to have a say in it. We paid everything ourselves but I heard of people where the parents contributed (substantially) but then also anted to have a say about how it's done and who is invited. So better clear things up early.

And I agree, word it carefully. Just say you'd really appreciate the help and if she had anything specific in mind to contribute to rather than ask her how much. She might tell you then anyway, let's say she'd like to give 500 towards the photos or whatever. At the same time be ready to tell her if it is sth you don't need. If you got a friend taking pictures for instance already.

gadgeteer_2

I agree that you really need to ask them. I'd either ask what sort of contribution they had in mind. They can either pay for something in particular or money.

My mum gave us a cheque for £1k which I was gobsmacked at since we weren't expecting it. It helped us get some of the luxury items we'd sacrificed like a choc fountain and photobooth.