The anxiety is already dissipating.

abby1234519

After speaking with people on here we decided to not go with a DMP and just juggle the debts around to get them paid off, could do that within a few years.

However it all came to a head when OH said how unhappy he was, he didn't like not having any money blah blah. He asked for £30 pocket money a month which I couldn't see where we'd get it from, said he would be unhappy till he got that. When his college friends go for lunch he finds it humiliating to say sorry I have no money.

We've agreed that his debts will go into a DMP, I will pay my 4 grand off over the next 11 months and then we can up his payment and clear his debt off.

Strangely enough, the anxiety has lessened. Even though I know that we've still got the period where we start to get default letters and phone calls, knowing I will be able to put money aside for car repairs rather than worry about if there is enough on the credit card is just, I don't know, calming? I didn't want to default on these debts as its our mess to resolve however I also didn't want to go for an IVA because I want to be able to pay ALL of it back. 18k is a lot but at the same time over 4 or 5 years is manageable.

I've got the payplan paperwork and its time to get cracking.

I don't feel like a failure for giving in, I felt more of a failure for running a stressed out household, for being a wound up parent, I mean my 3 year old doesn't know what's going on now does he.

So time to change ones lifestyle, time to get out of the trap!

byjimini

Excellent, glad to see you're making progress.

Obviously this is just me, but when I wanted some spending money, I'd go busking (so all of my wages go towards bills/debt repayment) - is there any kind of work he could do to get some spare cash?

I used to do some odd jobs for neighbours (cutting hedging, mowing the lawn, taking dogs for a walk etc), only takes an hour or 2 a week, so there's £15-£20 extra.

Once you get into the swing of paying down debts and economising your outgoings, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. An then suddenly it'll all be paid back and you'll be free of it all.

On_my_way

At least you have a solution - just make sure that you both keep on track with it all.

Plum444

I think you've made the best choice. Its not giving in- its fixing the mess. You have got to find a way to live without credit long term and this is the first step.

abby1234519

byjimini wrote: »

Excellent, glad to see you're making progress.

Obviously this is just me, but when I wanted some spending money, I'd go busking (so all of my wages go towards bills/debt repayment) - is there any kind of work he could do to get some spare cash?

I used to do some odd jobs for neighbours (cutting hedging, mowing the lawn, taking dogs for a walk etc), only takes an hour or 2 a week, so there's £15-£20 extra.

Once you get into the swing of paying down debts and economising your outgoings, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. An then suddenly it'll all be paid back and you'll be free of it all.

Well, from June OH is free from College but plan to have son at home a couple of days a week (ie reduce nursery fees) which will enable me to pay off my debt quicker. Then in September nursery fees will go completely. But then we have the choice of whether OH works full time but then we have to pay for breakfast club and after school club. Or he stays working evenings at 24 hours and we don't pay for wrap around childcare. I have worked out that the extra 15 hours a week would negate the wrap around care so not much point. Wouldn't get any tax credits to help. He also has a Science GCSE to do so he might as well just stay at 24 hours. Then hopefully university in 2016

I think being able to pay Payplan one payment is attractive! I'll put it up from 100 pcm to 250 by the end of the year hopefully. The only thing I didn't like is that you can't just make random payments etc, you need to email them to say hey I've got £500 to put towards it. But I guess thats all admin related

Plum444

abby I made random payments all the way through directly to my cards online. If I had £10 spare I made a payment and I never had any problem- it maybe unorthodox but it was what kept me motivated.