How does a stay-at-home parent take out a loan?

DCFC79

Surely its better to be honest with your husband, would it not be better to tell him.

MarkSimms

Have you tried other ways of getting income such as working from home, selling things you no longer use, thinking about every purchase before deciding if you really need it, cutting back on some unnecessary expenses? I know it is difficult when you keep seeing that interest being billed each month, so think outside of the box and see what other income avenues are available to you to help pay down the debt.

Quimoi

Please don't feel humiliated by posting details here - a large percentage of the people on this forum either are or have been in trouble financially and genuinely want to help others with their experience.

I don't really have anything to add to the advice others have given except to say that if my wife was worrying about money (regardless of fault) I would absolutely want her to tell me so that I could help and sort things out together - "for richer, for poorer" and all that.

Oh, and you know men just like coming up with solutions to problems, right?...

CLAPTON

SuffolkMumOfTwo wrote: »

Ok, if I have to completely humiliate myself I might as well go the whole hog.

I receive £300 allowance a month from my husband. It was agreed when we decided to have children that I would give up my job and stay at home and he would support me financially. Which he does. He pays all the bills, he transfers the money into a joint account which I have access to for household stuff. That account is fine. Then he transfers some into my account so I can pay my pension, phone bill, just my own stuff that I had already. He knows I've got a small credit card. He doesn't know about the rest. He would kill me. Not literally. I can't tell him. I need to try and settle this myself. I've already put the pension on hold. I can't cancel the phone contract, but I need a phone and it's not a lot anyway. The rest goes on my credit cards and a loan. There is nothing to cut down on, that's it.

If I could consolidate it into one loan that I can't then spend out on it would be great. Credit cards are useless, I pay some off and then spend it again.

I can't work because we have absolutely no childcare. Anything I could earn would be spent on a nanny or childminder.

I am stuck paying shitloads of interest for god knows how many years. I appreciate I've !!!!ed up so please lay off the !!!!taking.

I would very strongly advise you to post on the debt free wannabe board

there are lots of people there in very similar positions with regard to their partner knowing nothing about the debts

there may not be instant solutions, but I'm sure discussing it with people who either are or have been in that position would be helpful for you

dancingfairy

The problem is you have no real income (certainly it's not going to count for loans/credit cards etc). You owe approx 7k? If you wanted a consolidation loan that would be 14k in total. The banks can't be sure you would stop spending on the cards you currently have and wouldn't wrack up more debt, that's the problem.
I think it's highly unlikely you will get another card or loan with your income how it is, I'm afraid.
What has caused the issue? Clearly the £300 a month wasn't enough so did you spend it on extra food? clothes for the kids? cleaning products? holiday stuff? I'm assuming that you have spent it on general household stuff rather than designer handbags for yourself, for example. If this is the case I'd be honest with your husband, explain that you bought x,y,z, then the next month you had to pay interest so you got another card, then you had to pay more interest etc etc and it just built up.
Are all the cards full? Have you asked any of them whether they would extend your balance at a favourable rate (so you can transfer a higher rate of debt to a lower one)?
Have you got anything you or the kids no longer need that you could sell?
Is there anything you could do from home or whilst the kids are at nursery/school? ironing/dog walking/tupperware parties? Paper delivery?
If you can't find extra income, then it seems that you will be looking at some sort of debt management plan as already mentioned.
Best of Luck
df