help please

bobblebot

Hi,
Any advice welcome.
I went BR in June, result of messy divorce, being left caring for our 4 kids, losing job through sickness and having stupidly seeking no legal advice and agreing to take 47K worth of debt aquired through marriage as ex was made redundant.
Situation now though, OR done...to be honest the whole BR process was much better than I ever anticipated...so I can't get credit now...well don't want it anyway. I am still having letters/defaults & letters from debt agencies coming to call, but at least now I answer the phone and let them know situation and hear no more from them. Seems OR is very slow at letting creditors know but I don't mind that.
My major problem is housing. I had a letter from mortgage co. last week saying they area bout to start with Repossession proceddings, been unable to pay since May-owe 2300 in arrears. My income is at mo on income support total for me & 4 kids 1100, as yet no maintenance from EX. My mortgage is 780 and they are asking for some off arears too. i rang explained situation as I have before, they said nothing can do unless I can pay 800 this month-saying can I ask family to help-oh yes that's a solution-I think not! reopssession is going through. If I pay I have 300 left to feed me and kids and pay bills! also I have to stick to this until February when income support may pay something towards mortgage although i expect this won't cover as my mortgage interest is high rate and £167000 I have heard they only cover to £100000 and at bank of england rate-Is this true anyone know?

So situation is do I live on fresh air to pay mortgage, bearing in mind house is too small-only 2 bed there is me and four kids and fifth on the way..I have a finace but lately our plans to live together and get married has been cancelled by him as he is worried now of all times about the repsonsibility! Think my BR situation has finally got to him, but hey been a single parent for lat 3 years, I'll cope. The house is in negative equity situation and the mortgage co is now piling £30 per month in charges on top of mortgage so it is going up, even if I pay arrears it will take years to pay back and then mortgage could be much more and If I need to sell I may be unable to. (OR has said I can buy BI back) So I am worried about keeping it but scared of the alternatives.
I have looked at private rentals but most say no DSS and whilst I am looking for work and been too interviews no success as yet, so worried that I simply can't get a house. There are plenty of lettng agencies but I think they simply wouldn't touch me.
I have contacted the local housing at council and been told that they can't do nothing until I am homeless, which I am terrified about! As by the time repossession goes to court I am likely to be 6 month pregnant, kids just started new schools near where we now live and I am so scared of what to do with all the contents of our home if we become homeless and whether/where we will be housed. Visions of me and four kids crammed in to a B & B.
What accomodation would the council be likely to offer-if any and what would happen to our stuff! Would it likely be far away from kids schools as I don't know as yet whether I can keep my bager of a car! This also may sound stuffy and I know beggars can't be choosers but i worry too if offered a counicl house, where this may be-there are some very rough estates-drugs, crime etc and I worry not for me but the kids, also about the state of the property as I wouldn't have the fuinds to do many repair jobs to it.
I really don't know what to do for the best, I thought the BR was upsetting but lately I am just crying all the time whilst tryng to act as normal with kids as don't want to worry them and don't want, BF isn't any help as he says its my problem and something I need to sort out. He does say he will marry eventually but now is not a good time, whether I will want to marry him when I'v sorted my problems out is another thing.
I'm worried about everything, how I'm going to pay for 4 brand new school uniforms for kids as all starting new schools, what's going to happen to house and belongings, whether this baby is going to be ok as feel permantly ill and sick all time through stress. I've spent hours on phne this week trying to sort stuff out, have an apointment with police fund to get some help towards at least 2 of kids uniforms, am applying for free school dinners, claimed my healthy start vouchers-which all helps and found out about Sure start maternity grant which could help pay £500 off my mortgage arrears but I don't know what to do?
Please could you help me..I can't talk to friends or family as I haven't told of BR-mainly cos they would be so shocked and i can't deal with the pity and sympathy. Last year I was a high earner, travelling the world at conferences..but the unexpected is always around the corner. I am trying to get back into my profession but once left its very hard and even harder when your pregnant and a woman I may add!
Anyway sorry for rambling, anyone help be thankful for,
Thanks

Richard_S

Hi bobble,

There's a lot of questions in that post and I'll try to have a look in more depth later. You've got a lot to contend with and it doesn't seem as though you're geting much / any support.

On the plus side If you've not had any notification from the Court of a hearing date for the repossession then you've probably got at least six months until such time as you have to leave the house, so you do have some breathing space.

Richard

Richard_S

Hi bobble,

I think you’ve mentally backed yourself between “a rock and a hard place” and you can’t see a way of satisfactorily resolving the problem of housing. On the one hand you have a house but can’t afford the mortgage and arrears and on the other you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never be able to get a rented property. Throw into that the responsibility of four children and another on the way and a boyfriend who’s at best unhelpful and it’s no surprise you’re sick with worry.

There is a good chance that you’d be able to keep the house but that’s a fairly stressful route to take and ultimately what’s the point if it’s too small anyway? I’d nearly always suggest hanging on to a property if it’s feasible but in your case I think it would be more trouble than it’s worth. That leaves rented property which is not without it’s challenges but I think that’s going to be the best way forward for you.

Dispel the negative scenario of being homeless with four children and a baby and concentrate your mental efforts on securing rented accommodation. If you do decide to take that route then stop paying the mortgage immediately, it’ll take at least six months and possibly a year before they’ve actually got an eviction order so that’ll give you somewhere in the region of £4.5k to £9k in terms of the mortgage payments you’ve saved.

That would solve the problem of school uniforms and would give you a sizeable deposit to put down on a rented property. Offering to pay six months rent in advance is always an incentive for a landlord who’s not sure about the likelihood of a tenant being able to pay the rent. Instead of looking at letting agents try the classified section of your local newspaper, lots of private landlords advertise there and they don’t use credit reference agencies to vet prospective tenants; they’re more likely to go on their gut feelings.

Don’t give up on letting agents completely, just widen your search, and concentrate all your efforts on finding a suitable property. Once you’ve made a decision on what you’re going to do you’ll find that having a clear objective will dispel a lot of the negative emotions you’re experiencing at the moment.

As for the car, it’s highly unlikely that the O.R will take that given that you’ve got a large family.

Your fiancé may well be more helpful when he sees that you’re starting to help yourself but to be honest, if he can’t stand by you when you’re in trouble, is it really worth holding out any hopes of a long term relationship with somebody as weak willed as that?

If you do decide to stop paying the mortgage, don’t worry about any arrears or costs because they’ll all be included in your bankruptcy.

If you really can’t find any suitable accommodation before the eviction date and you have to rely on the council then don’t forget that families with young children take priority and you should have managed to save a healthy deposit prior to the eviction date.

If you decide that you want to stay in your current property then post again and I’ll give you some pointers that should be helpful.

Above all, go easy on yourself, you’ve lived through a nightmare and there will come a time when it’s all behind you and the future looks promising again. Believe in your ability to get through this and just concentrate on the job at hand instead of focusing on all the mistakes of the past.

Regards

Richard

bobblebot

Thanks both for your messages, I feel so much better now.
Richard thanks so much, you've helped me to se a way out and take a deep breathe and know I can get through this. I think its been made worse this week because I felt so alone on this, I've also had a proper sit down chat with BF and this has resolved a lot of worries and issues too.
I've started ringing letting agents today and got a better response from the odd one or two, who would let if I have a guarantor which my mum and dad would do for me-so perhaps there is a light at the end. I've been looking at private lettings and not much there but will continue to look. I've also managed to get a reference from the Open University who i do contract work for a few months of the year, been doing it since 2003 so on paper it helps boost my case to landlords. I also have some self employed work lined up alongside OU work from October which whilst isn't much money will definately help pursuade a landlord to let to me.

So feeling so much more positive and again thanks so much,
Jx

Richard_S

bobblebot wrote: »

Thanks both for your messages, I feel so much better now.
Richard thanks so much, you've helped me to se a way out and take a deep breathe and know I can get through this. I think its been made worse this week because I felt so alone on this, I've also had a proper sit down chat with BF and this has resolved a lot of worries and issues too.
I've started ringing letting agents today and got a better response from the odd one or two, who would let if I have a guarantor which my mum and dad would do for me-so perhaps there is a light at the end. I've been looking at private lettings and not much there but will continue to look. I've also managed to get a reference from the Open University who i do contract work for a few months of the year, been doing it since 2003 so on paper it helps boost my case to landlords. I also have some self employed work lined up alongside OU work from October which whilst isn't much money will definately help pursuade a landlord to let to me.

So feeling so much more positive and again thanks so much,
Jx

Ah bobble,

That's made my day, and I forgot about somebody acting as guarantor, I honsetly don't think you'll have a problem finding rented accomodation; it's going to be difficult but it's achievable; I know it is because we managed when we were both undischarged bankrupts.

Good news on the employment front.

If you ever feel low then this site is a good place to find support and reassurance but this one is better:

http://bankruptcysupportersclub.co.uk/default.aspx

There's usually someone on here who's got the time to listen to your problems and they're all people who've lived through bankruptcy. Indeed, when I got to works this morning I tried to go on line and reply to your post but couldn't get on. I emailed one of the regulars on the site above and asked her:D to copy your post and add any suggestions of their own and then email me back.

Needless to say, between us we managed to make what we hoped were constructive suggestions.

So pleased you sound more positive,

Richard