Statement of Affairs

Spirit_2

tallyhoh wrote: »

What about the sports car- used only in the summer. Can you really afford to be this sentimental? or could you use it and get rid of another car?

Thankyou. Currently it is not affordable financially, but represents a lot. Perhaps next year I will not have it on the road for the summer. Cannot replace one of the others - too expensive to insure for daughter and definately not a vehicle to commute anywhere. I will have to get OH to go over all of our vehicle costs.

Spirit_2

the_cat wrote: »

hi spirit

re the food - can you clarify how many you are feeding? you ask about an average budget for 3 adults, but if you are paying accomodation for your daughter at uni, presumably you are really catering for 2 most of the time. I would personally set a budget for the two of you if this is the case and up the budget by approx £20 per week when DD is at home. This will give you a more realistic figure to aim for. (For 2 people a food budget of £40 would seem to be fairly generous according to many on the Old Style Board, pop over to get some ideas)

The pony on loan - is it full loan or are you liable for any expenses at all? Hard as it is (and I know having had horses on and off all my life!) if the pony is ill/lame or the loaner's circumstances change, the pony returns to you with all associated costs. It may be that you would be better looking for a really good permenant home for him/her especially if he/she is now too small for use in your family. Perhaps the loan family would be suitable??

Sorry if the following sounds harsh, but I think you will have to look hard at the amount of 'propping up' other peoples finances you can really afford. There are very few people in this world who can completely pay for their childs uni education, and even fewer who can also pay for elderly relatives mortgages at the same time. The level of you debt seems to me to be saying that you can't do all of this and keep afloat yourself. I appreciate that you may not be ready to change this yet, but I really think that you will need to address this in order to get back on an even keel.

HTH

Thankyou. Pony has a lovely life with the family she is with. If it is in her best interests and they want her she may well stay with them. However we do love her and miss her but cannot provide a regular rider for her and although she is old she is full of beans.

You are right of course about supporting others. I will need to think this through but as you have guessed I do not feel I can address it yet.

the_cat

Best to start with the low pain cutbacks - food, insurance, household bills etc - really pull apart every expense. Try quidco for all insurances (and many other things besides) to get money back, meal plan, swap utilities etc. Every little saving is a step in the right direction..........let the bigger issues 'ride' for a short time and mull them over while changing the other bits. There may be options for the elderly relative, reversion mortgages and suchlike. Perhaps just investigate these sort of options for when you feel ready. Likewise your daughter may benefit longer term by learning now how to budget and take responsibility for her own finances.

But as I said, baby steps................

anniestar

Welcome you will get really great support on here. I think that by trying to address the problems you may feel a little more positive(hope so anyway) As many of the OP's have said if you start with "painless"(or at least relatively painless if you see what I mean) steps making bigger cuts somehow becomes easier.The haircuts for example could you go on ot bi monthly cuts perhaps? The food is very high. We spend less than £166.50 PER MONTH thats for 2 adults and 7cats who are fed on premium top of the range food. We eat well and don't exist on dented tins and rubbish honest. Regarding your horse and pony well to be honest this is my achilles heel:o We have a number of DFW's who have equine dependants and I personally think they are worth every brass farthing!!!!!!!!!!!! (you may have guessed I love my animals !) Please try not to worry too much, you CAN do it. Honest.

JAMIEDODGER

spirit,

just wanted to say welcome to DFW and how well you are tackling things so far:)

this board is fantastic and the community feeling here is second to none.

thecat and anniestar are both correct, start with the small stuff first and tackle the bigger issues when you are feeling less overwhelmed.

listen to all the advice you are given and dont rule anything out, BUT only you can decided where your comfort level is.

good luck

jamie

Spirit_2

JAMIEDODGER wrote: »

spirit,

just wanted to say welcome to DFW and how well you are tackling things so far:)

this board is fantastic and the community feeling here is second to none.

thecat and anniestar are both correct, start with the small stuff first and tackle the bigger issues when you are feeling less overwhelmed.

listen to all the advice you are given and dont rule anything out, BUT only you can decided where your comfort level is.

good luck


You are right, this is fantastic.

I am listening but what has been really powerful is not only the catharsis of putting all this down but the straight forward and empathetic response. It has felt very honest and personal, which is odd as this is a public site, we have never met and yet you know more about my financial circumstances than anyone I have ever known

These are my actions so far, they are based on the advice of many so non are attributed - I hope DFW's can see the seeds of your combined wisdom in here:

• Started a spending diary
• Visited Old Style Board for food budget advice
• Joined August grocery challenge - 400 - a reduction of 266
• Did an inventory of storecupboard and Freezer (why 5 unopened jars of peanut butter? Where did all (6) the unopened Jams come from (pretty jars though) - we rarely eat jam!
• Turned inventory into a plan for 10 days main meals.
• Made dinner tonight of ingredients hitherto never combined - including a marrow, tomatoes, bacon, and home grown egg. It was delicious.
• Resolved to forgo haircut and nails - 65 saved
• Snowballed my credit card debt and have a workable plan (I must stick to it).
• Reviewed electricity usage and found we have a large credit but are already with a cost effective supplier. Have emailed Scottish Power asking to reduce Direct Debit to reflect that we are using 70% of the expected level.
• Visited the bank to ascertain interest rate on Overdrafts (could not find it on internet banking) - horrified to find LLoyds Classic is 19% and Platinum is 12%.
• Outraged by this (and my own foolishness at previously not caring) I returned to the Bank with the contents of the loose change tin which I exchanged for 3x10 pound notes.
• Investigated fruit & veg boxes - these look like a good way of staying out of shops
• OH has a big birthday in October - we have track record of thoughtful but often costly presents and generous celebrations - this birthday will have a theme -Things That Money Can't Buy. First Thing organised:j I know he would appreciate time with much loved nephew who covets VW Campervans so I am taking up a kind offer from a colleague who has one, spoken to Nephew who is delighted & agreed to organise an overnight trip away for them both.

JAMIEDODGER

spirit,

wow!!! give yourself a HUGE pat on the back.....and then take a look how far you have come in just a few short posts:D

seems to me that you have taken to the MSE way of life like a natural!!:T

your list sounds great and what a wonderful, moneysaving YET personal birthday present which your OH is sure to remember for always:) Proving that spending up on the plastic isnt neccessary to show someone you care.

stockcupboard and grocery challenges are great:) and how great to see you putting it all into practice so quickly!

you are doing fantastic hun:D your OH should be really proud of you!

poodlehorse

[quote=Spirit;5888375.

• Joined August grocery challenge - 400 - a reduction of 266 Well done, I am sure you can do it
• Did an inventory of storecupboard and Freezer (why 5 unopened jars of peanut butter? Where did all (6) the unopened Jams come from (pretty jars though) - we rarely eat jam!This made me spit wine on my keyboard, I hear where you are coming from though, I am a sucker for Bonne Maman just for the jars
• Turned inventory into a plan for 10 days main meals.You are a natural at this
• Made dinner tonight of ingredients hitherto never combined - including a marrow, tomatoes, bacon, and home grown egg. It was delicious.
• Resolved to forgo haircut and nails - 65 saved
• Snowballed my credit card debt and have a workable plan (I must stick to it).
• Reviewed electricity usage and found we have a large credit but are already with a cost effective supplier. Have emailed Scottish Power asking to reduce Direct Debit to reflect that we are using 70% of the expected level.
• Visited the bank to ascertain interest rate on Overdrafts (could not find it on internet banking) - horrified to find LLoyds Classic is 19% and Platinum is 12%.
• Outraged by this (and my own foolishness at previously not caring) I returned to the Bank with the contents of the loose change tin which I exchanged for 3x10 pound notes.
• Investigated fruit & veg boxes - these look like a good way of staying out of shops
• OH has a big birthday in October - we have track record of thoughtful but often costly presents and generous celebrations - this birthday will have a theme -Things That Money Can't Buy. First Thing organised:j I know he would appreciate time with much loved nephew who covets VW Campervans so I am taking up a kind offer from a colleague who has one, spoken to Nephew who is delighted & agreed to organise an overnight trip away for them both.What a fab idea for a pressie, I think that is brilliant. I wonder what I can come up with for DH as he actually never wants THINGS anyway. I did once make up vouchers for him one year and that went down very well. I'm not admitting what for though;)

[/quote]

Spirit I found this thread yesterday and had to come back today and see how you were getting on. I wish you well with your DFW plan. You have really taken on board the advice from people already and I think those that have said babysteps, one step at a time are hitting the nail on the head. There are the easy things you can get out of the way and then there are other things that might need working up to and as Jamiedodger said only you can know where the comfort zone is for you. You have made a great start. I know working fulltime it can seem like an added chore to menu plan and to cook from scratch but your finances will thank you and you will find it is worth the (very small) extra time it takes.:T

wyebird

Well done for everything so far!
Just wanted to say that Student loan, whilst still a debt, is a low interest debt. You could always pay it back for her when you were clear of your other debts, if that's what you wanted.
My DD gets the non income assessed loan, works part time and we help out to the tune of around £175 per month during term time as the loan doesn't cover her rent . ( She pays it all in the holidays - two jobs this summer!)

blackangeluk

Wow, well done you :T I bet you slept well last night too

You are doing brilliantly and once you do these things they do eventually become a way of life.

Good luck x