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Parents selling house because of debt

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  • Thanks for your replys everyone, although I would like to clarify a few points:

    All this has been a complete surprise to me, I was none the wiser about my parents financial problems. I was under the impression that's why my parents worked so hard and my Dad works away during the week was so that we could afford the house and then they could retire in it. I had no idea we were losing money every month.
    It is their house and I have no financial stake in it, I am using words like "we" and "our" simply because it's an easy, although perhaps inaccurate, way of speaking.

    Apparently (I asked them today) they have 160k worth of debt to clear. I'm not sure exactly how it's got to that much, I know they have about 20k on credit cards.
    Our house will sell for around 360k so then they have 200k to buy somewhere outright.

    I understand this is the correct move because of the situation they're in, however it is still frustrating how they've managed to sleepwalk into it.

    I don't currently live at the property, this is because I have a job working in London. The job I do is highly specialized in the service industry and, although I would be able to get a job elsewhere in the UK, I wouldn't get anywhere as near as they money I do in London. I rent a room in a flat (I'm guessing illegally) so I have no assets, I've been saving to buy somewhere but London prices are crazy, and since I'm on my own (no partner) even buying a place further out would require me to get a car (unsociable hours) which would be another expense. I think I would barely be able to do it. But then a friend told me, "could I afford not to do it", it's a good point.

    As for my job, I work at unsociable hours and have grown to hate it. I'm in my mid-twenties and I've been considering training to do something else. It's always been nice to know I've had that house to come back to.
    I've obviously get sentimental reasons for not wanting to leave the house, but then also the area. I've grown up here and consider this place to be home, with so many memories.

    The reason for the move is financial, but also a significant factor is to allow my parents to finally spend more time with each other. Like I say my Dad works at the place they're moving to Mon-Fri.

    I think they should have done this 10 years ago, then they wouldn't have had this debt, they would be spending more time with each other. But then it's in the past now, what's done is done.

    I'm just worried they're going to end up buying some s hit hole. And compared to what we have now it seems a shame.

    Like I've said before, I'm just using this place as a way of venting. What's done is done, and now they're making the correct, and only, move.

    Who knows, maybe this would be a good adventure for them. And give me something to explore when I visit (or stay when I go mental and quit my job). It's just living where we do has always been something I can depend on and something I know. I've grown up here and it seems so strange that I won't have somewhere to stay down here anymore.
  • Jhoney_2
    Jhoney_2 Posts: 1,198 Forumite
    edited 28 December 2014 at 7:23PM
    Voyager89 wrote: »
    Thanks for your replys everyone, although I would like to clarify a few points:

    All this has been a complete surprise to me, I was none the wiser about my parents financial problems. I was under the impression that's why my parents worked so hard and my Dad works away during the week was so that we could afford the house and then they could retire in it. I had no idea we were losing money every month.
    It is their house and I have no financial stake in it, I am using words like "we" and "our" simply because it's an easy, although perhaps inaccurate, way of speaking.

    Apparently (I asked them today) they have 160k worth of debt to clear. I'm not sure exactly how it's got to that much, I know they have about 20k on credit cards.
    Our house will sell for around 360k so then they have 200k to buy somewhere outright.

    I understand this is the correct move because of the situation they're in, however it is still frustrating how they've managed to sleepwalk into it.

    I don't currently live at the property, this is because I have a job working in London. The job I do is highly specialized in the service industry and, although I would be able to get a job elsewhere in the UK, I wouldn't get anywhere as near as they money I do in London. I rent a room in a flat (I'm guessing illegally) so I have no assets, I've been saving to buy somewhere but London prices are crazy, and since I'm on my own (no partner) even buying a place further out would require me to get a car (unsociable hours) which would be another expense. I think I would barely be able to do it. But then a friend told me, "could I afford not to do it", it's a good point.

    As for my job, I work at unsociable hours and have grown to hate it. I'm in my mid-twenties and I've been considering training to do something else. It's always been nice to know I've had that house to come back to.
    I've obviously get sentimental reasons for not wanting to leave the house, but then also the area. I've grown up here and consider this place to be home, with so many memories.

    The reason for the move is financial, but also a significant factor is to allow my parents to finally spend more time with each other. Like I say my Dad works at the place they're moving to Mon-Fri.

    I think they should have done this 10 years ago, then they wouldn't have had this debt, they would be spending more time with each other. But then it's in the past now, what's done is done.

    I'm just worried they're going to end up buying some s hit hole. And compared to what we have now it seems a shame.

    Like I've said before, I'm just using this place as a way of venting. What's done is done, and now they're making the correct, and only, move.

    Who knows, maybe this would be a good adventure for them. And give me something to explore when I visit (or stay when I go mental and quit my job). It's just living where we do has always been something I can depend on and something I know. I've grown up here and it seems so strange that I won't have somewhere to stay down here anymore.

    Hi Voyager and thanks for providing more info, it's obviously a shock and a difficult time but I still have a few things to ask which you might be able to consider.

    Do you earn enough to get a £160k mortgage? if so, all your/their problems could be solved in one go.

    Secondly, is there any chance you could work from home? (namely, the family home, thereby paying rent etc to them instead of some room in a place you do not want to be)

    Finally, failing the above, could you afford a flat/room in the area of the family home? maybe it's worth the commute?

    Also, memories are also what you carry with you, not a physical structure or place. Nothing that may/will happen takes that away.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    Seems to me you haven't get left home emotionally .

    Your parents are downsizing - They want a house suitable for their status as an older couple whose children have left home and want something both financially and physically managable - and in an area closer to work so your Dad isn't away from home Mon- Fri. All are sensible decisions. Yet you are slagging their choices off.

    You have made no contribution to the household as you have chosen not to live there but to get on with your own life elsewhere (and rightly so)
    The new home will still have a spare room so you can go and see them (I note you talk in terms of escaping London rather than going to see your parents btw) and will still have your parents living in it. It's people who make a home not the location or if it's a big house or a flat....or its proximity to your old mates.

    The way you talk about "we" does show you haven't left home in your head.....and have some kind of dependency on your parents but the reality is you've left home already by choice and they don't need to take your preferences into account ...just in case you decide you want to visit. That said they are looking for a two bedroom property so they are still welcoming you.

    Maybe you should focus less on what they are doing and more on your own future. If you want to retrain -do you know in what......would this mean going to uni ....or using some of your savings to finance part time study whilst working ?

    Your parents are dealing with their future in an adult way- maybe you should be thinking of following their example and sorting out your own?
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • Jhoney_2
    Jhoney_2 Posts: 1,198 Forumite
    edited 28 December 2014 at 8:09PM
    From what OP says, can't help thinking that's not want they want though...else why work away for 10 years? Could have moved years ago it would seem. It appears that it's what's left on their table of options having lived for years oblivious of what they were getting themselves into at the end of the mortgage.

    How feasible is it for them to a smaller home in the same location, OP? a small mortgage for a short term may work for them too, but this does not change my previous suggestions re what you could do re your own needs.

    "So simply put as the mortgage went down, the overdraft went up. Basically making no change to the money owed. Now the mortgage will be over soon and they will have to settle the overdraft. Because of their age (both still working) they would be unable to get another mortgage so they have no choice but to sell and downsize to another property."
  • The move is for two reasons:

    1. Financial - obviously as I've stated earlier my parents have quite a large amount of debt
    2. So that they can be closer together - They are both stressed because they spend a lot of time apart. It's always been that way as far back as I can remember. My Dad always worked away from home and I can't blame them for wanting to spend more time together.
    However, I do feel that this is something that they should have done a long time ago. Then they would be sailing into the storm without as many holes in the boat. Less debt for sure and a way for them to buy a nice house in the area my Dad works.
    And I thought that in a few years they would own this house outright and be able to reconsider their options then, sadly its not the case.

    This is why if I offered to take over the house with a mortgage in my name it would only partially fix the problem because they would want to move anyway with the mortgage in my name.

    The house they have is quite nice, 4 bedroom house with large garden, pantry etc. It's nice. And I know that whatever they get wouldn't be as nice. It's a real shame, as they had real plans to stay in this house since they love it a lot.

    Basically I just don't want whatever they find to be s hit. They only thing I could do would be to take out a mortgage for them for a small amount (40k) and then they could get something a little bit nicer. It all depends what we sell our house for.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,691 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 29 December 2014 at 9:23PM
    I was about your age when my parents sold the house I had grown up in to move away from where my dad's work had been and to where they wanted to retire - about 4 hours away and smaller with only one spare bedroom between me, my brother and any other guests. It was an emotional break so I can sympathise with you about that, but also the right thing for them to do.

    Have your parents asked for your help? All you can do is offer and if they don't want it, they don't. Have they spoken to a mortgage broker to get a definitive answer on what might be possible for them? However, be alert to the issues of going on a mortgage for them as you might want your own before it is paid off.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Jhoney_2
    Jhoney_2 Posts: 1,198 Forumite
    Then it is the choice they have made regarding their personal finances and future. They spent money essentially from their equity and are now ready to pay it off, downsize and move on to a more comfortable life together.

    You need to come to terms with their decision including it's timing and move on too.
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