embarrassed

claireforest

I'm so annoyed and embarrassed, we have over spent and wasted so much money. We finally paid off the £1000 over draft and had planned to have the credit card gone by Xmas and have some savings, instead we have no savings, all the credit card and half the over draft used. Can't stop ourselves spending feeling very down now

Bobarella

Hi Claire
I'm sorry to hear you've had a set back. Do you know what set off the chain of events to lead you there?
Bob

Bored

Has it accumulated over a long period or built up only during the christmas period? Any chance you can return some things before the big day?

[Deleted User]

do yourselves a favour in january buy a diary and write down every penny you spend and what you spent it on and i mean every penny,then at the end of jan look closely at how you have spent your money and where you can cut out waste and save money even simple things add up like £5 a week on newspapers,£10 a week on takeaway coffee etc etc
the look at how you can save money on stuff like broadband,mobiles etc it all adds up

claireforest

Since the Summer, thought I was being organised buying presents as I saw them and the sales/bargains but I just kept going. Will not do that next year. Also it's take a ways, we waste so much money on eating out. Plus have not been sticking to the shopping list, not budgeting or keeping an eye on things. Not telling myself no, not telling myself stop or wait. Buy now and think later. I've realised now looking back what Ive done or I'm doing but it's hard to break the habit. Sorry just feeling like I've let myself and family down and been quite foolish and no one to moan to. Hope I remember all these things and stick to the plans starting now. Must learn to tell myself no I can't have it (mostly stuff for the kids) and tell myself to save for things

Pixie5740

It might help to get your last 12 months worth of bank statements and put together a statement of affairs to get an idea of where you are at financially.

I started using a piece of software called YNAB earlier this year and my budgeting has improved no end. I've got a nice wee emergent fund built up so no need to use the CC any more for "emergencies" and everything else like Christmas, car service and MOT, the dentist etc is budgeted for throughout the year and I can track my daily spending using the app on my phone. If you're not quite ready for that then a good old fashioned notebook and pen as a spending diary is a start.

Don't be embarrassed...worse things have happened at sea.

claireforest

I've done budgets before, and I can stick to them for about 5 weeks and then I just go crazy spends, then we budget again then go crazy spends. I need to not do that because we can't afford it. As soon as Xmas is out the way I'm going to come on here more regularly, weekly and monthly budgets, allow some money for spends in the hopes that stops the crazy spends, and start telling myself no

peaceandfreedom

Claire, you seem to know what you're doing wrong so therefore you know what to do to change things.

You remind me of how I used to be with money for many years. I have managed to completely change my ways this year (though I still have lots of debts to pay off). On a pretty modest salary, by end December I will have repaid almost £6400 of debt, I have been to Ireland 4 times (twice with the whole family), paid a large sum towards DD's school trip and still contributed most of my salary towards household expenses.

I recently gave advice on my diary to anyone who wants to change their approach to money -I will paste it in here:

Anyone out there wondering how to reduce your credit card debt - first thing to do is cut the damn things up - because that way there is no temptation to resist. Second thing is to buy YNAB. Then you will have to live within your means and budget properly. It works, it really does. Oh and stop buying stuff you don't need and sell the stuff you've already bought that you didn't need. Lecture over for today.

As woodbine has already said, the first thing you need to do is keep a closer eye on your spending by recording every penny. Stop turning a blind eye and hoping for the best, that only works if you are earning vastly more than you ever tend to spend. Even then it's a waste.

As I've said above, I've started using a piece of software called You Need A Budget (YNAB) to manage my money - I highly recommend it. Google it or look around for other threads on this board about it.

You could always just use a spreadsheet or pen and calculator. But do it. And cut up your credit card. Just do it.

You might be interested in this thread as well which is all about resisting the relentless consumer pressure we are all under to just buy buy buy stuff we don't need: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5125747

Good luck and don't let it spoil your Christmas - enjoy your family time and then spend a bit of quiet time planning your new approach in 2015.

claireforest

Thanks, I will have a look at all those things I'm sure when I see my kids face I won't feel so bad about all the spends. If I can stop wasting money on takeaways I'd lose weight and save money lol

bargainbetty

claireforest wrote: »

Thanks, I will have a look at all those things I'm sure when I see my kids face I won't feel so bad about all the spends. If I can stop wasting money on takeaways I'd lose weight and save money lol

This jumped out at me - you find justification for your spending.

You noted that you started buying early to spread the cost, and just didn't stop - you know that it doesn't work for you, so you need to find another way of doing it. However, if you continue with the 'but it makes everyone happy' thought process, you won't get it under control. It took me a long time to realise that people preferred time and shared experiences to gifts.

Do you really think your kids would love gifts if they thought that you were having sleepless nights over paying for them? If they thought that you were having trouble because of the toys and takeaway treats you get them? I'm sure they'd prefer a happy, unstressed parent!

Perhaps allowing yourself an amount for silly spends every month would be better than not allowing any. If you know that you have a set amount to blow on hats or lipsticks or whatever, you are less likely to go mad with the restrictions of other budgets. You might also find that you want to spend it a bit more carefully - it's like making your pocket money last all week!

It really can be done, but you do have to change the way you think about stuff as well as money. Best of luck x

peaceandfreedom

bargainbetty wrote: »

Perhaps allowing yourself an amount for silly spends every month would be better than not allowing any. If you know that you have a set amount to blow on hats or lipsticks or whatever, you are less likely to go mad with the restrictions of other budgets. You might also find that you want to spend it a bit more carefully - it's like making your pocket money last all week!

Good advice, BargainBetty. On this point above - I do this, I allocate myself a small personal budget that can be spent how I wish. This might be spent on coffee shop coffees, toiletries, a luxury food item, perhaps eating out if I'm frugal with it. It is a fixed budget though and I make it last the whole month.

After a while, it becomes fun to see how LITTLE you can spend. I dream up all sorts of ways of avoiding buying things now.