How much to spend on Christmas Presents?

enthusiasticsaver

Does anyone else struggle with what to spend on friends, family etc for Christmas Presents? This is the first year I have put all the presents I bought for each person on a spreadsheet with the cost so able to add up for each person. I budgeted for £1000 for Christmas - £700 for presents and £300 for extra food, drink, decorations and 1 Christmas party ticket for my work do - my husband's firm doesn't do one.


I bought presents according to what I thought people would like and managed to keep to roughly the same amount for friends and mum, stepdad, brother, sister, niece and nephew but on adding up the sums for my husband, 2 daughters and son in law I seem to have spent a lot more on one daughter than the other but because the presents are small (but expensive) her stocking is much smaller in physical size. My husband also seems to have dipped out as there is nothing he really wants. I know they won't care about this but I am feeling like I should really go out and buy more for my other daughter and husband. Also as I have spent £702 I am already £2 over budget so don't want to do that.


Does anyone else worry about this sort of thing and does it take the joy out of present giving to make it so mathematically calculated? I have never worried about it before as never really budgeted for Christmas just bought what I thought people would like and never added up the cost.

BJV

No I worry. My son is 11 and he wants small techno presents. My daughter is 8 and wants games and girly bits. My sons presents are tiny. Small boxes where as my daughter looks as though we have spent millions. Which we haven't just lots of games etc.


As for the cost? mmmm Have tried not to think ha ha

duchy

I assume your daughters are grown ups as there is a son in law in there too so are more than capable of knowing that the fact one of them has more or bigger parcels and the other smaller but more expensive ones doesn't mean they are been treated unfairly.

If they were tiny kids I could see your point --and would suggest adding a bit more bulk from the pound store but not for adults or even teenagers who are well aware of what things cost.

enthusiasticsaver

duchy wrote: »

I assume your daughters are grown ups as there is a son in law in there too so are more than capable of knowing that the fact one of them has more or bigger parcels and the other smaller but more expensive ones doesn't mean they are been treated unfairly.

If they were tiny kids I could see your point --and would suggest adding a bit more bulk from the pound store but not for adults or even teenagers who are well aware of what things cost.

Sorry, perhaps I did not make it clear. I have actually spent more on one daughter than the other but one is more in need than the other because she is single and my other daughter is married and they have more spending power. To be fair we have given them a lot of money this year as they got married in July.


I have bought my single daughter something I know she would like but she would not spend on herself as she has just the one salary coming in and it would make a bigger hole in her budget. As my other daughter is married and they bought a lot of stuff with money given at their wedding they do not need anything particular.


I am not really that worried about the physical size of the stockings because as you say they are adults and realise the cost of things more. It is more the amount of money I have spent on each which is different - a difference of £50 more on one than the other.

kathrynha

We only have 1 child so no issue with trying to keep kids equal. My parents always had the same budget for me and my brother, and stuck to it. If we wanted something more expensive the grandparents and Aunts and Uncles contributed too, and for really big stuff we had to contribute out of our pocket money.
Physical size of presents never made any difference.

For me and my hubby we generally get similar priced presents, but we are flexible. Last year hubby got a new bike for over £1000, where as a got about £200 of craft stuff. He got a really small birthday present, and I'm getting a £500ish present this year. It balances out in the end.

wishus

I shouldn't think your daughters would at all mind if one has tiny, expensive presents and one has bigger cheaper ones. "You've all had the same" - I can remember my mum saying to me. And I can also remember saying to her, it's all lovely, but we're grown up now, spend on the grand kids if you must spend on anyone (I have no kids, therefore I am just a giant kid and will get the things I want for myself as and when I can afford them anyway).

And it sounds as though it's going to be an awesome Christmas for you. My hubby and I spend £50 tops on each other, and we bargain hunt to get what would be dear presents for absolute cheapness.

If you do get any raised eyebrows, just tell them what an absolute bargainista you've been - and that they really have all had the same.

balletshoes

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Sorry, perhaps I did not make it clear. I have actually spent more on one daughter than the other but one is more in need than the other because she is single and my other daughter is married and they have more spending power. To be fair we have given them a lot of money this year as they got married in July.


I have bought my single daughter something I know she would like but she would not spend on herself as she has just the one salary coming in and it would make a bigger hole in her budget. As my other daughter is married and they bought a lot of stuff with money given at their wedding they do not need anything particular.


I am not really that worried about the physical size of the stockings because as you say they are adults and realise the cost of things more. It is more the amount of money I have spent on each which is different - a difference of £50 more on one than the other.

I see where you're coming from - but I personally wouldn't do that. I am the oldest of 4 siblings, as soon as we were all adults, regardless of whether we were single/married/living together/at home/out of the house, we all got the same amount spent on us by our parents.

I only have one child, don't really have a budget to stick to for her, but I do note down what I've spent and what it is as I buy it, so I know what I've got to look for in the various hidy-holes all over my house come mid-December .

I have a budget for my nieces and nephews (as siblings we don't buy for each other or their spouses as we all have kids now) and I do stick to that, again noting what I've bought etc as I go along.

Money_maker

It does sound as though one daughter is being penalised for getting married/becoming sucessful.

tgroom57

Money_maker wrote: »

It does sound as though one daughter is being penalised for getting married/becoming sucessful.

How can that be? The married daughter receives presents from her husbands family too. That's hardly 'being penalised'.

@OP I don't know if I worry about it as much, but I've had a yearly spreadsheet for each of the past 6 years. Very useful to record ideas for stockings.

Sounds like you're aiming for equal happiness, whereas you've been comparing size and cost.

I've been told that I'm useless at buying presents (by a picky daughter with more money than sense, sometimes) so now I just wait until we're out together and she says what she wants, and if I can, I do. Don't feel that I'm a meany: she won't be short of gifts at Christmas. My contribution would be a drop in the ocean and probably unwanted.

Happytravelling

I don't have any children, but my mum and dad used to be the same, giving us both exactly the same. It came to a head when my mum walked round to my house with £1.60 as she had bought my sister a bucket and didn't want me to think she loved her more!!

At the moment, my sister (aged 23) gets more spent on her because she needs more and has a young daughter, so less money, whereas I (too near to 30 ) can treat myself more often and would rather not have stuff for the sake of it, only to have to find somewhere for it to live in the house until I've had it long enough not to feel so guilty when I give it to a charity shop.

Arguably, your married daughter receives more as you also spend on a gift for her husband, there's also more likelihood of her having children sooner that you might want to spoil to. And if she's older, she'll have had more years of presents before your other daughter came along. Plus, there might be a time when your married daughter needs more financial help.

It sounds like this could have happened in previous years, its just that this time you know about it because you've kept track.

If you were my mum I'd tell you to stop worrying about nothing and spend your money on yourself for once.

For your husband, is there a nice bottle of wine he'd like but wouldn't buy, or could you buy a cinema gift card or restaurant gift voucher for the 2 of you to enjoy in January when all the excitement of Christmas is over?

[Deleted User]

My mum subtracts the cost of my kids (i.e. her grandkids) from my presents so it is apparently 'more fair'

I'm honestly not bothered about presents as I'm capable of buying myself stuff I want, but I think it's quite petty to manipulate gift 'amounts' like that.

You're giving to the person, not the household.