Help at Christmas

Westywoodpecker

My DS told me this evening that two of his friends are really struggling to survive day to day living They are in their early 20's and earn the basic wage with two young children. They have no money to celebrate Christmas, and my son hates the thought of this.

I'd like to help them enjoy Christmas & donate toys especially. How can I do this without them taking offence??

Prinzessilein

Some people (especially young men!) find it hard to accept what might be termed 'charity'......Just thinking through some strategies......


First of all, I would talk to your DS....make sure he is aware of all the 'special Christmas offers' that are on at the moment....various newspapers are offering money off coupons for supermarkets....if he can direct his friends towards these, then they could save quite a bit on their Christmas shopping. (One example....buy a copy of the Sun...there is a coupon for £5 off fruit and veg at Morrisions if you spend £10 in store)


Could you...or your son....invite the families over for a meal....not necessarily Christmas Dinner...but sausage supper on Christmas Eve...or a curry on Boxing Day....then it would be 'natural' for you to also give a present to the Children.


In my family, from the time we were children we were always made aware that even though we were a 'poor' family (not that we really called ourselves poor - we just knew that every other family seemed to have more than us!)there were lots of children worse off than we were...and so we always made donations at Christmas. (As children we were encouraged to sort through our toys and donate at least one no-longer-played=with item either to a hospital or Oxfam or a local play-centre)....could your son explain that you feel similarly - and that it would be a blessing to you if you could give a small gift to their children?

Gettingtherequickly

Or why not make up a hamper, you can say it (or most of it) was on BOGOF and you don't want the extras, then sneak a few treats into it.

Invite them round, or if your son has his own place, he can, set up a treasure hunt for toys if the littlies are old enough, or maybe get a neighbour to dress as Santa and knock at door saying he heard they were visiting and that they had also been very good. Kids reactions would override any embarrassment mum & dad may have.

jodles16

Would say the other advice is great, its a hard balance to get right! Mostly just wanted to say what a lovely and thoughtful family you have and best of luck sneaking them something nice!

Jodles

Totality

Anonymous gifts left on the doorstep courtesy of 'Santa'?

Westywoodpecker

Thank you for your replies. I think I'll go with an anonymous hamper on the doorstep. That way no offence can be taken

Thanks for your kind words Jodies . I was pleased with him when he said he planned on giving them half of his Christmas bonus. He's only on basic pay himself.

betterlife

Hi, you and your son sound like very kind and caring people, but before you both part with your own hard earned money, make sure your sons friends are not still buying cigarettes and alcohol, i dont mean to sound harsh, but i hear parents down my childrens school complaining of really struggling financially, but see them outside the school smoking, or in the local shop buying wine, beer and scratch cards! i no we all need a but of something, but some people need to decide whats more important when times are hard. xx

Westywoodpecker

betterlife wrote: »

make sure your sons friends are not still buying cigarettes and alcohol, some people need to decide whats more important when times are hard. xx

I've checked with DS & neither smoke & drink very rarely.

DomingoC wrote: »

You can help them by decorating their house and Christmas tree. Moreover, celebrate your Christmas with them, this will give them much happiness rather helping them.

I'm not sure they would want us decorating their home when we've never met!

DS thinks food hamper left at the door is good idea with a couple of gifts. Told my BF & she also wants to buy a couple of toys too

missindecisive

You could make up a food hamper and say you've won it in a raffle and much as you like it you've got plenty of stuff so could they make use of it ?

Winter_Phoenix

Make sure they know about the local Foodbank. Doctors, Citizens' Advice Bureaux, Social Services, Police, and other organisations, can give out vouchers for three days' worth of food. At this time of year people often donate seasonal fare as well as the usual kinds of food.

If you do give them a hamper anonymously, make sure that it's clearly addressed to them - otherwise they might think it has been delivered by mistake, and refuse to touch anything in it in case the "rightful owner" comes to collect it.

With one friend who was struggling financially, but too proud to accept a little bit of help, I resorted to putting a few coins down the cushions of her sofa while she was in another room. She was fairly houseproud, so I knew she would find them at some point.

Westywoodpecker

Winter_Phoenix wrote: »

If you do give them a hamper anonymously, make sure that it's clearly addressed to them - otherwise they might think it has been delivered by mistake, and refuse to touch anything in it in case the "rightful owner" comes to collect it.

That's a good point, thanks.