I am an idiot...........

Rooster01

Well not posted for a little while.....The stress of starting a DMP became to much and I ended up in hospital.

Now that I'm home I am reflecting on my life and thinking "how stupid was i"

I have since sent copy of my payslip to stepchange and starting DMP 1st January 2015. I remain fragile and hope all my creditors agree with my plan?

I owe around £52000 amongst 12 creditors and feel totally ashamed.

Wish me luck!

Do I need to write to all creditors?

asparagus1968

Hey, onwards and upwards, no-one's perfect, and you didn't kill anyone did you?
Wishing you full recovery and strength in your journey.
Stepchange should be able to guide you on what to do next.
Best Wishes

dancingfairy

Sorry to hear how difficult it's been for you. Try and remember it's only money at the end of the day and they can't have what you haven't got. You are obviously trying to do the right thing by doing a dmp but you could always consider bankruptcy and then they might get even less.
Stepchange should let you know what you need to do in terms of contacting your creditors.
As you are clearly vulnerable you should let stepchange know. It may be worth drafting a letter to send to your creditors to let them know you are vulnerable and, as such they have to treat you fairly and sympathetically.
To be honest though ,it's a bit of a tactical game. Your creditors aren't likely to roll over straight away and accept your dmp (although some might). You must stick to your guns, you are paying what you can afford and that's what they will be getting. They might huff and puff and threaten this that and the other but eventually they should accept it, either officially or, more likely by just ignoring you and letting you pay your dmp amount.
I suggest you get an answerphone and/or screen calls to start with, and don't waste your breath talking to your creditors. It's highly likely you will have people who's job it is is to make you feel bad or who are just reading from a script. I just wouldn't bother. You can write to them and that will be fine.
The thing with debt is that it's easy to think it's fine as everyone else has debt ,but it can spiral out of control quite easily and it only takes illness or loss of a job to tip you into that downward spiral.
Yes, getting into debt wasn't great but now you are facing up to it and obviously now you know different you would make different choices.
Don't look to the past, but to a new future free of debt.
df

dancingfairy

I think to start with it can feel a bit rocky and out of control but hopefully it will soon settle down. Once you get into the swing of things it will be fine.
Do you have any cheap/free hobbies you can do to try and take your mind off things as I can see it could become all consuming. Some kind of craft activity/puzzle books or anything that would distract you would be good.
Try and keep some perspective. Yes owing the money isn't great but you are taking steps to pay it off.
df

Muhren

Hi Rooster and well done for coming back.

I can relate to what you are going through and thinking about what you have done in the past, but there is nothing that you can do about that now. I know it is easy to say but try and look forward not back. I am not on a DMP but from what I have heard once this is in place you should not get hassled by your creditors.

Stick in there, a few months down the line I think you will start to feel better about things. I felt sick to the bottom of my stomach when I finally realised how much debt I was in but once you start to chip away at it you will start to feel you are going in the right direction.

Good luck on your debt free journey. Keep coming back here when times get hard for some motivation.

Ellieseleven

Just wanted to say Welcome back!

Setting up a DMP is always stressful in the beginning but we found that it does settle down quite quickly and you get back to a "normal" life. Four years on, a DMP was the right way to go for us and it has been a huge weight lifted for me. Whilst I had so much debt, I didn't sleep well, couldn't eat, it was all consuming, thinking about how I would pay the next bill all the time - now I keep within my budget and sleep like a baby;)

Like Dancing Fairy says, it's only money and they can't have what you haven't got.

Take care
Ellie xx

judi24

You know you have stolen my strapline - so let idiots unite!!! We have all made financial decisions that have been less than perfect - its about learning from them and moving on i guess and you are in the right place for advice and support. Try not to be too hard on yourself - its certainly not worth making yourself ill about it. It sounds like you have made a good first step in starting a DMP and the experts on here are on hand to steer you throught the problematic first few months. You will get there!

Newyorkdreams

Hey there - just wanted to give you a hug.

Take care and stay strong.

NYD xxx

Hoipolloi

Don't be so hard on yourself. Facing up to your financial difficulties at last is better than continuing on allowing your debts to get further out of hand.

mum2one

Sorry about the hospital, it may seem at first all scary and as dancing fairy said, creditors may huff and puff, but I learnt they cant have what I havent got, I've been in my dmp nearly 2 yrs now, and its coming down slowly, after the first couple of months it all went quiet, before that it was really "speak to stepchange" and they were ok.

Now I might get an odd letter and I just ring say, not won the lottery, not found a rich sugar daddy, so sorry payments same,.

DOnt be hard on yourself.

I've just had to miss a payment, and a couple of months reduced payments, there been a family emergency, all I have done is write / ring the creditors, the weird thing the one I owe most money to (8k), were more helpful than one I owed 1k to. but if i havent got it they cant have it, this way there get more than if I went bankrupt,. xx