How are you coping with Christmas finances?

Pollycat

Great link, Caterina. :T

Christmas gifts are often a ‘zero-sum’ game, where often people just give gifts of similar values to each other. It’s worth examining what this means in a dispassionate practical sense:

Sharon gives a £20 necklace to Violet
Violet gives £20 earrings to Sharon.

If we examine the net result then, in fact….

Sharon has spent £20 to get earrings
Violet has spent £20 to get a necklace.

Yet the problem here is Sharon’s loaded and Violet’s skint. Without the gift-giving obligation, would Violet have really chosen to spend her hard-earned £20 for a necklace?

Instead, perhaps she’d have bought food for her children, paid some bills, or put the money towards replacing worn out shoes.

In other words, Violet’s financial priorities have been skewed because of gift-swapping. She would’ve been better off if they had agreed not to give in the first place.

Says it all, really.

Pollycat

And this which ties in with my comments about seeing unwanted 'stuff' in charity shops:

We give gifts that aren’t ever used.


Whether it’s a naff pair of socks from Aunty Joan or novelty mechanical breasts from your workmates, unused gifts are sent all the time to fulfil seasonal obligations.

We’re spending money on unneeded, unwanted and unused goods; that’s not good for our finances, and doesn’t help the environment, as it just clogs up landfills.

Yet there’s a stigma to suggesting not giving, and it’s not an easy subject to broach. To try to help, we built the ‘No Unnecessary Present Pact’ tool, which generates a nice email saying “I won’t buy a gift if you won’t”, or alternatively suggests a spending limit.

Using an automated tool is deliberate, the recipient feels this is part of a wide spread philosophy, and not just you being tight.

Honey_Bear

Citygirl1 wrote: »

I'm not coping too well. .... already £50 overdrawn ... £115 on my credit card .... I must admit I am starting to panic.

I hope picking out some of the things you've said doesn't sound mean, but what I'm trying to do is show how stressed you must be feeling by the very idea of Christmas. There's not a lot of space left for peace and goodwill if you're worried about money.


Is there anyone in the circle of people you feel obliged to buy presents for that you can have a quiet word with about this feeling of stressful obligation? Going into debt is obviously worrying you, so please do start the conversation with your friends and family - more than likely others are feeling as stressed as you are.


I used to feel sick just looking at all the food and very overwhelmed by more stuff that was gifted to me. Gradually we've cut back to the point where I order and pay for a turkey which we collect on December 23rd from the farm, and that's it, and we enjoy the day out itself. We share the buying and cooking of the lunch with another couple and give each other one gift per person, although OH and I privately give each a few small things over the couple of days. That's it. Nothing else. We have a wonderfully stressfree Christmas after decades of going completely over the top because of family expectations.


He used to have to spend a few days over New Year with an extremely wealthy person through work, and there was nothing he could do to get out of it. There was a dreadful annual parade of presents as each giver tried to outdo the others and OH simply couldn't afford that. His solution was to buy a photo album and stick pictures of the chap and his friends in it with speech bubbles coming from various people - it was a massive hit every year and those albums were in the 'go to' place in the sitting room. Everyone loved them. Giving doesn't have to be expensive.


Martin's article that Caterina has drawn attention to is brilliant and sums up everything that people should think about before knowing they're going in to debt for Christmas because they think they have to.


Very much like Mandragora's views, in fact:

mandragora wrote: »

If you were my friend or relative, the thing I'd want for Christmas would be for you to have peace of mind. I'm a grown-up, and I'd want to say 'Please don't get me anything, what matters most to me is that you are happy and unstressed'. If you were auntie, cousin, neighbour to my children I'd be saying the same thing - get them something tiny if you really want to, but you know what, they'll have lots of other stuff right now, why don't we make a date sometime in February where you come over and spend some time playing with them or doing something nice with them - that will mean more to them in the end than one more present right now.

janb5

kboss2010 wrote: »

If you're anything like me, a colour costs around £60-80 from the hairdresser, eyebrow wax around £10?

See whether you have a college nearby that does health and beauty treatments. I switched to my local college and am now paying £12 for a colour, £6 for a cut and eyebrow waxes are around £5. Beats the £70-odd I'd spend at a local salon and the quality is the same as they're supervised throughout. Put the money you save towards Xmas in a pot you have to smash open and, assuming you get your hair done every 2 months, you'll have over £200 within a year.

I have been having my hair cut and coloured at home for years via a mobile hairdresser. I also buy the hair colour from Avon. Saves a small fortune. Would recommend it.

fiftyeighter_2

Like a lot of people I'm on a very tight budget, just my pension and a singly to 5 grown ups. I save throughout the year, I have to.
I put weekly
£10 Xmas and birthday presents
£3 for my DD,s car tax
£3 for future vet bills
£5 for emergencies
£10 going out/holiday
And then obviously household bills.
After this year though I am stopping buying for any grandchildren over 18.
I currently have 9 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. I will however be still buying for my DD as she is only 19 and still at home. The other DSs are all in there early and mid 40,s. I don't and can't overspend at Christmas. I can't bear the worry of being in debt. I've told my children I DO NOT want them to buy for me anymore. I need nothing, just the and if they feel they have to get me something then a nice framed photo of them and especially my grandchildren will give me the utmost pleasure. I stopped buying for family years ago. I had 14 brothers and sisters and numerous nieces and nephews to buy for. It was a dreadful worry. I got them all together and explained and without a doubt they were all relieved. They had all been plucking the courage up to say something along the same lines but didn't want to cause upset.
I hope what ever you spend or not spend everyone has a lovely and stress free Christmas.

Crowdpleaser

We have a small family. Dh family dont celebrate xmas (jw) and its just my 2 kids, mum, nan n grandad and brother. But when I had my kids we all decides to just buy for them. I have 2 secret santas to do at a fiver each. I have put away 40 a month all year and started shopping in september and am now finished. X

Butterfly_Brain

Citygirl1 wrote: »

Just interested to know because I'm not coping too well. I haven't had chance to save up for Christmas so its coming out of my wages, I don't earn a fortune, am already £50 overdrawn, don't get paid till the end of the month and have £115 on my credit card. I am paying off my credit card and had got it down but have been forced to put some presents on it or else I would struggle, I am determined to pay it all off in January.


Do you save up for Xmas throughout the year? I don't have kids but have a lot of family and friends to buy for.


I must admit I am starting to panic.

Stop buying for friends, just concentrate on family, if your friends are true they will understand.

We always make our friends presents, usually something foody like chocolate shortbread, chocolate candy cane snowflakes, sloe gin etc.
Pots of gold or pots of treasure go down well, just a small container filled with all gold wrapped sweets and a lottery ticket for the pots of gold, or quality street and a lottery ticket for pots of treasure.

Lots of cheap ideas here:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2766466

good_advice

This year I have given the present shopping alot of thought

Decided to give gifts to the 3 small children in family. A token gift to adults and the bigger slice to the family who are hosting Christmas this year = Cash to go towards the food bill for everyone.

natlie

Hi I buy for 16 people and I buy throughout the year. I hunt for bargains and as I haven't been a good saver until this year I find buying and storing stuff helps a lot.


My mums present I bought from Clinique on Halloween it was a blusher but when you entered a code at checkout you got 5 free samples and free gift box - it looks a very expensive present but it wasn't, I did the same wit Keihls for my best friend. I go the John Greed Pearl set through the MSE Email for MIL only £14 but reduced from £80 its these kinds of bargains that really help me to manage my xmas finances.


I keep a running total of what I have spend and coming up to xmas I EBay a lot of old clothes and shoes from the kids as they sell well, I try to make back everything I have spent.


The Grabbit and Vouchers - shop don't drop boards really help me too.


I also make a lot of homemade gifts - usually chutneys and jams from whatever fruit and veg Aldi has on their Super 6.


I have also used aldi products and wrapped them nicely to make them look like special gifts e.g. specially selected salted caramel fudge and Florentines.


Hope this helps
Nat

trailingspouse

Another idea that might be worth thinking about with adult relatives - my Mum and her sister decided years ago that they would no long give each other 'proper' presents.

Instead they give each other a £10 M&S voucher. They've been doing this for years (they started when £10 was actually worth something!!). It's become a 'thing' - Mum gets very excited about what could possibly be in the envelope, can't wait to open it, exclaims 'It's just what I always wanted' etc. And yes, she enjoys going and choosing something. As they're both sensible women of a certain age, the vouchers usually end up being spent on something sensible, like new knickers - but hey.