I've got a mortgage. When my partner moves in, should she pay?

SVW

I moved in with my boyfriend (now my husband) a number of years ago and we had a long discussion about the finances. We came to an arrangement that we were both happy with, but he paid the mortgage. The down side for me was that I felt like his tenant, which I was. After 15 months, when we were engaged, we bought a house together which was in our joint names. It was only then that I felt that we were truly partners. I would advise you to keep the mortgage in your name and pay for it by yourself. Sometimes relationships don't work out and that can make some people turn nasty. This is a step forward in your relationship and you are about to find out if you are compatible. Protect your financial interests for now and see how things work out. Your girlfriend should pay her share of the bills and any rent that you both feel is fair, but it is your property.

garfield33

I moved into my partner's house about two years ago. As all the bills and mortgage were already coming out of his account, we just worked out how much this was and I give him about half each month (he earns a little more than me but not enough to worry about). Everything else (food shops, holidays etc) we split 50:50. I'm not on the mortgage - this was my choice rather than his as I'm something of a commitment-phobe (I managed to avoid moving in together for 6 years) and I wanted to make sure I could easily leave if things went wrong! Very unromantic I know, but I like to be pragmatic about these things.

I don't know where I'd stand in relation to my "mortgage" payments if we did split - I suspect in law I'm a lodger and the money I pay is technically rent. But if I hadn't moved in with him, I'd have been paying rent somewhere else anyway!

galacticwarlord

When my girlfriend moved into the house I owned, we discussed bills and agreed that we would pay 50/50. The one exception was the mortgage. I continued to pay all the capital and she just paid half the interest. This was on the basis that if we split up, I would keep the house and all the capital which I would benefit from would have been paid for by me. She was just paying towards the costs. This worked very well for us, although as we thankfully went on to get married and buy a new house together, we never had to test our arrangement by dissolving it. I think the two most important things are that you come to an arrangement which doesn’t cause either party to be resentful of the other and that you agree up front what will happen to the house if you split up.

gaving7095

I think it's fair that she should contribute, especially toward bills.
Maybe start by looking at what she's paying for wherever she lives currently and have at least some of that as "rent money". Bills could be split 50/50.
If she ends up paying no more in total than what she pays for wherever she lives now (sensibility says that it SHOULD end up being significantly less even if everything's a 50/50 split), then it's all good IMO :-)

This SHOULD be about BOTH of you saving money - money which can then be used to help build your future together.

nephilim

From a legal standpoint, you need to do the following.

Go visit a conveyancing lawyer and have an agreement drafted up. If she makes any contributions (bills, mortgage etc) or does anything towards the upkeep of the property, she has a legal claim to the property should you break up down the line.

The agreement you make with a conveyancing lawyer would be that any monies paid gets paid back at the end of a breakup (no interested accrued), and paid back at a rate that is feasible (IE no lump sum) or gets paid back upon sale of the property.

Source: I work as the IT man in a law firm and asked the conveyancing department.

Muhren

nephilim wrote: »

From a legal standpoint, you need to do the following.

Go visit a conveyancing lawyer and have an agreement drafted up. If she makes any contributions (bills, mortgage etc) or does anything towards the upkeep of the property, she has a legal claim to the property should you break up down the line.

The agreement you make with a conveyancing lawyer would be that any monies paid gets paid back at the end of a breakup (no interested accrued), and paid back at a rate that is feasible (IE no lump sum) or gets paid back upon sale of the property.

Source: I work as the IT man in a law firm and asked the conveyancing department.

That doesn't seem right to me. So I could move in with someone and after a year move out and get everything I have paid towards the house paid back to me? So I have bascially lived rent free for a year, surely not?

nephilim

As daft as it sounds, its perfectly legal provided you can prove it. The onus is on the person who contributes to prove what the payments were for, but yes, you could do that if you were so inclined.

Muhren

That is madness. You would have to pay rent and bills elsewhere so why should you have any claim to get money back if a relationship breaks down and you had to move out?!

nephilim

dont ask me, just the advice I was given when I asked. I am NOT a lawyer, I just work in a lawfirm.

Maigemu

One of the main reasons why relationships break down is lack of openness about money. How you split the bills is probably less important than formally sitting down together at least once a month to sort out the accounts. By all means assign private pocket money .... Everything else should be on the table. You will argue but making up is such fun!