Is there a glimmer of hope?

mreyelash

I'm looking for a glimmer of hope to sorting out my miserable financial state.

I spent three years self employed where I was just keeping the business in the black but at the expense of our personal finances – not taking regular drawings, my family was struggling to survive on my wife’s wage and subsequently got further & further in debt. As I was working very long hours and our debts were spread over some 10 credit cards, it wasn’t until I ceased trading that I realised the horrific reality (at the time approx £60k).

I spent 5 months looking for work before I got another job and, although I eventually managed to appease the majority of the lenders, my debts rose substantially over this period and I got into arrears on all the household bills. I had thought that I would be able to cope with things once back in gainful employment but 9 months down the line, things still seem to be worsening. I realise that this is partly down to the fact that I am clearing arrears on my bills but all the same, we have never been so ‘well off’ with regard to household income. We exist on a minimal lifestyle and spend just £60 per week on shopping (for a family of 4) yet, every month we run out of money about 10 days before payday and are subsequently battered with bank charges.

My wife and I are now at our wits end, and on the verge of separation. I am left to sort out all the problems but I am finding it increasingly difficult to motivate myself – swamped by problems & debts, working long hours and tiring shifts and fighting a loosing battle with depression.

I can see no way forward & no way out of this downward spiral. Can anyone help me?

dubgirl

hi and welcome to DFW, just take a moment to take a deep breath and gather your thoughts. You've come to the right place and there will be plenty of people who will be able to give you some great advice. Take a look at Southern Scousers sticky at the top of the forum re Statement of Affairs SOA, which will be the best place to start.

In_Search_Of_Me

Big hugs for you. What you need to do is sort what is what - there is a thread at the top showing how to post an SOA if you want to. People can then have a look at where you can save. Look at utilities etc & see if you can save there; what can be sold on ebay etc. Sit down and have a chat with your partner & start sorting this as a couple. I promise when you do it will be much less stressful; you'll know where you're at and can start moving forward from then...you're facing things and thats the main thing. Also contact one of the freebie cos such as CCCS for advice too!!

HairyHandofDartmoor

I would definitely contact one of the free charities which help people in debt. Contact Payplan or CCCS for advice. They have helped many people on here and are a life saver for some people.

Put up your SOA as well and you can get specific advice on ways you could cut back. Other people can often see things that you can't.

There is a lot of hope for you, but you do need help and advice from experts.

grey_lady

Bank charges? surely that's just the money they're going to pay you back with interest :-) (see all the bank charges articles) that your going to use to snowball any debt.

On a more immediate note, and speaking from my own experience, if you cancel all DD's and open a new basic bank account, get all dd's to come out as soon as you get paid and spend whats left over according to your budget (see previous posts about the soa's) you'll start to realise that its all under control, it took me so long to get the hang of budgeting, i used to think that monthly bills were all i had to worry about but that didnt account for car repairs/mot's/birthdays/christmas/clothes/haircuts/emergency's etc :-)
i started to budget for everything, putting all those non monthly outgoings into a seperate account, so the money was always there for everything.

Then i started snowballing, earning more, and the debts were cleared far sooner than i thought possible.


Well done for taking the first step :-)

chevalier

The answer to the question is YES there is a glimmer of hope. But it is often hidden round a corner out of sight. The first ray of a new dawn occurred when you came on here and asked for help. It is a tought thing to do. Do try and get your OH to help you with this. If you have had depression for any length of time then explaining how one impacts on the other might ensure some help sorting things out. If only sorting paperwork from each company into different piles.

There is wealth of help here, so look forward to your SOA
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