Crossroads in life - interested in opinions

redandwhitestripes

Sorry if this is a bit of a self indulgent post but I was looking through a similar thread earlier and just wondered what you good people would do if in my position, just based on some cold hard facts.

So I am 42., single, no kids.
I have worked for nearly 20 years in the same job but due to office relocation a couple of years ago I now have a 4 hour round trip commute per day - so tiring and expensive.
I actually dislike the job I do now and also am too knackered at weekends to enjoy any social life.
It pays well though, and has final salary pension.

I sold a flat so have £200K in the bank which I want to invest - maybe property - am quite risk averse so my mind is not made up on that yet.

I just don't enjoy things anymore. Every day is a battle at work -I am management so get a lot of grief and not much support from my boss.

As like the poster in another thread, I am not confident about getting another job - certainly not in my pay bracket ( £45K)

Also I don't want to make my mum worry -I know I know am 42 but still don't like disappointing her!

What would you do !?

melysion

I have two questions:
1. How important to you is that £45K pay packet?
2. What would your dream job be if money was no object?

I'm around your age and not so long ago I made a leap of faith and left a well paying job that I'd been in for getting on 10 years for a completely different career. My salary dropped like a stone but I couldnt be happier.

Yorkie1

Tricky one.

If it was just about the commute, then moving would take care of that. But I don't think the commute is really your main issue, is it? If you liked your job, the commute would be a price worth paying.

Is it being a manager that you dislike, or just in this particular team structure, or in this whole company?

i.e. I'm wondering whether you're looking for a career change, an office move, or just to work with different people.

You mention selling a flat - do you own the place you're living in, or are you renting at the moment? Investing in property (not your own house) is a risky strategy because all your assets are tied up in one thing which you can't easily sell for a good price at the drop of a hat if you need to. Not everyone is cut out for being a professional landlord either - there's a lot of responsibilities and it doesn't always go smoothly / inexpensively.

I'm wondering whether, if you have your own property at the moment, it's worth paying down the mortgage so that you have lower outgoings and can then compromise on the need for such a high salary - if you had an alternative career in mind, perhaps.

redandwhitestripes

melysion wrote: »

I have two questions:
1. How important to you is that £45K pay packet?
2. What would your dream job be if money was no object?

I'm around your age and not so long ago I made a leap of faith and left a well paying job that I'd been in for getting on 10 years for a completely different career. My salary dropped like a stone but I couldnt be happier.

Thanks for both the replies so far.
I am not materialistic at all. I don't need flash things, so always get by on a decent budget. Money to me means to pay bills and be able to have a drink or two with mates.
Dream job - I just dont know any more - it used to be travel - that is what I do now - but the love affair is over so that's why I thought maybe take some time out, buy a small property to generate a small income ( i have been a landlord before for a couple of years) and see where things go.
I just don't want to be seen as lazy or end up unemployable!

May I ask what fields you were in , and transferred to ?

MatyMoo

Three years ago, after 20+ years, I was offered redundancy so ended up with quite a nice package (not as much as your £200k) it enabled me to take 3 months off and fulfil one dream (a puppy).

Since then I have managed to keep myself employed locally doing long term temping in a lesser role than I was in. So much less stress

I am paid 40% less which is tough as my outgoings haven't dropped that much but my quality of life is so much better No 3 hour daily commute around the M25, no longer expected to be available 24/7, I love my life now

Snakey

Interesting. I'm about to be forced into either a new job or a career change, and like you I'm exploring my options and wondering how I can make it work.

I want to try something different - perhaps downshifting, as I don't need much income - but I need to keep one eye on the fact that I am many years away from retirement and won't necessarily be able to walk back in to another high-paying job if I change my mind after a couple of years out of the profession. You know, if it turns out that what I'm assuming would be low-stress low-pressure jobs aren't actually any less stressful at all... that's probably my main worry. I'd be in the same position as now, but on a lot less money. Lose-lose.

Like you, I'm 42 and single with no kids. Unlike you I have a mortgage. I don't have many fears about being unable to cover the interest, but the need to one day repay the capital feels like a really big deal to risk-averse me. I'd really hate to have to sell my home.

Anyhow, I have no advice for you, but I shall be watching this thread with interest.

I am currently putting a super-positive spin on it all to my family - doing my best to make it sound like it's no big deal and I'll easily walk into another job. In fact it's nothing like that, but there's nothing to be gained from telling them and they'd only worry. You can be essentially honest with people and keep them informed without having to spill your entire soul.

melysion

redandwhitestripes wrote: »

Thanks for both the replies so far.
I am not materialistic at all. I don't need flash things, so always get by on a decent budget. Money to me means to pay bills and be able to have a drink or two with mates.
Dream job - I just dont know any more - it used to be travel - that is what I do now - but the love affair is over so that's why I thought maybe take some time out, buy a small property to generate a small income ( i have been a landlord before for a couple of years) and see where things go.
I just don't want to be seen as lazy or end up unemployable!

May I ask what fields you were in , and transferred to ?

I was a postdoctoral research fellow. I was pretty senior, in a management type role, and in as stable a job that is possible given the academic environment. I now work in publishing. I'm starting at the bottom again, obviously, but thats fine. I consider myself extremely fortunate as there is plenty of training and promotional opportunities where I am now. I think a little time out is fine - you obviously have enough money to support yourself for a bit - but theres nothing to stop you from having a complete career change once you have decided what to do (even at our age ). Perhaps even do a degree?

redandwhitestripes

Thanks Snakey, you do seem in a very similar position to me.

I think it is becoming more and more of a modern day issue - or did it maybe used to be called a mid-life crisis !

As I have no kids, I do wonder why I am plodding in a job I don't like anymore but I could maybe get a new job , lower pay, that would open more doors socially.

Worst case scenario, I could live for around 5 years off my savings without having to worry tooo much - a nice position to be in, but it is what comes after.

Further education could be something to consider as I didn't go to uni - I started working full-time at 18.
There are more opportunities for us 40 + these days !

Spidernick

Snakey wrote: »

I want to try something different - perhaps downshifting, as I don't need much income - but I need to keep one eye on the fact that I am many years away from retirement and won't necessarily be able to walk back in to another high-paying job if I change my mind after a couple of years out of the profession. You know, if it turns out that what I'm assuming would be low-stress low-pressure jobs aren't actually any less stressful at all... that's probably my main worry. I'd be in the same position as now, but on a lot less money. Lose-lose.

I'd agree with this. I'm not sure that there are many jobs without stress these days: even if you're just stacking shelves or packing boxes then there's still pressure to meet targets.

Saying that, the OP doesn't enjoy his job and has a long commute. If a job is enjoyable, then stress and a long commute is manageable, but if not then it's not a great cocktail.

Life is too short to stay doing something you don't like unless you have to do so (i.e. family and financial commitments). The OP, being single, has more flexibility than most of us and so perhaps should, like melysion, make a leap of faith and try something else. Depending on where he lives/is able to live, £200K should buy a reasonable property with plenty left over as a 'slush fund' while decisions as to what to do are made.

Perhaps the OP should give up his job and go travelling for a bit, to get totally away from things. That would give him the time to evaluate things and decide what is best for the future.

Also OP, your mum will stand by your decision, don't worry about that. She won't want you to be unhappy and is probably already concerned about the amount of time you are commuting. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she is aware of your current unhappiness, so would welcome any change you decide to make.

Let us know what you decide. I'll also be following this thread with interest. Good luck!

Snakey

My definition of low-stress is a job that I don't have to think about while I am not there. It occurs to me that this is akin to writing a dating profile where the wish list is "must not be..." followed by all the bad points about the most recent ex, because I'm sure there's a whole raft of jobs that I would find too stressful while I was there, which I haven't thought about as that is only an intermittent issue in my current role. Anything working directly with the general public, for a start.

I am considering doing some consultancy (I may not have any choice, since job-loss is imminent and I don't have anything else lined up) where I won't work directly with clients, but I don't think I'll be able to make a living out of it. An alternative is deliberately aiming low down in the same line of work so that I can do the job with my eyes shut and when anything stressful comes up it's the responsibility of my boss (who would be the same level that I am now) to deal with that part and have the sleepless nights worrying in case they missed something.

OP, if you have industry qualifications and don't mind staying in the same field you might be able to get straight on to a Master's without having to do the undergraduate degree first. That's what I did. Cheaper, faster, and at least your fellow students are in their early/mid twenties and not eighteen years old and just left home. You will still be a fish out of water socially, though, be under no illusions about that.

If you only want to dip your toe in to further education for now, apparently there are some free OU courses you can do on line. There was a link in the paper the other day, I haven't followed it up yet so no idea if there's anything good on the list.

Errata

No job is stress free, even the paper boy gets occasional earache from their boss/customers.
You have experience of being a landlord and £200k, buy a row of properties in Hull and manage and maintain them yourself: gives you an income and an occupation,
Or ........ imagine lying on your deathbed and make a list of all the things you wished you had done / wanted to do.