Hi guys, any advice on threads to read?

johnisworried

I am having trouble finding any to answer two specific questions...

My brother is owing about eighteen grand on four cards/loans/etc.

He has been making small payments totalling £100 a month for three years. The debt is hardly disappearing at all.

Half the debts are with debt collection companies.

So...

1) What are the chances that if I offered the creditors my savings (5-6K) between them equally/proportionally to write off the debts, they would accept? What is the minimum they WOULD accept?

2) And if they did this, how long would the debts take to disappear off his credit record?

Thanks!

asparagus1968

Hiya,


The best thing you could do for your brother is keep your savings for yourself, who knows what is around the corner?
And more importantly, direct your brother to this site, if and when he "has his lightbulb moment"
Or, alternatively, give him the telephone numbers of either Stepchange, National Debtline or Christians Against Poverty.
good luck.

johnisworried

Than you.

The important thing here more than anything is getting his credit rating repaired so that he can get a mortgage. Hence my questions.

any thoughts on that? Please? lol

Sazzie23

johnisworried wrote: »

Than you.

The important thing here more than anything is getting his credit rating repaired so that he can get a mortgage. Hence my questions.

any thoughts on that? Please? lol

Hi John

Its kind of you to look out for him, and he is very fortunate you want to help him pay, but would he be able to afford a mortgage and what about the deposit?


Regarding his credit rating, have you checked noddle (its free) to see what it is and how much damage is needed to repair?

I'm with OP - brother needs to have that LBM and work at getting to a DFD.

if you still feel you want to offer F&F then start at 25% and negotiate from there.

You are a kind person, I hope he appreciates you.

Kate_fixing_it

Not everyone has a traditional LBM where everything clicks into place and we draw a line and work out how to "take down" debt. I suspect that your brother is in the other camp - the one where the light flickers on slowly and gradually gets brighter just by the fact that you know he has these debts, what stage they're at and that he wants a mortgage.

As wonderful and altruistic as your offer is I don't think it'll help him in the long term. There are literally hundreds of people posting and reading this board that'll tell you they've been bailed out by a relative/friend only for the situation to recurr a few months or years later. He needs to learn how it happened and how to break the cycle.i feel that's a fundamental part of being a DFW for me - that and really accepting the difference between need and want.

For example I NEED a roof over my head but I WANT a 4 bed house so we all have our own personal space. The compromise for me is renting a property that's in not quite the area I want to live and not quite the mansion of my dreams but that I can afford.

The best thing you can do is support him. I've had a friend offer to clear my debt (as an interest free loan) but what would I learn? And what if something happened and I couldn't repay? I'd lose a very precious pal that I really need on the rough days. My friend will always listen and offer possible solutions. He also gets just as excited as me when I hit a milestone of repayment and we do things together that don't cost much as he understands my financial limits. Money can't buy that.

The other thing that money can't buy is the enormous pride that I am doing this myself! I'm in control of my future and present life. I caused this mess so I'll clean it up and I'm becoming a better person along the way.

I applaud your attitude and willingness to help but as an adult your brother needs to learn this for himself or he'll never be truly independent.

Kate x

Kate_fixing_it

And as a footnote: money destroys families.

If he's asked you to do this and you say no it'll feel awkward for a short while. If you do it and the same (or a worse) situation recurrs the resentment will go much deeper.

I've been bailed out and I've done the bailing out (more than once in both scenarios) and those relationships have never been the same. In one case I have lost what was once a very close personal relationship because I never received a penny of repayment.

Where I've borrowed and repaid I don't feel that I can turn to this person for non-financial support as they may think I'm hinting at another loan.

Give your support and your time but don't give up your relationship for the sake of a few thousand pounds.

Kate x

Karen777

Hiya
I agree - I have been offered help from people that is so tempting to take but I know I would have just got into debt again (and if it happens once he has a house well then the consequences are much more severe).
It's obviously up to you and there is a full and final offer thread on here with template letters - and start at 25% as said (but the letter has to come from him not you) but seriously think about it before you do this. If he doesn't learn to manage his money then a mortgage is a whole world of nightmares potentially.
You are a very good person for offering to do this though. Please don't take what people are saying as harsh judgement - we are just people who have learned/ are learning the hard way and recognise that it is the best way!

Karen777

here is the thread I mentioned:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/115430

johnisworried

Thanks all.

sourcrates

Have to say Kate's advice above is excellent.


Rarely does a family bailout help in the longer term, your brother will most likely find himself in this position again further down the line, its the root cause of why he`s in this mess that needs to be tackled, weather its because he lives beyond his means, or splashes out on things he knows he cant afford, etc etc.


And, as generous as your offer is, your 6k is unlikely to be enough to cover debts of 18k, each would need to settle for less than half what he owes, which is an unlikely prospect.