Friends and family loan nightmare

ViolaLass

McKneff wrote: »

The OP didn't actually say 'when' he started the repayments though.....

Agreed, although unlikely to be before the money was borrowed.

OP also states full intention to pay back all the money. I think assumptions made by some that the OP has been living the good life since rather than pay back money owed is a little uncharitable.

thanksforhelp_2

Thanks for all comments. I definitely have not been spending money left, right and centre. My first priority has been to pay the money back as I genuinely appreciate that this person did help me when I needed it most.

I started repaying in July which was agreed and I kept my friend informed of what was happening. I guess it just feels like I've kept to what I said I would and now things seem to have changed....

James_B.

ViolaLass wrote: »

Agreed, although unlikely to be before the money was borrowed.

OP also states full intention to pay back all the money. I think assumptions made by some that the OP has been living the good life since rather than pay back money owed is a little uncharitable.

Not as uncharitable as borrowing money and taking so long to pay it back when the friend needs it.

OP, sell things, take on extra work, or take out a loan, if you care at all for the person who helped you in your time of need.

You now get to show if their generosity was foolish or not.

tell_it_how_it_is

Perhaps in reality the friend believes the length of time you took to start paying, and the amounts and regularity since July haven't been good enough?

As mentioned above, perhaps mention what you borrowed and what installments you have made. We can then at least suggest whether we'd think it'd be acceptable to us if we were in their shoes.

gik

OP your friend was there for you and did you a big favour when you needed it and helped you out financially. Your friend now needs/wants their money back now. Find a way, you owe them...in more than one sense.

ViolaLass

tell_it_how_it_is wrote: »

Perhaps in reality the friend believes the length of time you took to start paying, and the amounts and regularity since July haven't been good enough?

Or perhaps the friend just suddenly needs the money.

tell_it_how_it_is wrote: »

As mentioned above, perhaps mention what you borrowed and what installments you have made. We can then at least suggest whether we'd think it'd be acceptable to us if we were in their shoes.

Is this relevant? The point is the friend wants/needs the money - our opinion on whether they are being reasonable or not is hardly the point.

Come on people, can we stop being so judgemental please?!

OP, as James_B suggested, do you have anything you can sell or overtime you can do to get the money sooner?

stator

I think many of you are overly harsh, making many assumptions.
In my opinion if you lend someone money on an open ended verbal agreement, you can't get all upset if they can't repay you the entire amount at short notice. If I ever lend money to family or friends I work from the assumption that I may not get it back.

You may wish to update a spreadsheet with your budget and let your friend have a look so they can see you don't have large amounts of spare cash.

bargainbetty

Lots of opinions, lots of assumptions. OP, talk to your friend and see what the score is. Be upfront about what you can afford, and if there is anything you can do to pay more, do it, if for no other reason than to get it off your shoulders/help your friend out of whatever tight spot they are in.

Don't talk to us. Talk to your friend.

Idiophreak

OP, has your friend actually said why they want the money back?

Have you asked?

twiggy86

Its definitely important to talk to your friend. Maybe their position has changed and they need the money for something. I'm sure they wouldn't just ask for the loan repaid in full without a valid reason. Would you be able to get a loan for the amount? I'm not sure that's the most MSE thing to advise, but you need to consider how important their friendship is to you and the repercussions of not paying it back in full as requested.
But as I said your first port of call should be to sit down with your friend and discuss why they want the money back in one go and your current position.