Married to my referee

trailingspouse

I've just had a thought - OH and I run our own business. There's just the two of us, we're both directors.

Now, everything is fine and the business is doing well, but it's always wise to have contingency plans.

If I needed to find a 'proper' job, my current 'boss' is my husband - would potential employers accept a reference from my husband?? Obviously he wouldn't need to specifically say that he was my husband, but our surname is quite unusual so HR wouldn't need the brains of Sherlock Holmes to work it out.

Or even worse, if he died - who could give me a reference?

There are clients that we deal with who would be prepared to say nice things about me (I think...) but no-one that I actually work with on a day-to-day basis who could vouch for how good I am at my job - other than my husband.

Cheeky_Monkey

trailingspouse wrote: »

I've just had a thought - OH and I run our own business. There's just the two of us, we're both directors.

Now, everything is fine and the business is doing well, but it's always wise to have contingency plans.

If I needed to find a 'proper' job, my current 'boss' is my husband - would potential employers accept a reference from my husband?? Obviously he wouldn't need to specifically say that he was my husband, but our surname is quite unusual so HR wouldn't need the brains of Sherlock Holmes to work it out.

Or even worse, if he died - who could give me a reference?

There are clients that we deal with who would be prepared to say nice things about me (I think...) but no-one that I actually work with on a day-to-day basis who could vouch for how good I am at my job - other than my husband.

Good grief :eek: If that's all he means to you, I suggest you need a divorce not a reference

bugslet

Would you as a business owner accept a refernece from someone's husband? Or clients?

I'm in the same boat more or less, only without the husband bit, so unless an employee woud give me a reference I'd be stuck with clients.

I'd say stick a reference in from your OH and a prospective employer will take as much or as little notice of it as they want; you can never guage.

hoepfully you won't need it

fairy_lights

I would try and get a reference from a longstanding client, someone who you have done work for for the longest time possible who can vouch for your consistency.
Also, is it just me, or does "married to my referee" sound like the title of a Jerry Springer episode?

JimmyTheWig

trailingspouse wrote: »

Or even worse, if he died - who could give me a reference?

You could get him to write a "to whom it may concern" reference now, just in case.

TELLIT01

If hubby reads this I suspect he'll also be checking to see if you've suddenly topped up his life insurance too :-)

trailingspouse

That's the problem, right there!! When we're running the business, we're two professional people running a business (we were running the business before we were married). So yes, I'm concerned that if he should die, I would have problems regarding the business, including who to get a reference from.

The rest of the time, we're a happily married couple, and I would go through the same grief as any other widow.

I was asking if potential employers would be able to separate the fact that we're married from the fact that we work together. And in one sentence you've answered it. And somewhat heartlessly, I might add. Although reading my own post back, it does sound somewhat heartless too - sorry.

However - I'm not asking 'How will I cope if my husband dies', I'm asking 'How will I cope if my business partner dies'.

To the other posters - I think you're right, and who pays much attention to references anyway?? I would think it was odd if someone applied for a job with us and used their spouse as a referee - good question. Long-standing client it is then.

tea_lover

A lot of companies will ask for more than one referee anyway so it makes sense to have someone else in mind, as well as your husband.

If I was receiving these I'd look at the context - a spouse referee from someone employed in a large company would ring alarm bells, but in your set-up it would make perfect sense as there's less choice of who to ask.

whitewing

My husband works for me and I have given him references, as with my MIL, my sister in law and my son at various points. I declare the relationship.

I have also accepted a reference from an aunty (in a professional job & not my aunty).

All of these were part time roles though.

TBagpuss

I think most employers would understand that if you have been effectively self-employed you are not in a position to provide a reference from an employer, so it is much less of a concerns of red flag than if your CV showed you were (or had recently been) employed but you were unable to provide a reference.

I think it is useful to think about who might be in a position to give you a meaningful reference if you did need to get a job elsewhere - as an employer, I'd be happy with a reference from a client if it was relevant to the job you were applying for - I would know that a client would not know all of the ins-and-outs of your job skills, but if they are in a position to say that as a client they always found that you responded promptly to queries, were polite, met deadlines etc then that is helpful as those are transferable skills, and it probably also means that you are pretty good at managing your time, fairly well organised etc as you would need those skills to achieve the outcomes the client can report on.

i think the only situations where you might have an issue would be if you were applying to a very large organisation with a very rigid structure 0 in those cases, a reference from your husband (or even one from you in your company director / business owner role!) lets you tick the box for a requirement for a reference from a current employer, and you can explain the situation in your covering letter / personal statement.
Most jobs however references are not taken up until after any interview, so you would normally be able to explain at the interview.

KiKi

^ This.

I wouldn't want a reference from your co-director whether he's your husband or not. I'd want references about the quality of your work from clients.