Husband £90,000 in debt what can we do?

Please help

I've just found out my husband is in £90000 debt on about 9 credit cards. What can we do, will we lose the house. He says he cant now meet all his payments. Please help us. We have alittle 4 year old and i really cant lose the house
Help

Desparate
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Comments

  • lynne1307
    lynne1307 Posts: 69 Forumite
    wow. you must be really upset. i can't offer you any advice but i hope you get things sorted out, it must be a real worry
  • darich
    darich Posts: 2,145 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Really sorry to hear of your situation.

    first thing i'd do is contact all the card companies and ask for the amounts to be frozen or held because of your situation. At the very least ask them to reduce the interest rate.

    Without knowing more details eg your mortgage/equity then it's difficult but another option after talking to the card companies may be to add some to your mortgage - like a secured loan. But if you do that then you'll be paying the cards back over a longer term but with lower interest rate. It's crucial/vital/critical that you cut the cards up if you go for this to remove the temptation to spend on them again.

    best of luck

    Keen photographer with sales in the UK and abroad.
    Willing to offer advice on camera equipment and photography if i can!
  • Crown
    Crown Posts: 1,377 Forumite
    Hi Mandy, Welcome to DFW

    |First thing is try not to panic... If all the debts are on unsecured credit cards then it is unlikey that your home is in immediate danger.

    We need some more info on your situation to be able to give you any more advice. Please read The first time posters thread at the top of this forum and post up your statement of affairs.

    I know how much of shock this must have been to you and most of us here have gone through it at one time or the other. We are all here to help and offer advice so once you post your SOA we we do what we can.

    There are many options you can take from a Debt managemnt plans to IVAs and if worst comes to worst bankrupty. Hopefully it will not come to that. The thing to remeber is its only money and your family and esp your daughters welfare comes first.

    Good luck and look forward to further details ;)
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 297 - Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts :D
  • JohnInDebt
    JohnInDebt Posts: 893 Forumite
    You posted on another thread over 18 months ago mentioning the debts (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=135297). You really need to do something now before you lose your house.

    Post an SOA (see this thread: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280) and people will be able to offer more advice to help you in your situation.

    Good luck.
    Disclaimer: Any spelling mistakes or incorrect grammar is purely coincidental and in no way reflects the intelligence of the author.

  • In_Search_Of_Me
    In_Search_Of_Me Posts: 10,634 Forumite
    Firstly, breathe. This is a huge shock for you and you will need to do some sorting. There are a number of free agencies such as CCCS who can help. Have a look at the "sticky" post about first time posters and that will help you to do a statement of affairs (also known as an SOA).
    It's important that you get an idea of income/outgoings & expenditure so you can begin to establish where you need to go from here. Do you know why he has got this much debt?
    My heart goes out to you, it really does but its important that you understand you are surrounded by people who have debt & we understand what it feels like to be where you are now. When I worked out my debt I cried for two days before I could start to sort! It will get better; just knowing where you are will help & I am sure it will be a relief to your husband that he has now told you but am sure that you will be feeling angry with him right now.
    Get familiar with the boards and have a hunt at where you can save (utilities/phone etc). The old style boards are great for cheap ways to manage a household budget & save.
    Keep posting & dont loose hope; post your soa and people will be able to help you on where to cut back. Huge hugs for you!
    Nerd no 109 Long haulers supporters DFW #1! Even in the darkest moments, love and hope are always possible.

  • asp746
    asp746 Posts: 419 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    well, your husband has taken the hardest step and that's been in telling you. I can imagine you must be feeling a mix of emotions which are totally understandable - pls go easy on your husband - he has probably been torturing himself over this and no doubt making himself ill.

    Firstly, I would write a list of to whom and how much you owe. Then go the cab and ccs - while you are waiting for an apt I would fire off a letter requesting frozen payments etc. Secondly, look at all your outgoings and make any cutbacks.

    In the meantime if possible, you need to post an expenditure form on here so people can have a look and offer you advice. I just hope between the two of you and all of us we can somehow work this out. There are people who will be along on the board shortly who will be more helpful than me but keep in touch with the board - once you're over the shock, survival instincts will kick in and you'll be ok - honest.
  • Treadmill
    Treadmill Posts: 1,102 Forumite
    How did you not notice £90'000 of spending ?
  • Crown
    Crown Posts: 1,377 Forumite
    Treadmill wrote: »
    How did you not notice £90'000 of spending ?

    I run up £15,000 on credit cards without my family knowqing about it. If the statements are in the husbands name when how would she know unless he had confided?

    The main question here is 1) what was the £90,000 spent on and 2) is the spending problem now under control? If the debts are due to a addiction your husband needs to seek advice urgently. If he is not prepared to then you need to try and get control of the finances to put a stop to his spending.

    Once we have further info we can offer some constructive advice
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 297 - Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts :D
  • Treadmill
    Treadmill Posts: 1,102 Forumite
    I'm thinking that to spend 90 Grand without anybody noticing Big TVs or New cars being bought there must have been some denial going on, facing up to it is a good start. As would selling some of the stuff bought with the credit.
  • Kaz2904
    Kaz2904 Posts: 5,797 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    Yes but a gambling addiction or similar could rack up large debts with nothing to show for them.
    Debt: 16/04/2007:TOTAL DEBT [strike]£92727.75[/strike] £49395.47:eek: :eek: :eek: £43332.28 repaid 100.77% of £43000 target.
    MFiT T2: Debt [STRIKE]£52856.59[/STRIKE] £6316.14 £46540.45 repaid 101.17% of £46000 target.
    2013 Target: completely clear my [STRIKE]£6316.14[/STRIKE] £0 mortgage debt. £6316.14 100% repaid.
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