So so stupid

ThirdTimeArounf

well what can I say? In 2005 we entered an IVA thanks to a lot of advice received on here with debts of £114k The IVA was completed early in 2008 and of the £114k we paid back approx £68k through 3 years payments and a remortgage . Life was great BUT stupidly we started with credit cards again and today has be a real LBM....we owe £36k...paying £800pm to them.

Please don't slate me as I know how stupid I have been and feel so bad nothing anyone cold say could make me feel worse.

These debts have been run up since 2009 , some are O% , no payments have been missed and our credit files are fine. We have a mortgage , both work and earn approx £60k (before deductions) between us. I know I need to do an SOA and will when I get the chance.

Life is crap at minute, my sister is terminally ill in hospital and I am sitting with her approx 6 hours a day , 2 hours traveling there and back, working when I need to, (self employed and my work is starting to suffer as I can't put all the hours in I should at minute ). My daughter is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, trying to support her, while trying to stop myself ending the same way. ( I had a breakdown before due to the debt and spent 6 months in hospital)

I just don't know where to start....sorry for the ramble just needed to see it written down :-(


I am so ashamed of being in this situation again I am not using my account from 2005 , although can't even remember the details

moohound

Welcome back TTA, life does throw some horrible stuff at people sometimes, and there is only so much one individual can take before they fall apart, but we are here to support you if you need us.

Try not to feel ashamed, everyone makes mistakes and you have had your LBM as you said, so now its time to move forward, post an SOA when you feel ready.

xx

Seanymph

Well, you've sorted it out once, you'll sort it out again.

At least you are now in the right place to start - when you have time do an SOA and I'm sure you'll start feeling back in control.

ThirdTimeArounf

moohound wrote: »

Welcome back TTA, life does throw some horrible stuff at people sometimes, and there is only so much one individual can take before they fall apart, but we are here to support you if you need us.

Try not to feel ashamed, everyone makes mistakes and you have had your LBM as you said, so now its time to move forward, post an SOA when you feel ready.

xx

Thanks

I am just sitting here numb, should have left for hospital over 2 hours ago and just can't seem to as need to get my head straight.

Hubby says "don't worry, we don't have problem paying it. " which we don't, and always pay more than minimum payments, just feel it could easily crash around us though....need to get my head straight....the thing is have seen it coming and just kept spending...

ThirdTimeArounf

Seanymph wrote: »

Well, you've sorted it out once, you'll sort it out again.

At least you are now in the right place to start - when you have time do an SOA and I'm sure you'll start feeling back in control.

Yes we will , just scarey

jodles16

You have done the right thing,noticed the debts increased and come back here to get back on track. Im sorry things are so difficult and sad for you at the moment, sending virtual hugs!

When your ready post the SOA and the good folks will be happy to offer guidance!

Good luck, Jodles

StressedSteph

Hi TTA,


Just admitting to it is the first and biggest hurdle. Just be grateful that you have had your LBM before you got back over 100k.

36k in comparison should be a breeze for you to pay back.
If you managed 68k in three years, then it shouldn't take you a hideous amount of time.

I know you are dealing with other issues with family health at the moment, but you need to grab a hold of this debt now and stop it getting any worse.

Step 1:- Cut up those cards and both swear to not use anymore credit. FULL STOP!!

Step 2 - post a full and detailed SOA on here for these great folk to help you streamline your outgoings.

Step 3 - Meal plan - get yourself loads of slow cooker recipes going - these can be bubbling away while you are at work or hospital and will save the temptation late at night to solve your hunger with takeaways.

Also if you are feeling unable to cope, PLEASE go see your Dr's (and possibly take your daughter with you if she is also struggling). Through traumatic times the Dr's can often prescribe something to help you cope. It is not a sign or weakness and will hopefully prevent you totally breaking down and being out of action completely.

I really feel if you can somehow kick yourself into gaining some control again, you will start to feel a lot more positive.

Keep smiling hun, nothing is un-fixable. xxx

Flutterby83

Hi, I can't really offer advice but I just wanted to say you're not alone....I completed an IVA in 2009 and have managed to get into debt again, although like you I have realised before it got out if hand again. You have done the right thing by realising your situation and doing something about it although I agree that if you feel like things are getting in top of you going to see your GP is a good idea. A slow cooker is also a good idea, we have health issues in our house so dinner can be cooking while we're out at various appointments etc and many of the recipes can be bought quite cheaply too. I'm sure someone more experienced than me will be able to help you more than I can but just wanted to offer a bit of support xx

Nicholas_Puri

Keep your head up. As jodles16 said, you have done the right thing and taken a big first step. You have addressed your issue rather than burying your head in the sand. That's easier said than done and takes some courage.

It is easy to overspend, especially when life throws unexpected events your way and you just want to escape. But now is the time to be brave and face up to the issue. You're going to have to be extremely disciplined and dedicated, but guess what... you can get out of this.

Firstly, take a look at your costs. Write everything down you spend money on and look firstly at what is essential. That's your base. From there start to look at what isn't essential and maybe isn't even contributing to your happiness or well-being.

A situation like this can be cathartic and end up being a good thing. Take the positives from this and try to make some disciplined, productive and sustainable changes in your life. I believe in you to do this properly, so believe in yourself and make this a challenge you're going to overcome.

I am really sorry to hear about your other personal issues. Sometimes it can feel like the world is against you and you can struggle to cope. But this is not the case; you can definitely cope and think of it this way... you have been given these problems to face because you are strong enough to handle them. As I said before, take it as a challenge and try to take as many positive things from it as you can. You being there for your sister is giving you the chance to show how much you love and care for her and I'm sure she appreciates it.

Stay strong, there are people here and in your life that can help you. But most of all, you can depend on yourself too!

dancingfairy

Personally I'd say don't worry about the money too much at the moment. Yes try not to spend unecessarily but your obvious priorities are your sister , your daughter and your self/your family.
I believe the money issues might be a sympton of all the stresses you are under, and obviously if you aren't able to work as many hours as you need/want then this is going to exacerbate things. Hopefully, in time you will be able to pick up more hours, but obviously at the moment, your sister needs you.
Are you getting any help at all? You are obviously under a huge amount of stress so some counselling might help you. Is there any support from Macmillan or the hospital to help the family of those terminally ill patients? Try and find sometime for yourself, even if it's a bubble bath or a cup of tea for 5 minutes or reading a magazine.
Regards
df

ThirdTimeArounf

Thanks everyone for the replies. I ran some figures through a snowball calculator yesterday and basically if I keep paying the 800 a month debts will be paid off in 57 months.....some interest rates may be slightly out but when I get chance going to check it properly. Paying min payments only will take until 2037 to pay off some of them :-( definetly not n option.

Feeling a little more positive today and it WILL get sorted and have shredded all cards. Need to check and see of I can move any of the debt to the other cards with 0% on them as loads of available credit again just a case of sitting down to look at it when I get time, and that's very short at the minutes .