Average nights per week??? Advice please

Kramoose

Hi all,

I have an agreement to have my daughter 6 nights in 4 weeks i.e. friday and sunday one week, saturday night the next. However, recently since the ex has a new bloke she is literally always asking if I want to have her extra nights / days which I nearly always agree to if I possibly can with work commitments etc.

The last 3 months I have had her on average well over 3 nights a week, pretty much 3.5 days a week The previous 3 months I had her on average just under 3 nights a week.

So - I just said that I think we need to adjust the maintenance payments in accordance with how often I was actually having her as was only fair. She said that was not correct and I should pay only as per the 6 days in 4 or 1.5 days a week.

She has also said that if I like we can go back to me only having her 1.5 days a week if I reduce the maintenance which I don't want and to me seems ridiculous - reducing the amount of time I get with my daughter to increase the amount of money I pay her!!???

All seems crackers to me but would be good to get others take on it!? I just want to pay what i'm supposed to and no more. FYI I paid £370 and reduced to £308 based on an average of 2-3 nights a week even though it could be the next band up at 3+ nights.

I hate to argue over 60 quid but I don't see why I should pay over the odds am I being unreasonable??

HappyMJ

Not being unreasonable at all.

She'll need to go out with the new bloke less and stay at home if she wants that £60 so much....but you'll see your daughter less.

You shouldn't say "and no more" on this forum. You should say no less than I'm required to and you'll get a bit more sympathy. Silly isn't it.

Kramoose

Yes it was a bad turn of phrase! In actual fact I spend loads more on clothes, shoes etc etc without thinking about it. I just don't see why she can be a total b*tch and expect me to pay more than I'm supposed to.

FBaby

In theory, child maintenance is based on night spent with the pwc, on the assumption that this comes with higher costs. These costs includes things like food, electricity etc... but also things like clothings, activities, cost of presents when invited to parties, school trips, etc...

If you are prepare to ask to reduce to pay maintenance, it should come with an offer to take on not just the cost of food, but also the rest. Will you pay for activities if your DD wants to do something on one of the new days she is with you? Will you buys her some new clothes and wash some of it regularly etc... you get the point.

All in all, which ever way you do it, you shouldn't be better off financially, it would just mean that you are more invested in the costs of things.

monty-doggy

My oh provides a full wardrobe of clothes while his kids are here 3 nights a week, shoes coats everything. We wash all the school uniform ready for Monday morning and provide packed lunches. We pay for all weekend activities too.
We've never been able yo reduce payments and despite having the kids on what are the most expensive days (weekends) we still have to pay what the csa say is the set amount.
It's not a fair system at all.