How to split bills with partner

Pixie5740

James_B. wrote: »

Why not?

...because the OP can't afford to. The lifestyle her OH wants is not affordable to her.

Horseygirl123

Pixie5740 wrote: »

If he doesn't want to hear it or come to some resolution on the matter then you should kick that dawg to the kerb as they say in the US of A. That's not the kind of man you want to hitch your star to.

I fully agree. You need to sort this out before you waste time continuing this relationship.

When I married my husband back in the dark ages, I was a lowly paid office worker, my husband a well paid engineer. There was no question of splitting the bills 50/50. Our money went into the joint account.

Friends of ours make such heavy weather regarding their finances. He pays for this, she pays for that, etc etc. She is unhappy as she feels she has drawn the short straw and he has much more disposable income than her but as it has always been this way her husband is quite happy and doesn't want it to change. I bet he doesn't!

pmlindyloo

Life was so much easier when you didn't move into together unto you had made a commitment to each other that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.

Even without the marriage vows it was a case of 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer'.

It seems to me that it's now often the case that because you have sex together it is now easier to move in together to save all the hassle of living separately.

To me that is no more than being flat mates with fringe benefits. Nothing wrong with that but unfortunately for the OP this means that she has to pay half the bills.

If there is a commitment of a future life together then everything should be discussed together.

I do understand that people do arrange their finances in different ways but have always wondered what happens if one becomes unemployed or one has a baby. Surely the other one has to support then financially? Certainly the benefit system supports this as everything has to be done jointly. Or, if you support each other in times of crisis do you dole out the money and then revert back to the original arrangement when things improve.

Thinking of money as mine and yours can be a recipe for disaster in a relationship. It seems to breed resentment. What is a partnership about if it is not a sharing of responsibilities and concern for each other?

MrsPorridge

I agree with Horseygirl - been married now for over 20 years - when we got engaged we got a joint account and both our salaries went into that and everything comes out of it. Have done it eversince. Generally DH has always earnt more than me - but when he was made redundant and had 3 months out of work then that was the time I earnt more than him! It doesn't matter to us - it is not your money and my money it is our money.

I have to say I can't understand how you can live together in a partnership and not share all your money.

At the end of the day though it is up to each couple to work out what is right for them. If you are feeling a bit disgruntled though that will only grow and get worse. So you do need to sort something out now.

belleandthebudget

What about suggesting Now TV? They have a Sky Sports package (they're owned by Sky) which would be much cheaper than taking the whole fancy Sky package and the box itself is only £9.99 - plus no contract.

rockm87

I understand. Hubster watches sky sports, and I have netflix on the laptop.

You have to reach a decision you are both comfortable with (including financially comfortable).

thriftylass

I agree with splitting bills according to income. Also if you're in a stable relationship, you paying off your debt should also be in his interest, although it's your debt. When we lived together but were not married yet be split the bills so both of us payed lets say 60% of each our income towards bills, food, electricity etc. So we both felt we paid our share in accordance with the money we brought home.

JasX

Personally I'm surprised by the rent arrangement one earns twice the others pay yet they add/subtract £10 on the rent front (perfectly fair so long as the rent is around £60 a month)... unless there is a 0 missing ?

I'd start taking a hard look at the %age of disposable incomes being put to bills -> not that you shoul daim for a hard fixed percentage but somewhere between where you are now and that is probably where you want to be.

getmore4less

One way is the lower earner decides what they want to contribute, you double it and that has to pay for everything.

If the higher earner wants nicer house or better sky or better holidays better meals out they pay the extra.