Would you let a friend help you pay your debts?

sourcrates

tgirl wrote: »

I managed to pluck up the courage and tell a friend about my debts and he has offered to loan me some money to pay them. I thought this would be better than totally messing up my credit file and doing a DMP. So far I have 1 default so if I can prevent more it may be better in the long run. My relationship has broken down and I may need a mortgage in future. I told the friend that I will pay back the loan in instalments when I get paid each month from work. The amount I need is 10k. I've never asked anyone for money before and it's a bit scary. I haven't told him the amount I need yet- just that I need help. Should I tell him a lesser amount or ask for the whole 10k? What would you do? I'm grateful for the offer but a bit worried.

No, don't do it, its a recipe for disaster, I doubt your friend is aware you are 10k in debt, he`s probably thinking more along the lines of a few hundred.
There have been numerous posts on this site about loans from friends that have turned sour, money and friendship rarely go hand in hand, decline politely, and look at other ways to reduce your reliance on credit.
Get some advice from National Debt line, that's a good place to start, forget about fantasy loans, sort the problem yourself, there are many and varied ways to do this, depending on your circumstances, it all starts with a phone call.


https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/Pages/default.aspx

CheesyWiggles

As a general rule I will lend family a three figure sum, or friends a two figure sum. The same has been true in reverse in the past. Neither figure would ruin a relationship in my opinion. A four figure sum could. A five figure sum would probably...

Annisele

Unless your friend is a multimillionaire (so £10k is pocket change to him), I don't think you should borrow from him.

Even if he is extremely rich, I don't think you should borrow without disclosing everything you can about your finances - including all your income, expenditure, and debts. With a commercial lender, you answer the questions they've asked. If you want money from a friend, I think you have a moral duty to be absolutely upfront about their chances of getting paid.

FBaby

I would say that it all depends on the reason why you got into debts in the first place and how good you are with money management. If you go into debts you can't manage any longer because you are bad with money and spending over all, then I would say definitely don't do it as the risk that you will get back into your bad habits are too high to risk not messing about again.

If however you got into debts because of something that happened that you had no control over, that you are now assured that the circumstances have changed, and you can trust yourself with managing your money, then I would go for it, but would ensure that the money came as a direct debit the same day than being paid.

MissLaura

10k is an awful lot to lend from a friend. No paperwork, no legal recourse, no structure. I'd decline as I think it's asking for trouble.

Monkeyballs

Totally agree with others on here, don't do it! That said, having a friend who knows your financial position can be a huge relief... Just don't borrow the money as you'll still be in debt, just this time to someone who can't afford you to not pay it back

As mentioned already, post an SOA so we can make suggestions on where to save money, etc.

If it comes down to going down the debt management route then so be it, it's not the end of the world and there is a lot of fantastic (free) help out there for you

MB

MadelinesMum

Hi, I would be unsure about borrowing from a friend. It could all go belly up if the friend needs the money back sooner than anticipated. If something did happen, like s/he had a new baby or decided to emigrate etc... I doubt you would be able to pay it all back immediately.

matttye

Depends.

If your friend is willing to lose £10k of his money and you're willing to lose your friendship then go for it.

If not, then don't. Inevitably things happen in people's lives that alter agreements such as this. Perhaps you'll get sick and tired of being skint all the time and decide that it's time for a holiday, but in the meantime your friend has stumbled upon hard times and needs the money now more than he did at first. Suddenly resentment builds just like that.

Personally I'd say no.

I leant a friend £500 when I had some inheritance. When my inheritance was gone and I was out of work and could really use the money, he was out buying TVs and stuff. I ended up resenting him and never got it back.

theoretica

What will happen if you fall ill and can't repay him as agreed? Borrow the odd tenner if you run out of food or fuel one month, or let him take you to lunch when you're down and can't afford to eat out - but I join the chorus for not borrowing a large sum.