Need to get myself together: The beginning

Hiddenidenity

The weather is horrid isn't it?!

I think everyone has a cold or have just had one! Seem's to be doing the rounds.

Have a lovely day x

[Deleted User]

Hope you feel better soon Monz, this cold is horrible.

Have a great day and wrap up warm xx

monz

Morning

Need advice. Its been pointed out to me my boy has started hitting if he gets really angry. I didnt believe it at first because I have seen him losing at games and being put out and he has been fine, until last night I saw first hand him doing this and believe me he got a right telling off and told no pocket money this week. What can I do, I feel me telling him off is not getting through to him. I told him before to walk away, count to ten think of something funny, I am seriously at a loss. Do I wait a few weeks ad try time outs and that (never done before - never had to) or should I try get to a doctor and see. He told me he just gets so angry and doesnt know why and I explained hitting doesnt solve it and think how other person feels. Need help I feel so ashamed and let my son down

VO is at £6.40 so will try get £7.50 by end of day. £8 if I am lucky

21 days until payday cc

JoJoC

Don't be ashamed - you sound like a great mum and we can't always 100% influence what our kids do!

I'd try to stay calm (i.e. don't shout at him as that's not really teaching him how to control anger) and maybe try every night to sit down and tlak about stuff, perhaps over dinner. Just make sure the lines of communication is open regularly so that he can open up if he wants to without pressure. Maybe see how he gets on over the next few weeks?

Also, have you considered something like Tae Kwon Do or karate? It's an effective way of releasing pent up aggression but in a controlled way?

monz

Hes top 3 in UK for tkd he goes 4 times a week lol

I feel bad I lost my temper with him, I was shouting him at him teling him off n that. i am so ashamed, told him that he will have no friends if he keeps this up n said school will be watching me if he keeps doing this n that. basically he will be scared they will take him away. i will have a big chat tonight n tell him not to worry about it all. night time will have no phone on me. jsut me n him time n talking time xxx

JoJoC

Oh wow! That's amazing that he's right up there with the best in TKD! My little one just started a few weeks ago

Don't feel bad or ashamed - we all have our moments where we look back and wish we didn't react in the way that we did. You might find that it's just a phase - just him trying to assert himself in a group of friends, or being confused or upset about something. It's always these things that it's the hardest to drag out of them! If they just knew that talking about it could help then i'm sure everything would be a lot easier solved.

I think it's a good idea to sit down tonight and go through everything - maybe try to let him tell you why it's not a good idea and how the other person would feel. Can you recall a time that someone did something similar to him or made him feel upset? Maybe bringing that up and discussing how he felt then will help him to empathise more with the people that he hits?

Sorry, i really have no clue, and my kids are younger than yours so I have no experience but just a few thoughts to get you started.

Try not to dwell on it too much - kids all go through phases of one thing or another. As long as you can work through it together and come out the other end, that's all that matters.

[Deleted User]

Afternoon Hun,

First of all, you're not a bad mum and you certainly do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I've lost count the amount of times I've shouted at my two for misbehaving.

Secondly, you are trying to raise you little man to turn out to be a gentleman and you are doing a fine job.

Does he constantly lash out? or just when he gets frustrated? It could be hormonal, depending on his age of course.

I agree with JoJo about having a chat with him, he may tell you if there are any problems at school etc. Don't back down on the pocket money thing though.

Big hugs xx

Hiddenidenity

I agree with Jojo and definitely don't feel ashamed, I think most kids do it. To be honest even as an adult some things push you that far, just hopefully as an adult we can understand the consequences better.

Also talking and letting him talk about it will help, my DS has someone at school he can talk too now because he said sometimes he wanted to tell me but didn't want me to worry or be upset! Which is something I'd never thought of before because he doesn't come across that way. So now the understanding is talk. Even if you don't want to tell me, tell another adult/teacher at school etc.

monz

He is 7 next month. cos he lost a game he was angry being put out n a boy went are you ok n he hit him. never saw him do this before. or if not getting his own way. hes so spoiled. but I am being stricter with him n having a chat tonight.

whos tkd instructor Jojo I know most I might know them xx

abba1772

Sorry to hear your wee one feels angry hopefully it's a wee stage he's going through xx

And your a fab mum btw xx