Advice required re.student daughter's allowance

Dolce75

Hi all, need some financial advice re.an issue we are having with my husband's daughter who is starting uni this month.
We are very unsure of what to give her, if anything, to help her financially.
Basically, my husband took out 2 trust fund policies for his daughter 17 years ago. The first of these has matured, but the amount in it has been concealed from us, by - let's just say, a most unpleasant ex wife. Working out our sums, we realise there will be at least £10,000 in this account, but that's the extreme least, and calculated without taking into consideration the interest accumulated.
The sole reason for taking out this policy 17 years ago was to help cover university costs.
My husband's daughter is going to uni at home and living in her mother and her mother's partner's home. She is not considering taking a part time job, will have all meals, laundry services, and basic home luxuries provided for her. She is not expected to make a contribution to the household.
With all this in mind, we are feeling at a great loss when considering whether to contribute further than the 17 years worth of policy funding that has already been invested. The lack of interest in taking on a part time job is against my own work ethic and greatly discourages us from simply providing her with more pocket money. She is 18 years old. In contrast, I put myself through uni, held down a job and paid my parents housekeeping during my time in the family home.
My husband's ex wife is using this to highlight my husband as a 'bad father' because he is less than willing to just hand over cash blindly, under these circumstances.
Does anyone have any ideas? We are worrying about this.
Thank you!

Indie_Kid

Have you sat down with your husband's daughter and discussed this? She's entitled to a student loan and possibly, a grant depending on household income. She may find that this is plenty to live on.

silvercar

What sort of loan/ grant will she get. This will be based on the income of the people she lives with, so her mother and mother's partner. If she will get a decent loan + grant, she will then have access to bursaries etc from the uni.

Taking a part time job depends on what course she is studying. Science based courses generally require more hours in uni and less time. Personally I prefer students to work in the holidays and study in term time.

JReacher1

Personally if I was contributing to a fund for 17 years I would be tempted to just carry on paying what I was paying but give it to my daughter directly for the next three years. I would be used to the money going out anyway so it's not that I would really miss it.

Sounds like she doesn't need to work if she's got over £10k in the bank and is living at home completely rent free.

theoretica

Surely as the daughter is now an adult the discussions should be with her. If she feels that she needs more than she has from the trust fund she should ask dad for it and discuss how much she needs and why she feels this is reasonable. Dad can counteroffer with whatever he sees fit - 'thats what the trust fund is for', 'car insurance so long as you maintain full no-claims', 'half your rent the first year you move out' or 'equal your earnings from employment up to X a year'. All sorts of options!

gettingtheresometime

If she's living rent free, and potentially has loans etc then why not have an adult conversation with her about the best way of using the money (or indeed investing it) ?

onlyroz

The trust fund money will be legally hers once she turns 18 to do with as she sees fit - even if she chooses to blow it away on rubbish. However, I can see why you'd want to factor this in when considering how much extra to give her to help her through her studies.

Is she intending on applying for a student loan to cover maintenance and tuition?

As another has suggested I'd be tempted to continue paying her whatever regular amount has been going into the trust fund. I personally would not want my kids having to work through university if I could afford for them not to - particularly if they are on a technical course with plenty of self-study required. For my course I had 22 timetabled hours plus probably as many again in self study. If I'd had to squeeze in a part-time job as well then I would have struggled.

sooty&sweep

Hi
Financially does your husband & / or ex wife need your step daughter to get a job & start contributing financially ?
I also worked whilst I studied my degree so I totally agree about a work ethic but as a mum I wouldn't want my children working all hours to contribute instead of focusing on their studies if I could comfortably afford to cover those costs.
However from the ex wife's position she'd end up supporting your step daughter totally. So I could understand her wanting / hoping for a contribution from your husband.

If the step daughter is a lazy so & so who doesnt understand the value of money then I'd be less inclined to contribute more than I needed to.
Jen

Dolce75

When my husband was planning ahead for his daughter's future many years ago, these trust funds were taken out (another one matures in 2.5 years) and the sole purpose of these was to cover university and/or provide a deposit for a house, i.e. the major expenses that a young person finds themselves met with in these days. These were taken out so she would always be provided for, despite any circumstance changes which may occur. My husband has since been medically retired from work and is receiving only a pension, which currently stands at only half his previous earnings.
In terms of uni subject, it is a science based degree and we are fully aware of the time commitment involved here, which is why, when we introduce the idea of taking on part time work, it was suggested that she does so during holiday periods or at the very most, a couple of hours a week during term time. It is more about encouraging her to be responsible and in actual fact, to see her trying to be that little bit more self sufficient would be the greatest encouragement to us to financially boost her further. There is no financial requirement for her to contribute to the household budget, that is something that we feel is more of a lesson in life, even if such a contribution was minimal. But in all truth, this is not high on the agenda of importance.
She has received a loan, covering fees and maintenance and since she is continuing to live at home with her mother, her living expenses, such as those accumulated by a student living away from home, will be zero.
As she is over 18, we have endeavoured to chat this out with her, as she is legally an adult and it is our intention to continue mediation with her, separate from her mother. However, we discover that she has withheld all financial information, possibly having been instructed to do so by her mother. (Much bitterness there). So, despite repeated attempts, we are no further on in understanding her incoming/outgoing financial condition.
Our main concern, and I am at pains to stress this point is that the account that my husband has maintained for 17 years was put in place so as now, as my husband is now older and as it happens, forced to take early retirement, the worry and concern for funding her through uni would be lifted. I feel she is in a most enviable position, having had this policy maintained for these years.
Thanks for all the replies.

BrassicWoman

Why are you posting for opinions and not your husband?

It's his problem to deal with... what is he saying and doing? We know a lot about *your* opinion...

Wyre

Two things - at present the trust fund must be held in someone else's name. Is it your husband's, his ex's or both? If his name is on there anywhere then get him to check with the bank himself.

Secondly, work. Yes, a work ethic is good BUT getting a couple of hours in the week during term time is not as easy as it sounds. Many companies want 8-12 hours. Your step-daughter is doing a tough degree. Personally, I would be happier if my daughter was NOT working term time and could focus entirely on her course. Getting a degree is not enough now, she needs a good degree. Suggest to her that she does agency work during the holidays to provide not only a bit of money but also a work history. That way she gets the best of both worlds.

I do hope she realises how lucky she is in having a Dad that thought so far ahead. I only wish my daughter's Dad would even think about contributing!