From Aloof with bells on.

Aloofdragon

Morning diary, I am up with the birds once again couldn't sleep this is no surprise as not slept in forever worrying about money and life in general.

Yesterday I admitted first to a complete stranger (payplan) my debts and hubbys debts, for the first time I admitted them to myself too. Oh what a mess I have got us into. Experian dug up debts I knew about, but also lots from being skint and on benefits as a teenager have completely vanished I don't suppose at 43 they would have still been on record.

Also admitted to a friend the mess I was in to a certain extent and she said she was two years into an IVA too sadly it seems lots are caught up in the same mess.

Payplan have drawn up a plan for us I will enter a DRO as have less debts and hubby will be on an IVA personally we both would have liked to have had an IVA so at least some of the cash wasted could have gone to debtors. But they know best and was so kind and non-judgemental on the phone I think I would have cried if she was any nicer. Now for the hard part gathering evidence etc and waiting for the poop to hit the fan, I am so scared about leaving all the minimum payments unpaid and moving banks but I guess if that is only way to regain my life it will have to be done.

A new bank account has been opened, most direct debits have been cancelled I have claimed the sky offer for a years free broadband etc, I have swapped gas and elec companies and gained £15 a month plus cash-back. I have contacted water board to have a payment card sent out so no further arrears added my rent and council tax have no arrears so all priority bills are met.
Budget wise I just haven't a clue where to start, I filled PP budget sheet in blind yesterday as can't remember the last time I actually stuck to a budget for anything but I have to start immediately as by the end of the month I will be in a new bank account with no overdraft. That is scary.

Through all the glumness this sounds really dramatical but at least we are now trying to put steps in place to re-pay debts and stop adding more weekly, and my main worry was my husband did't have a clue what sort of mess we were in now he does is that nasty sharing the burden with him ??
Hopefully now I can get a grip on my binge-eating and start to stick to slimming world I have been trying to start the ball rolling as didn't know who to go with etc and I have binged my way through so much rubbish I have to stop or I will be on the heart attack ward I am morbidly obese as it is so am trying to fight many wars but I am strong enough with help I hope.

Right to find some help through OS moneysaving board.

Aloofdragon

I now have a list of things to cancel, things to change over and people to ring.. I also have to hunt out details for payplan people tomorrow I have most to hand but 1 is from many years ago and don't know where to start...Things are still emotionally up in the air I am a pessimist at heart and know nothing is set in stone we could have it all go boobs up and end up with a dozen debtors chasing us but at the end of the day none are priority debts so not life or death threats yet ... haha..

This is where I always run full speed into the headlights planning my pennies to the last one of the month trying to stop ANY spending whatsoever trying to earn money from selling my soul etc but need to just take my time as I have 5 years of this if all goes well we cannot simply not live for five years my son would be 12 nearly a teenager he hasn't asked for this burden on his shoulders so although things obviously have to change we are going to live too.. A christmas earning challenge I have joined I have sold two items on Eb$y on the vast scale of things that is neither here nor there but I know I will go into meltdown promising not to spend a penny so going to allow myself the money I have earned to go into the gift pot.. It isn't a lot but it is a start.. the groceries is the next thing to tackle.. also cutting down on electric and gas used, heating is still off but we waste electric to a huge extent so we will clamp down on that this week and go from there...A huge declutter in my life as well as home is needed as going round in circles has left me totally upside down so this needs to be addressed over the next week too.. I am hoping by this time next week to have some sort of order in our home and half way there rejigging budget and direct debits etc..

1- Spending diary to be started today.
2- All receipts to be kept from everything.
3- Ring tax credits and child benefit with new bank details.
4- Make sure hubby takes bank details into work.
5- Order a t.v license payment card.
6- Ring housing and ask for new DD forms I think I will pay everything else on a card but rent and council tax can be DD so there is no threat of us falling behind with rent.
7- Finally nag hubby to have THAT natter with his ex regarding what is happening with their son he was going to work in a butchers with ex dad but fell in love lost interest and now has decided to go to college but he is making no effort to find a place or a job so we need to find out what is happening as child maintenance is still being paid at 17 his ex is on benefits her hubby working has cars paid for by disability is having 3+ holidays a year maintenance from 2 different men and where as we struggle to shop in primark she shops in next for all clothes aldis for us sainsburys for her .... yes I am more than a little evil.. I have no problem paying for my SS but would rather have the money in the debt pot to be honest if he is looking for work etc.. but thats a whole new story!!!.
thats for starters...

Seasidegal58

Good luck with your diary and the debt busting! Perhaps post a Statement of Affairs - lots of knowledgeable people on this board to give you advice.

Aloofdragon

Many thanks I will def do a SOA but maybe at end of the month when we know exactly what will be left in the kitty.

justjoda

Good luck x

Aloofdragon

Thankyou for your lucky wishes xx

Evening diary.. I have had an odd day I have had so much planned and achieved so little but the things I needed to do money wise are getting there...

Rang hmrc and changed bank details..
Rang tv license and requested a card but as we pay in advance we cannot have one ??? bonkers.
Swapped DD with rent and council tax...
Posted some ebay parcels off...
Hubby has taken bank details into work..
Spending diary started..
Food diary started day..

Had some luck on the selling front sold a bike from in the shed thats been gathering cobwebs for 8/9 years for £20 also a pile of old but good toys for another £20 got some dvd's being picked up for £25 and other bits for about £10 instead of buying xmas presents I am aiming to earn £132 to pay this months c.tax also earned extra £28 on Sunday in overtime also the £20 in paypal soooo getting there...o and returning a bra back to avon so another £5 in the pot...

I have had a nice day with DS as he had an inset day so not done the pondering online bit to waste money also enjoyed sorting through bills with hubby now that everything is out in the open I hope to start spending some quality time together rather than losing ourselves in factbook and him in his tablet games... funny thing is 2 of my closest friends are going through different aspects of exactly the same as we are one is really struggling financially and other is struggling timewise etc... Well diary I am off to find some more challenges to keep me out of trouble..

mum2one

Hi, just popped by to say hi, sounds like youve got some great plans there.

I dont know about you but the first time I spoke to an advisior, everything just came flying out, yet to be honest it felt amazing, just like a weight off my mind.

This may sound daft, but make sure you get some "me time", as your trying to balance everything, sort out paperwork, budgets, meal plans etc At least you have support from hubby.

Hopefully now, being back on track with the slimming world, your braver than me, its something I need to do, as each time I jump on the scales I keep expecting them to say "get off and weigh one person at a time".... can't help it if I happen to be about 3ft too short for me weight!! xx

Aloofdragon

Awww thanks mum2one I have lurked for many a year on MSE and feel like a bit of a stalker lol I follow the xmas threads etc so know all of your jollys to the icecream parlour, your many hols and your amazing advice and caring ways to all and sundry on here.

Hiyas diary this week has been an odd one so far I really hurt my knee whilst moving furniture so hobbling and swallowing painkillers like no tomorrow at the mo, got the house lovely and quiet hubbys popped to a pubquiz I can't remember the last time he went out apart from work so it's nice for both of us lol The mad dog isn't happy tho she's pacing bless her... I have spent quite a while reading amazing diaries and more I read the more I am wondering if we can sort this mess out ourselves ?? My debts apart from credit union loan of £1400 which is only being paid back at £16 a month 2 are very old catalogue debts which we may get a letter off Lowells think they both total £700 and send one letter every few months offering a reduced payment if we clear it, and an over-payment from tax credits of over a £1000 but they're taking it off us in small amounts.. my credit rating is naffed anyway and to be perfectly honest I am completely done with shopping and credit.. so although there is quite a few pounds of debt there there is nothing causing a problem...

Hubbys(mostly racked up by me ) are 2 credit cards totaling £2,200, argoscard £1000, and barclayloan of £6,111 plus a bit of an overdraft we don't have no priority debts to speak of and have not defaulted on any of hubbys yet we have opened a new bank account and in process of sorting d/d etc from end of month pay going in...

We had our letters of payplan this morning to fill in myself for a DRO to clear mine and for hubby to start an IVA of £130 a month soooooooooooo do we fill forms in diary or do we try and get ourselves out of this mess it will be me doing most of sorting mainly as I ran most of it up, it does feel really naughty just upping sticks from Barclays to Lloyds and defaulting on them all but to be honest we are maxxed out on c/c and living in overdraft so don't really know where to start. oooo what to do eh...

Will sit down and have one final chat with hubby in the morning and see what we can sort.. Xmas is sorted so no real expense either way for foreseeable future plus hubby has the chance to move up in place of work will payplan then take his extra pay completely as within 5 years debts would be gone anyway...

Aloofdragon

Spending diary going well logging everything, have sold bits to total of £80 so far this week plus a few bits on ebay so goes to prove money can be earn't ... The food diary also going well..

mum2one

just a thought re hubby and if he has a payrise, - I'm with stepchange, if my money changes, I just look at updating my budget, so I might have £30 a month more, but bills increase, gas, elec, phone etc, maybe your need some smarter clothes, petrol goes up, so in reality when you look at the budget, you may well find that any increase soon gets eat up in lifes spends,

Thank you for the kind words... holidays, still trying to toddle off, thou with DD at secondary school my wings are clipped for a bit! xx

Aloofdragon

Morning diary, had a natter with hubby this morning we are in too deep to dig out of the hole ourselves so going to move forward with payplan at least if the debtors refuse we have tried to sort it out.. WE HAVE A FOLLOW UP CALL NEXT THURSDAY to give us a week to sort payslips etc statements n such..

Knee is absolutely killing intended resting it but have had people knocking n phone ringing all day now sat down with a cuppa... have checked bank the overdraft is as high as we have ever had it so no more spending out of it whatsoever... Or we may be penniless next month if anything goes boobs up with transferring money etc.. Freezer, cupboards are full fridge is fine til at least Sunday we have some money put aside so will use that rather than stealing anymore which is how it feels taking it knowing it will be years til we pay it back... I don't think we have anything else to pay for apart from school dinners and topping up electric.

Today I am going to set a realistic budget for everything fill forms in for DRO and then relax for the evening and do family stuff for a change instead of hunting for answers that are def not online only we can sort this mess out tho.

Dietwise by lunchtime syns are gone but had good brek, made a fab light lunch and will keep on plan for tea all from stock .
Another NSD here well real cash anyway..
I have a voucher that needs using from Mat4lan I just dont know whether to pick up undies and jamas for DS for Xmas or buy a few bits for kitchen that we need.

My job for this afternoon is to do a complete list of exactly whats in freezer cupboard etc I must start doing a meal-plan think its time to join in on a few of the food challenges may be a bit late in month to join but have followed them lurking on and off for years.
Also need to get some sort of thoughts together for Christmas and birthdays savings as lots of this debt is down to not being prepared..

Lot's to be getting on with.