Second Time Lucky

debtfreeoneday

I'm the same here with a horrible bathroom! Mine is really special with ripped wallpaper, cracked bath panel, holes in the tiles.. sigh.

Sorry to hear the trip to the beach didn't end well. Hope you had fun prior to that!

in_need_of_direction

It was the first thing we did when we moved in here. We moved in at the end of November. One Christmas party too many meant the burnt orange bathroom suite had to go. Talking to god on the great white telephone is bad enough but on an orange one!

amycool

Some evening ponderings...

The damp is back. We're gutted as we spent so much money and endured so much stress to get it fixed. For now, we've decided to live with it. We're going to put the roof vent back in (originally thought water was getting in there so tiled over) and move the room vent to the top, then paint over the stains. There's no way DD would cope with having to move rooms and as the damp is caused by hygroscopic salts, it isn't dangerous (mould can't grow in it). I'm naturally very anxious so keep panicking that the house will fall down.

On to more positive things...

I have a plan. The aim is to get some of my life back. For the past year (2 years really as the assessment was so intense) my life has revolved entirely around adoption and most of my hobbies have fallen by the wayside. With DD going back to school tomorrow, I don't want to get back into the habit of pottering around the house all day. I have a colossal to do list to contend with, but alongside getting caught up with the boring stuff I want to do actual activities! :rotfl:

So, firstly I am going to attempt to download the couch to 5k running podcast onto my new mp3 player and I'm going to run on Tuesdays, Thursdays and then either run or cycle on Saturdays. I have tried and failed to get back into running on numerous occasions so hopefully the podcast will make it more fun. I am very prone to injury due to my medication so 2-3 times a week is more sensible than the 3-5 times I used to do.

Secondly, I'm going to force OH to finally apply for a Leisure card as then we can start going swimming (it's about £1.50 cheaper with the card). Sunday mornings at 9am we are all going swimming. I think it'll be about £7.20 a time. Well worth it if DD learns to swim and OH and I get a bit fitter. DD loves swimming so she will be happy.

Thirdly, I'm going to book a driving lesson. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will be driving lesson days once I find an instructor I like.

Fourthly, I'm dying to get some knitting done. I have tried to knit whilst DD is home but it doesn't work. "Are you nearly done?", "When will you be finished?" "It takes a long time doesn't it?" "I had hoped you would have finished by now" on repeat. I started a Barbie jumper the other day but even when it's for her she can't cope with the tortoise-like speed that I knit. So first I shall finish said jumper then decide which project to pick up. I have a lace shawl on the go, a crochet blanket, a tank top (doubt this will ever be finished!) and a single sock that needs a partner.

In house long term plan news,

We're thinking before we start any updating that we should get the electrics checked. I have a horrible suspicion that a full re-wire will be needed and I'd rather get it out of the way before spending any money on nice things. We also need said electrician to fit the chandelier (that I won years ago) and fix the burglar alarm (that goes off quite a lot).

Next will be the bathroom and we'll need an extractor fan and hopefully some wall lights, which should go smoothly with the nice safe electrics.

Once the bathroom is complete and paid for, we'll start saving for the living room. We need a new hearth and fire surround (ours is pebble dashed!!!!), all the anaglypta wallpaper stripping off and either sanding or skimming the walls, new curtains, new lampshade, new sofa and chair, and lots of solid shelving fixed to the walls, which we'll get a handyman to do as we've never successfully put up a shelf in our lives. The carpet is fine for a good few more years.

I can't imagine ever being able to afford any more, but one day in the far future we want to knock the kitchen and dining room through, brick up the kitchen door and put double doors in the dining end to the conservatory, then get a new kitchen. We also need new windows at the front.

We still want to overpay 50% of any money we have left each month so I might be old and grey by then but we'll have a lovely house all paid for!

Ponderings over. Bedtime. School tomorrow!

amycool

My mood can be summed up by the following sentence: I am sat eating a whole packet of Bourbon biscuits.

The week started really well but has got worse and worse. DD is struggling so badly this week (not due to school but being there without me isn't helping) and that resulted in an "incident", which now means one of the other mums is annoyed that I haven't punished by grieving devastated daughter. This all happened whilst OH was away so I spent last night and this morning crying.

In other rubbish news, I finally booked a driving instructor and I have a lesson today but I have no confidence at all that he'll be any good. I've spoken to him twice on the phone and he seems really doddery and not at all organised, which is what I wanted. I'm annoyed because I booked through a driving school and told them exactly the kind of instructor I wanted. This chap has now asked for directions to my house twice, so how is he going to guide me around the local streets??!! I'll then have the awkward situation of having to say he isn't right for me and that's £24 wasted.

Some better news - I have now done 2 "runs". It's week one of the couch to 5k so it's mostly brisk walking, and it nearly killed me both times. I shall be repeating this week at least once until my fitness improves. This isn't being helped by eating lots of biscuits.

In rat news - they're a bit quieter since DD went back to school. During the holidays they were up and about for at least an hour in the morning but now we can only tempt them out for food and they go back to bed. I hope they're not ill as OH starts his new job next week and won't be able to get time off for vet visits.

At least it's nearly the weekend.

Treated us to a chippy tea last night as me and DD are so low. I always forget that neither of us can manage even a small portion of chips - should have bought one between us.

debtfreeoneday

Think the first few weeks are always hard getting back into routine and it's a big change for any child to go from summer back into School with sooo much work! I had a letter home about 'homework expectations' -I hurumphed at it and flung it in the bin, every single weekend homework will be issued!!)

Keep chin up and well done for booking the lesson. The chap may be Ok!

amycool

I feel really ill today, but I have so much to do!

So,

Driving lesson - he wasn't as bad as I had expected but I still didn't feel 100% comfortable with him. He was a bit too anxious (every time I went above 20mph!) and I'm already anxious enough on my own. I felt quite rubbish about how rusty my driving was and I'm dreading looking for another instructor so I'm just going to put it to one side for a few days. I had considered asking the driving school for someone else but they were quite rude when I spoke to them so I will try somewhere else. I could do with practising in a simulator for a bit just to remind myself of the basics without the added stress of other people!

Exercise - it's going well. My lung condition is pretty bad at the moment so I'm essentially out of breath from the moment I leave the house. The week 1 plan is consequently at the very limit of what I can manage. But I have managed it 3 times and I am happy to stick with week 1 for as long as I need to. It's hard though when it's getting more difficult rather than easier! The last one I decided to do laps around the park, which was a terrible idea! 15 laps is very very boring and I had to keep running past the same gang of lads!

We took DD swimming on Sunday and with the leisure passes it was only £7 for the 3 of us. The pool was packed though, which made it hard. I only did 4 full lengths and then lots of little bits with DD, who was doing brilliantly. She was starting to swim on her back and she can doggy paddle about 5 metres. I might try a different pool next time but I expect they're all very busy at the weekend.

School - they have a new plan in place for DD, which will hopefully help her. She told my mum at the weekend that she doesn't like school or her new teacher and that she only likes "womans". Hopefully it'll just take time. At least she went in with no tears today.

Jobs I have done -

Photographed the running machine for ebay
E-mailed the boiler service man
Collected my prescription (again - it wasn't in last week)
Got leisure cards
Bought DD outdoor PE kit and new pumps as she waited until this week to tell me the Velcro has gone.
Ordered my yearly prescription card

Jobs to do -

Put running machine on ebay
Get boiler serviced
Take stuff to the tip
Book dentist appointment
Finish knitting Barbie jumper
Put clothes away
Ironing

I think that's enough for now. I find long lists terrifying.

In other news, OH started his new job today (not heard from him so he must be busy) and I've just found out my father has cancer. He left when I was 9 and has made zero effort to keep any relationship going. He also changed my grandmother's will so we were cut out completely so a bit of a nasty piece of work. His girlfriend is now trying to guilt trip my brother into seeing him but seeing as he showed no interest during the many times of hardship we have all faced, I feel no guilt. It's still weird, thinking of your dad possibly dying (survival rates are low but they caught it very early). It has actually triggered grief for a friend who died last year but as DD had just come home we had no time to grieve at the time.

Hoping this week gets better!

Fortune_Smiles

Hi Amy

sorry to hear you're under the weather and have had the difficult news about your dad. I really identify with you on this one. My father left us when we were five and didn't keep in contact. We had very unhappy lives as a result. He tried to get in touch a number of times when we were adults but it was too late for me by then. I was grown up enough to realise that he was not a very nice person and not someone I would choose to have in my life. I have often wondered how I would feel if he died and have come to the conclusion that I'd feel exactly as I would for any other stranger.

Don't be guilt-tripped into doing anything that doesn't sit easy with you. Just do what you need to make sure you're ok with everything.

Family isn't the blood you carry - it's who you love and who loves you back.

Fortune x

debtfreeoneday

On the flipside, I was estranged from my father for 10 years or so and I always said if it got to the point where I'd regret it if something happened to him I'd get in touch and after 10 years I did.

My mother, well that's a whole other story!

amycool

Fortune - My father has done some pretty rotten things over the years and I'll never forget the nights we sat waiting for hours for him to come and pick us up and he'd either not turn up or arrive drunk. I really have to struggle to conjure up even one nice memory of him. He also drink drives (every day) and I went through a period of hoping that if he crashed nobody else would be killed. It's weird though as my sister thinks she would visit him if he was dying (if anything she was treated even worse than me) and my brother (who I don't have any contact with) seems positively chummy with him. My other brother feels the same as me, but I guess we lived with him less as we're the youngest.

dfod - I did try to get back into contact with him when I was about 19 but he replied a month later saying he was too busy to see me, unless I wanted to meet at a pub (he's an alcoholic). Alcohol has always come before his family. Sorry to hear you have a tricky relationship with your mum. Families are hard work aren't they?

I am feeling very stressed today. Another incident at school yesterday and the child involved (DD wasn't the main perpetrator of said incident but she was part of it) was crying all evening. His mum is now being very off with me and we were quite good friends. I've tried to explain that DD's logical brain is not currently being engaged due to the very high levels of stress she's experiencing but I don't think she understands. This morning I found DD trying to smash the very expensive framed school photo. Lots of tears yesterday (hers not mine).

In other stressful news, the gift we ordered for my sister in law's wedding (they're currently not speaking to us as we won't make the 8 hour round trip to the venue with a distressed child), which is beautiful and expensive and personalised, has got lost in the post.

Oh well. Let's look at the to-do list:

Jobs to do -

Put running machine on ebay - done - already got a bid of £25 - hooray!
Get boiler serviced - got it booked in for next week
Take stuff to the tip - can't do until the weekend
Book dentist appointment - still not done as we have 5 appointments next week :eek:
Finish knitting Barbie jumper - not even started
Put clothes away - done
Ironing - done

I've also cut out the fabric for my lampshade makeover. We bought an old standard lamp from ebay for £5 a few years ago with a very old-fashioned shade. I got a fabric bundle a few months back, which had some really cool fabric in but it's a weird texture so I wasn't sure what to do with it. Well, I'm going to buy a glue gun at the weekend and re-cover the shade. I watched a video of how to do it but I imagine it's going to be harder than it looks.

I might also have enough for a cushion cover.

Other things that need doing:
Get roof man to put vent back into roof
Book an electrician to check electrics and fit chandelier
Sort out a gift for Saturday's party
Contact Mum of said party boy to check that it definitely lasts 2.5 hours
Prepare ourselves for a 2.5hr birthday party and think of an exit strategy as DD definitely will not cope

Pushkin

Hi Amycool - I am feeling quite exhausted just reading your updates & stress. It never rains but it pours huh! Hope things start improving and that maybe you can get some me time soon in order to do whatever you like to do to unwind.