confessed my credit card debt to husband

bluebird19

Hi everyone
I finally told hubby after months of hiding this from myself- and him, that I have racked up 9k in credit card debt.
It started when on matty leave, just living beyond our means, then a few emergency things like car breakdowns etc. Stupidity.
II have nothing really to show. I am ashamed and disappointed but I am now ready to tackle this head on.
I wish I had told him sooner.
I have told him he is to take charge of all my finance and just give a cash budget as I cannot be trusted and I am appalled I have done this to my family in such a reckless way.
Im working an extra day from aug and child a starts school so this will hopefully free some money to throw at the debt.
I have just cleared my od and going to close my acc and open one with no od facility also as that was becoming an issue.
My husband is being amazing. I dont expect him to rescue me but he is supporting me by writing an action plan and seeing how we can cut things etc.
I was terrified he would leave me. I have promised no more secrets. We will hopefully be stronger as a couple after we weather this storm.

livingindreamland

Well done for owning up, carrying the worry must have been horrible. The shoe was on the other foot with me, It was my husband that ran up the debt (whilst I just buried my head in the sand) I sort of knew we where living well above our means.


Please do a SOA, and my other piece of advice is don't let him take control of all the finances, but sit down weekly/monthly and go over them together.

bluebird19

Thank you. Is there a link for an soa you can recommend?

sourcrates

bluebird19 wrote: »

Thank you. Is there a link for an soa you can recommend?

There you go :


http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Karen777

well done on taking this step - must have been hard. good luck with the next steps. people on here are very helpful.

getting-sorted-sarah

Well done Bluebird! What a big step you have taken! :T I agree with Livingindreamland, you are a grown up, not a child, so don't hand everything over to your husband, work together as a team (it sounds like you have a strong team:D), so that you learn to manage money better. It isn't something you are born knowing how to do - we all have to learn! Lots of luck!
S x

On_my_way

Well done for telling him - surely it wasn't a shock to him that you were both living above your means? As your husband and the father to your childrne he should be supporting you too which he obviously is so that's good.

jodles16

Just wanted to say well done for sharing this, its the first step and shows that you want to change things! Perhaps it feels easier to hand over all control to hubby, but as the others said doing it together will feel better ultimately. There are lots of forums on her for doing saving and debt free challenges that could be useful, they include survey pages like onepoll.com who pay you to do surveys!

However you decide to do this I want to wish you the best of luck!

Jodles

tlc678910

I agree with getting-sorted- don't hand everything over, work together.

Some of the things you put on the card you mention like car repairs are very difficult to handle if the money is not available. I have certainly kept credit card spending to myself at times to try to protect my husband from financial stresses if for example the car insurance is due and we don't have the cash. If you rid yourself of the responsibility you could be putting your partner in this position. Perhaps not all your spending was totally selfless but I'm sure some of it was and for that I don't think you should feel guilty.

Start sitting down together to plan your expenses and budget. Maybe check out the free trial of the YNAB software to see if it works for you as a tool to plan together.

Good luck

bluebird19

Thank you all for your helpful words of support.
Onwards and upwards. I feel ready to start working hard to do this for me and my family and to fix this mess I have created.
Money diary, new account and soa done today. I will do this. Thank you everyone.