CSA or private arrangement

sweetiepie10

Hi all,

this is my first post, so be gentle with me:)

My ex and I agreed on a child maintenance payment privately of £ 50/ week (we have two children).However, some weeks he pays, others he does not (more not of course:mad: ) and I am considering going through the CSA instead (which in theory should also work out at £ 50/week) to avoid the constant hassle of having to chase him for the money.

The problem is that he is self employed, does not do his tax returns (why he is not chased for it I simply do not understand) and has various banks after him for his debts (£ 75K +) already. He also has a drug problem and when he has bad weeks (as he calls it) the money he earns goes straight up his nose.

From experience, would you say it is worth the aggrevation it would cause / would I even stand a chance to get any money through the CSA?
I would be very grateful for any advice:p

TheWaltons_3

sweetiepie10 wrote: »

Hi all,

this is my first post, so be gentle with me:)

My ex and I agreed on a child maintenance payment privately of £ 50/ week (we have two children).However, some weeks he pays, others he does not (more not of course:mad: ) and I am considering going through the CSA instead (which in theory should also work out at £ 50/week) to avoid the constant hassle of having to chase him for the money.

The problem is that he is self employed, does not do his tax returns (why he is not chased for it I simply do not understand) and has various banks after him for his debts (£ 75K +) already. He also has a drug problem and when he has bad weeks (as he calls it) the money he earns goes straight up his nose.

From experience, would you say it is worth the aggrevation it would cause / would I even stand a chance to get any money through the CSA?
I would be very grateful for any advice:p

If he isn't filing accounts.. the CSA could send you a letter saying NIL assessment, which would perhaps please him greatly. This is because he is probably/could be running his business at a loss - which many people do as they still reap benefits AND pocket the cash.

You could try and scare him with the CSA, he may know the horror stories.. but then you could also upset him and cause him to have more 'bad weeks' thus snorting more !!!!...

Be careful how you approach this, you don't want to lose out for your kids sakes

kelloggs36

If he doesn't comply with the CSA they would go to the tax office, but they won't get anywhere if there aren't any accounts. He will be visited more than likely and can basically say whatever he likes in terms of what he earns and they would have to believe him. So if he said he earned £150 a week, then this is what they would use! You would more than likely get zilch.

aussiesbird

Why don't you ask him to set up a direct debit so that you don't have to remind/ask him for the money. If I were in your position I would try not to get the CSA involved.

Ronnietink

Oh sweetiepie..U sure we haven't got the same OH :rotfl:

Only one difference bein, my ex OH's money goes over the bar at his local!
what I really can't understand is how do they get away with not paying their tax's etc...y aren't the IR acting on info given to them about these people?? & how do they manage to go thro life stinking of roses!!!:mad:

I have always worked since leaving school...have jst paid over £2000 to sort out contact agreement thro court so HE can see our son! (now kick myself somewhat for this tho! but at the time I thought I was doing what was best for my little man) solicitor is not interested in sorting out maintenance payments as they can only be verbally agreed thro them they have suggested CSA, however I don't really stand a chance of getting a penny!

meantime he jst continues buying our son! (latest contact he came home with 3 games for psp!) how does that help towards afterschool care or new school shoes!

Sorry rant over...

If you are able to speak to him I would go with aussiesbird's suggestion. maybe even an account in childs name (you could 'sell' it to him by saying that way he would always have proof of maintenance payments etc)

Anyway good luck n let us know how u get on

X R
:A

master99

sweetiepie10 wrote: »

Hi all,

this is my first post, so be gentle with me:)

My ex and I agreed on a child maintenance payment privately of £ 50/ week (we have two children).However, some weeks he pays, others he does not (more not of course:mad: ) and I am considering going through the CSA instead (which in theory should also work out at £ 50/week) to avoid the constant hassle of having to chase him for the money.

The problem is that he is self employed, does not do his tax returns (why he is not chased for it I simply do not understand) and has various banks after him for his debts (£ 75K +) already. He also has a drug problem and when he has bad weeks (as he calls it) the money he earns goes straight up his nose.

From experience, would you say it is worth the aggrevation it would cause / would I even stand a chance to get any money through the CSA?
I would be very grateful for any advice:p

lets look at the evidence your x is already in debt and doing what he can to survive and all you want to do is to make things worse by begging csa to beg money for you. get real you should be lucky he is giving you anything he gives you what he can give the guy a break. if you go to the csa you will regret it. and your x will lose contact with you and your son simply bcos it cost to much to even be known where the nrp is. you should be greatfull he even giving you money some women dont get nothing. get a job

going2die_rich

Can you manage to persuade him to set up a standing order on his account so that you get it on a set date? Even if he doesn't have the money it'll just be sent out and make him overdrawn which is his problem not yours.

going2die_rich

master99 wrote: »

lets look at the evidence your x is already in debt and doing what he can to survive and all you want to do is to make things worse by begging csa to beg money for you. get real you should be lucky he is giving you anything he gives you what he can give the guy a break. if you go to the csa you will regret it. and your x will lose contact with you and your son simply bcos it cost to much to even be known where the nrp is. you should be greatfull he even giving you money some women dont get nothing. get a job

You sound like you are the ex? lol. You in a similiar situation with your ex throwing you out and now you have to pay maintenance as you sound very bitter about it? - should have worn a condom shouldn't you or have been a better man, you stupid prat!

To the OP, he's sounds like someone who's on his way to being an addict, so the money is better in your hands to spend on the children than up his nose. Maybe he wont be able to afford a "bad day" to get high in the first place. So really, you are doing him a favour by taking his money, lol

My advice, take the money through the csa, even if master99 is right and you lose contact with the ex, it sounds like it might be a good thing rather than have your kids around anyone using drugs.

kelloggs36

Master is just a master troll - trip trap, trip trap... who's that trip trapping over my bridge should be his name!!!!

aussiesbird

master99 wrote: »

lets look at the evidence your x is already in debt and doing what he can to survive and all you want to do is to make things worse by begging csa to beg money for you. get real you should be lucky he is giving you anything he gives you what he can give the guy a break. if you go to the csa you will regret it. and your x will lose contact with you and your son simply bcos it cost to much to even be known where the nrp is. you should be greatfull he even giving you money some women dont get nothing. get a job

Why don't you read the posts properly and with an open mind master99? You have obviously been hard done by by an ex and their are many out there like you but that is no reason to tar every woman with the same brush. This NRP happens to be a drug user who is heavilly in debt and already breaking the law by not declaring income for tax purposes and you want the mother of his child to for-go money she is entitled to have to help raise THEIR child and "give him a break". Get real!!
This NRP needs to get straight and realise he has responsibilities more important than the s**t his sticks up his nose and start acting like a REAL man. I've changed my mind OP, go to the CSA and get him paying regularly. Not only will you be doing good for your child but hopefully it will make him see sense and stop acting like a total p***k!

sweetiepie10

Thank you very much for all your good advice. Apparently he is now being taken to court by a few banks because of his debts so he does not have any bank accounts left - but even if he did, they would not have any money in it anyway so DD would be useless.

I will leave the CSA alone for now (unless he ever gets an employed job) it does not seem to be any use and try and be grateful for the weeks he does give me money,

by the way, Master 99: the money is for the kids not for me!

First of all I do not have a son but two girls and second of all I DO work - full time, am the office, pm I spend time with the kids and when they have gone to bed I work until 11pm to make up the hours to get to full time! So, please don't seriously expect me to give my ex a break - he WANTED kids, he has 50% parental responsibility (by LAW) and I don't think asking him to pay £ 200 a month for two kids that are still in nappies is too much to ask!

Just glad nobody else seems to agree with MASTER99!

Thanks again everyone, you really helped me making my mind up:T