Pregnant & stressed

Feebow

I'm due to go on maternity leave in 6 wks time to have my second child.
I'm stressing out about all the debt me and my hubby have built up over the last 5 years. It's around £20k and we have nothing to show for it.

I'm gutted - when I think about it, the amount we are paying out on our new personal loan could be what we could spend on a new home etc and I feel like I've ruined our children's lives.

We've taken our last loan with the bank - i swear this time!

Feeling depressed and worried about maternity leave.

Wanted to join this forum as part of my fresh start & also to get tips on becoming truly debt free! I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

Any tips will be more than appreciated.
xxxx

longtermplanner

You have taken out a consolidation loan? Have you closed down the cards that you cleared? If not do so. If you don't you will be tempted to use them again and that way disaster lies.

Can you afford the debt repayments whilst you are on maternity leave? If not you need to face up to the situation and decide what to do.

The bast place to start is by drawing up a Statement of Affairs and posting it here - this is the calculator we like people to use: http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

You'll get a lot of comments. Some you may not like, some you may think are irrelevant, but there may be some that either change the way you think about your finances or actually save you money! It's well worth it.

The next thing to do is to get serious about budgeting. I am a fan of YNAB and so are a lot of people around here. It's not free but it's a great bit of oftware that can make all the difference between a budget being a bit of wishful thinking and an active tool that puts you in control.

Avogirly

Hi Feebow,

Hello and welcome! As a fellow preggers person I know how worrying it can be thinking about how to juggle mat leave and debt. When is baby due? I'm due at the end of August.

I'm sure those with better know how than me will be along with a million and one suggestions to help you, but I just wanted to stop by to say this is the best place to get help.

I reckon your best starting point is to post a full statement of affairs, so that we can look to see if there are any immediate savings or changes that can be made.

Stick around, start a diary, read up and you'll do ok. Hugs xxx

Feebow

Thanks guys
I'm due early September so not far behind you avogirly!

I've buried my head in sand long enough & I think it'll do me good to hear a few stern words!

Thanks for the links longtermplanner. I've had a loan agreed but nothing signed yet. As all borrowing with same bank, conditions of loan are to close cards etc so cannot repeat the error of my ways.

Looking forward to being debt free - it seems light years away!

worriedwilf

You definitely haven't ruined your kids lives!! You kids need love, warmth and happiness - these are all things that you can provide. I was over 30K in debt but it didn't affect my 3 year old son whatsoever. In many ways it had made me a BETTER parents as the expensive days out were replaced with days in the park or going to walks etc. Kids have no concept of money so don't beat yourself up

dizzybuff

Okay fistly hello and welcome .


Secondly well done for facing upto it .


Thirdly you havnt ruined your kids lives you have taken that step to show them what is right.


Why not try and start up a little home business whist your at home, jam making , soap making , sewing, start small (very small) then use profit to buy resouces.


I have a friend who make pickles and jams, she started very small whilst on mat leave , and guess what shes just left work five years later to set up shop . Ill miss her piccalilli.


Good luck , look on the old style boards to get money saving ideas , now is the time to become frugal . Its so much fun..


Dizz x

Feebow

Thank you so much for your kind words worriedwilf & dizzybuff.
This is, & has got to be, a fresh start. xxxx

retepetsir

Good luck and get that SOA posted

A consolidation loan isn't always the answer so I wouldn't sign anything until you've completed your SOA!

dorothyjeffery

if you go to the citizens advice people, they will help you, and its free. they will write letters/contact creditors etc on your behalf and arrange an affordable repayment.

in the meantime, the ways to save money/make food go further etc on here, its amazing. saved me a fortune. and check you are on the cheapest options for utilities/car insurance.....its amazing what you can cut back on when you really have to.

cmcavon

I'm in a similar position although baby not due until March, I'm only 6 weeks.

We've taken the momentous decision to go down the IVA route. Our debt is just over £20k.

I'm scared to death and was planning on DMP but the IVA was our best option and once it's all set up (fingers crossed its approved) there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.