Debts to a friend

gra123

Hello there,

Just after a little advice regarding my siutation if possible?

Long story short I got into a mess 12 months ago and I'm now back on track regarding what I owe creditors - I came to an agreement with them 12 months ago to pay reduced amounts and I've not missed a payment since.

My problem is I still owe a friend money and I don't know the best way to tackle this.

I owe him over £2,000 (it was £5,000 but I've been paying 4 figure sums each pay day since the start of the year with a smaller payment the last 2 months).

I know I'm in the wrong as I'm the one who owes the money and I accept that but I'm starting to get threats now of telling parents and home visits, I get about 20 text messages a day and numerous calls/answerphone messages which is causing me stress. He's been asking me to get loans, which I can't or to borrow from my parents which I can't.

I'll happily pay off what I owe, which I have been doing, but if I keep paying huge sums each month I end up borrowing from my Mum to get me through the month for things like petrol and food.

I'm just after suggestions/advice if possible? I desperately want to pay him off but I don't want to beg from my mum anymore and having no money for even the basics is getting me down.

Can I just ask what you would do in a similar situation as it's getting close to pay day again and the calls/texts have started again (they'll get more frequent the closer to Friday it gets)

Regards

sourcrates

Hi there, is this a "friend" or a loan shark purporting to be a friend ?
It sounds like the latter to me, given the extent of calls/texts/threats etc you say you are receiving.


Can you confirm if my description is correct or not before any further advice is offered.

gra123

Thanks for the reply.

I promise he's a friend. All my official debts have been sorted with reduced payments via stepchange but as this is a personal debt I didn't put it in my debt management plan with stepchange.

sourcrates

gra123 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

I promise he's a friend. All my official debts have been sorted with reduced payments via stepchange but as this is a personal debt I didn't put it in my debt management plan with stepchange.

Ok, well that does make it awkward for you i`m sure, you need to explain to him/her that you do want to repay the debt, but you also need money to live on, try and agree a payment you can afford.
Also get a new sim card for your phone, one less way to hassle you .


Depends weather this friend wants to be reasonable or not.

gra123

Thanks. I have blocked his number on my phone so he can't call/text for now.

I am happy to discuss with him and have been paying a lot over the last 4-5 months it's just the threats that get to me.

elsien

What was the agreement when you first borrowed the money from the (soon to be ex) friend re paying it back? Have you stuck it or was he expecting to be repaid sooner?

gra123

We never had an agreement in place -he puts pressure on me so I tell him what I think he wants to hear (promising him more money than I get).

I guess I should have been more assertive at the outset and not promise to pay back cash I can't afford all in one go.

BillJones

gra123 wrote: »

Thanks. I have blocked his number on my phone so he can't call/text for now.

That's really not going to help placate them...

What was your original deal with them?

Ilona

Hi. I think you should consider telling your parents yourself, then tell him to go ahead with his threats as they already know. Then tell him how much you are going to pay him, and stop calling him your friend, because he isn't any longer.
Ilona

Idiophreak

Out of interest, how did you manage to set up a deal with stepchange that leaves you with enough money to pay a friend £1000+/month?

If he's really a friend, you need to sit him down, chat and explain what the problem is, how much you can afford to repay him when and then *stick to it*. Your "telling him what he wants to hear" clearly isn't working. What he wants to hear is when he'll get his money - just tell him honestly, otherwise you're just messing him around.

If he's really not taking it, it's time to fess up to your parents and get some help. I'm sure they'd rather help you out once and have it settled than have you coming month after month for a hundred here, a couple of hundred there...

gra123

Idiophreak wrote: »

Out of interest, how did you manage to set up a deal with stepchange that leaves you with enough money to pay a friend £1000+/month?

The money I was left over with - board, petrol, food money etc I gave him. That's why I've been begging from my parents because stepchange left me with an amount for costs of living and I've been giving him that

I know I'm in the wrong and I'm more than happy to talk/come to an agreement but he isn't interested - he just hounds me with threats/texts/calls. Also, it's not as if I have ignored him. I've paid him £3,000 since Jan to get it down from 5k to 2k. I just can't handle another 2-3 months of giving him everything and not having a penny left to live on