Trying to be good

emmigrant-immigrant

Hi All

I have been a member of this site for a while now, but haven't really participated, however I have now decided the time has come to really try and get on top of life and try to save some hard earned pennies in order to move house. I have decided to start this diary to try and make this a more possible prospect.

I feel a bit cheeky using this forum, as I am not actually in debt (other than the mortgage), but have been inspired by other stories, and am trying to make my money go further, even if not to pay off what I have already spent. Hopefully I will get lots of support, and great ideas though.

I will write more on my personal circumstances, and my financial situation , but didn't want to write a war and peace sized tome as my first post!

emmigrant-immigrant

As promised, here is some back ground to my personal circumstancesgoing back over the past 10 years or so (as that is really when things startedto get a bit more difficult). 10 years ago I was a high achiever in a good job,I had a boyfriend, who was also in a good job. I rented a nice house, and heowned a house in a nice area, but which needed lots of work done on it. When mycontract at work finiswhed (I was on a fixed term contract, so nothing sinisteror anything) I decided I wanted to work abroad. It is something I always wantedto do, so then was the right time to take the plunge. I got another good job ona 1 year contract in the USA (complete with work visas and everything else Ineeded), got rid of the house and most of my posessions and off I went. Therest of my stuff went into my boyfriends garage. During the time of perparingto move away boyfriend became fiance and everything was good.

Whilst in the US, things started to go a bit wrong. My boss was a bit of astrange man (to put it mildly), and after 8 months fired me on very shakygrounds. I was home sick, so packed my stuff, arranged to give the flat back(losing 3 months rent) and dealt with all the other bits and pieces I needed todo to leave the country. My boss also called my immigration officer and toldher to cancel my visa, so I felt like I had no option to stay, even if I hadwanted to. As it happens, 3 days before I was due to leave my immigrationofficer phoned my mobile just to see what had happened. I told her the storyand she said that my boss was in the wrong and I was entitled to at least a 3month notice period, or to stay till the end of my contract, and if I stayed inthe country they would still have to pay me. However I had already cancelledall my utilities and flat, and booked my flight back home.

I came home and was glad to see the back of the states. Until I started tolook for another job! As my previous boss was refusing to write a reference Ifound it very difficult to get another job. I moved in with my fiance, but aswe were living together I wasn't entitled to any benefits, so we set up a jointaccount, which he put in £500 per month and I bought the groceries with it. Idid eventually find a job, part time doing maternity cover on minimum wage, buthey, a jobs a job!

I am now working my way back up, but am no-where near where I was 10 yearsago. On the plus side though I have just got a promotion, which helps a lot. Iam now married to boyfriend/ fiance, and now husband, and 2we have a 2 year oldson. However we are still living in his house, which still needs loads of workdoing on it!

emmigrant-immigrant

OK, now for some financial background. As I said I had agood job before (and whilst in) the states, and saved, but also spent. I had mylittle house, which I kept, but I didn’t need to worry about anythingfinancially. OH was somewhat worse. He had a £2000 OD that had never gotcleared, and was putting things on the credit card. I didn’t know any of thisat the time. I did know that his house needed major work, but didn't think that would be a problem

When I went abroad I didn’t get paid any relocationallowance, then when I left, because I came back quite pronto, my savings tooka bit of a hit.

Fast forward a few years. We were kind of keeping afloat, Ihave always been financially better than OH, and whilst unemployed (or workingpart time) I did loads of surveys and always shopped around for good deals. Imade menus and shopping lists, and did my best to keep the house looking asnice as I could (it hadn’t been decorated since about 1975). We got married, withthe wedding put on a 0% credit card, and we had an extension built. Now I amworking full time again, still need the house re-decorating and am trying mybest to keep the weather outside! :eek::eek::eek:

The problem is these debts that have been languishing forYEARS! The LBM came one Saturday morning when I was trying to stop DS climbinginto the washing machine, and lambasting OH for not stopping him from saidlaundry adventure. OH’s response was “I think we need to get a loan”. The bankhad written to him to say that they were going to start charging him a dailyfee for using his OD, and as his wages didn’t even make his bank balance gopositive on pay day he didn’t stand a chance of paying it, so was going toconsolidate with a loan (which would have taken forever to pay off). We satdown that evening once DS was in bed, and totted up our debts. £6000 later wewere completely exhausted, but I decided that if we paid off all the debt andreset our finances we could have a new start. So that is what we did. Mysavings that had built up were raided, and I just about managed to cover allthe extra debt (not mortgage).
Now we are back in the black, but have no bufferzone, a house that is falling to pieces at the seams, and no money foremergencies. Luckily we have recently had a new roof, and a new bay window, asyou could see daylight through both (the wall around the bay window I amtalking about, obviously you could see daylight through the actualwindow). I desperately want to get therest of the house waterproof again (the only thing that is REALLY bad is theporch, but it needs repointing while there is still some mortar holding ittogether too, before we think about anything cosmetic).

The finances are managed a bit haphazardly. We have a jointaccount, which we each put some into to make up £700 per month, which pays forgas, diesel and groceries. These are paid for on a points credit card, whichgets (or should get more accurately) paid off every month. The mortgage andother utilities comes from OH’s account, as that was all set up prior to mebeing on the scene, and I earn significantly less than him. Childcare is thecrippler, that we sort out between us in a non-structured, haphazard kind ofway. Other than that we run a 14 year old car, shop around for big spends,insurance etc. Holidays are normally camping, but we do go abroad, as we havefamily overseas, so we have to visit them occasionally! I still try to be goodand make a menu, shopping list, eat all the food before we go shopping again,batch cook and make lunches etc. I know what to do, it is just not so easy todo it.

I am hoping this diary will keep me focussed and help me toremember to do these things, which I know will add up, and allow me to save up,and get some jobs done around the house.

Thanks for reading, and any other suggestions will be gratefullyreceived!

emmigrant-immigrant

Well, what lovely weather we are having!

On friday DS's nursery was closed due to a staff training day, so I took the day off, and we set out to have some nice mummy-child time together for the first time since going full time (only 2 weeks ago, but it feels like forever!) It was slightly spendy, and very busy, but I had kind of planned it, so not too bad. DS desperately needed a hair cut (I could put it in a ponytail :eek:), and being my usual disorganised self, had not already made an appointment. Luckily they managed to get him in at 11.30. I also had to go do some bits of shopping, as it was BILs birthday a few days ago, and we were going to see them at the weekend, so I needed birthday presents, and I keep an eye on a friends elderly mother when he is away, so I had planned to go visit her too. Sue to the time of the hairdressers appointment I decided to go straight to the shopping centre from there, so I treated us to dinner out. It wasn't too expensive, and we both had a lovely time. I got BIL a book and some running socks, then I thought "what with this nice warm weather and me having gained 1 1/2 stones :eek:since being back at work, I don't fit into any sunner clothes any more. I ended up buying a dress, but it was only £5, so not hugely expensive. It's these little things that add up though isn't it. Then I bought myself some sandals. They were half price, and I bought the cheapest walking sandals they had, but it was still £25 on me that I had not initially planned on spending. I also bought some potty training pants for DS and some cakes to share with my friends mum. I had also bribed DS with a ride in the shopping centres cars (they have little cars that toddlers can sit in and be pushed around), I was expecting it to be similar to supermarket trolleys where you put a pound in and get it back at the end. No such luck, £3.00 an hour, for basically nothing! He didn't even sit still! All in all I spent about £70, which is more than I had hoped, but most of what I bought was reduced, and none of it was frivolous, so I guess not too bad. My friends mum was very impressed with the cake, and gave us 2 packs of luxury biscuits, which we will be taking to work for lunches, so that was nice of her. It's jhust a shame DS thinks they are his personal property "...s mummy gave them to ME", yes only because I had changing bag, bag of shopping and needed to hold yourt hand and open the car. Anyway, it was a lovely day.

On Saturday baby sis (not really a baby, but that's how I think of her) came to visit with BIL. That was another lovely day. We went for a walk down the canal to a pub for lunch (BS very kindly paid), then back along the river. Then they kept an eye on DS whilst OH and I turned his cot into a big boy bed. So all in it was a NSD!! Am very proud.

Sunday we spent all day gardening. Had to nip out to buy some bits and pieces of groceries. Just went to the Co-op, but as we wanted dishwasher tablets (which they always have some reduced to half price) and bread flour, which is cheaper than any we can get elsewhere, so not bad, and we get at least 2 pizza bases and 2 loaves for a bag of flour. It works out much cheaper than buying bread. So generally fairly happy with that.

However, what did make me VERY happy, was whilst trying to tame the weed bed I found 2 strawberries!!!:j:j:j
I don't think I have ever been so happy about 2 strawberries. They are going to be harvested tonight, as they were just off being fully red, and I want to get them before the slugs do. I checked this morning and they are still there, and as it hasn't rained today (still time yet), I am quietly confident.

Today I have been very good, and brought my pack up in to work. Had a cheese and olive salad with 2 of the biscuits from my friends mum. Do need to nip out in a bit though to get some tinned tomatoes for dinner tonight. I know how much they are at Mr Ms though, so going to try Home Bargains and B&M, see if I can get them any cheaper. OH is away later this week though, so I am lone parenting, so it might be a bit more tricky to get everything sorted in the mornings. We will see. I also lack motivation if it is just me that needs feeding.
I am going to try!
I am going to try!
I am going to try!
I also need to have a look at the bank balances and how much I have put on the credit cards this month tonight, and was planning on going for a run, as I won't be able to get any time to myself for a few days.

emmigrant-immigrant

Sorted the lunch problem. I made a big tub of tuna pasta salad last night, which will last me till at least tomorrow.

emmigrant-immigrant

Just nipped out to the range and bought a trolley barbecue, a picnic bag and a garden bucket planter thing. It is our W/A on friday, so is presents for that. Can't wait to have a barbecue with a proper barbecue again! A bit expensive, but these things only come round once a year, and both the barbecue and the bag are things we had been thinking about for a while, so they will be used.

emmigrant-immigrant

So OH is away with work for yesterday and today, so DS decided he was not going to go to sleep. We spoke to daddy on the phone, who even sang him a little lullaby, but no, he was not going to sleep. It's not like it is the first time his dad has been away, it happens at least twice a year since birth, and normally he is really good about it. Not this time though.

Anyway I eventually got him to sleep at about 10.30 :eek:

I thought, well maybe he will sleep through. No such luck, 4am he was up demanding cuddles and milk, then to fall back to sleep. He then wakes up at 6.30 full of energy, and looking fresh as a daisy! Needless to say I don't!

Somehow I managed to get most of the jobs done this morning (including something resembling a rather sparse sausage casserole in the slow cooker ready for tea, I had run out of most of the ingredients, ended up using the remainder of a half eaten apple that DS had kindly discarded and I had wrapped in cling film and put in the fridge, 2 carrots and a whole head of summer greens. Should be fine :rotfl:). I had to put a little bit of makeup on and straighten my hair though to get me looking vaguely human. The only thing I didn't manage to do is put the washing out. Never mind, there's always later.

Have remembered my lunch, so just need to buy some wrapping paper (although am thinking of wrapping OH's presents up in newspaper) and an anniversary card today. I also need to try to resist the urge to buy supplementary food, but on this amount of sleep I can see a potential need for an emergency bar of chocolate :rotfl:

emmigrant-immigrant

Oops, felt the need to get a sausage sandwich this morning, my will power is pretty non-existent when I'm tired. Our canteen at work has only just started doing them. I don't think I'll bother again. The sausages were microwaved and the bread was not the nicest. Definitely not worth £1.30 :eek:

Then went for a walk for an anniversary card and wrapping paper, and came back with those items, plus a big bar of chocolate, then I realised I was supposed to be buying some strawberries off a colleague, so that was another £1.00 that I had completely forgotten about.

All together I have spent nearly £10.00 today. Not good, as most of it was completely unnecessary. Tomorrow may be better, but I am going out on a networking type walk after work, and we will be finishing at a pub and having dinner. Not sure what I will do for lunch, but suspect I will end up buying that too.

emmigrant-immigrant

Not done too well yesterday, or this week generally. Ended up buying dinner and tea out. Next week we are into a new month, so my new moneth resolutions:

Take a limitted amount out of the bank per week, and [EMAIL="DON@T"]DON'T[/EMAIL] go back to the bank for seconds!

Sell at least one thing

Start sorting out to get some more "joint" stuff (electricity, council tax, mortgage etc) into the joint account

Shop around for car insurance

Get at least one job around the house done.

That should keep me going for a few weeks. It is going to be an expensive month, as we are going to London (requiring accomodation), Newcastle and the Midlands :eek: We'll never be out of the car!

emmigrant-immigrant

Checked my bank statements for June:

My account is £217 up :j:j:j
The joint account is £220 up :j:j:j
That means £437 to go to the home repair fund. I can nearly afford the porch rebuilding!!! If only the builders would get back to me regarding quoting for it :mad:

The only problem is July is going to be mega expensive (and August) as we have lots of family to visit, car tax and insurance and some running repairs to do, so this month I am giving myself £20.00 per week, and not drawing anything else out till the end of the week.

Also try shopping around a bit for insurance and selling things.

Here goes!

emmigrant-immigrant

First day of new month, and all full of good intentions still!

Been drinking hot chocolate at work to try to resist the urge for a chocolate bar. So far been a NSD, but need rice and wine for dinner, so will have to buy those later.

Feeling a serious need for a spreadsheet, and will do a SoA soon (once I have at least one item moved over to the joint account).