Fed Up With Picky Kids

Bella73

I would go with the others and say eat or go hungry but make sure you don't let them then have a yogurt or something "so they eat something". If you must give them "something" later on just give them a raw carrot or something so it's not exciting and worth the wait.

A relation of mine moans their child won't eat their main but always has room for cake, simple I told them to stop with the cake if no dinner was eaten and miracle of miracles it worked in quite a short time as most children really are very quick learners!

notanewuser

Some truly hideous advice on this thread. I despair.

notanewuser

Such a contrast from this thread. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4996249

Some of you need to have a bit less "power-trip" and spend a bit more time understanding why your small children do what they do.

Perhaps you should let someone else decide what and how much you eat at each mealtime (you're probably serving up at least twice as much as they can eat) and prevent you from leaving until it's eaten for several years, see how you like it. They're children, not machines.

monnagran

In my long life I have discovered that the more children are 'encouraged' to eat anything and everything the more picky they are as adults.
I was the finnickiest, pickiest child imaginable and this was during the war when food was hard to come by. My wise mother indulged me and my brother (who didn't like the same things as me) and our mealtimes were relaxed and pleasant. Consequently by the time we were older and more sensible we ate just about anything. I did the same with my two boys. One would eat anything but only in minute quantities and the other seemed to get by on eggs and toast with the occasional piece of fish. They also grew up to be healthy 'eat anything' adults. As far as I can see the grandchildren are the same and I have hopes that the greatgrandchildren will continue the tradition.
My ex, who was brought up far more strictly, had a list of things as long as your arm of things that he was made to eat as a child and would never touch again.

I think that a relaxed attitude is all. The minute food starts to become an issue the battle lines are drawn up and some people never get over it.

Just saying...........

I guess it doesn't work for everyone and I certainly never offered alternatives except for a piece of fruit.

Going off to take shelter from the brickbats that will surely be heading my way.

x

[Deleted User]

I was brought up with my no-nonsence Mum during and after the war when food was in short supply anyway and rationing meant you really did eat what was put in front of you regardless of whether you liked it or not.As children in those days its wasn't even a choice of it goes in you or the dog ,you were expected to eat what was on your plate.I can still here now my tiny feisty Scots Mum saying
" Good men died to put food on your plate, eat it and remember them"I had visions of them returning to haunt me so I ate everything :):)
My children after being weaned were given smaller portions of what my husband and I ate mushed up in the Moulie-grater until they were old enough to eat the same as us.They both at around 2-4 tried the 'I don't like it' to which I said 'OK go without', and they did.(but not for long as small tummy soon start to rumble)
Children will 'try it on' if they think they can get away with it often not because they genuinely dislike something but just to see how much they can exert their will.So be firm and don't force feed them ,but what they have been offered they must eat or go without.

Last weekend I was away at a spa weekend with my youngest DD and when drying off after a swim on the Sunday morning in a cubicle I could hear a couple of yummy Mummy's drying their little ones off in the changing rooms.
Mum 'Please sweetheart will you let Mummy wash your hair ? '

Child 'I DON'T WANT MY HAIR WASHED' shouted at full volume

Mum 'Please darling its all matted from your swim and Mummy want you to look nice, like a little princess ?'

Child repeated 'I DON'T WANT MY HAIR WASHED' at an even louder yell
Mum again pleaded with said child several more times and the little one totally refused all entreaties, her yells getting louder every time.
Mum then said
'OK sweetheart you've made Mummy sad but if you don't want to do it then ok'
This child was around 2-3 and ruled her Mum totally.Mum just gave in and let this noisy little animal rule her life, God know how she would get on feeding it.

I told my DD when I came out and she is the Mum of five children and she just looked at me very old-fashionedly and said 'It would never have happened to me with the children, or when I was little would it Mum' and I said' No dear' as we had a rule in our house the children were children and I and my OH were the adults and what we said went.

My two grew up eating anything I put in front of them.The only thing my eldest doesn't eat is strawberries as she has an allergy to them and the youngest prefers shellfish or battered but not keen on fish pie ,although would eat it if she had to.Her family being a large one have their meals at the table and she always puts three veg in seperate dishes and they have to eat at least 1 or 2 of them.One of the boys only likes carrots at the moment, but will eat a sprig of brocolli, but like his brothers before him will eventually eat all of them.
Her eldest boy will eat a bit of everything dished up,yet when he was 3 he would try to only each the yorkshire puds and nothing else.When finding that there was no pudding or a choice of anything else to eat he soon learned to eat what was served up.It really is persistance .Children are tiny animals, and as such have to be trained at times You toilet train them, so eating is just another training skill.as another poster suggested try making your own 'frozen stuff' to look like ready meals
Stick to your guns though and don't give in to a small child.YOU are the grown up

YORKSHIRELASS

I sometimes get complimented on the fact that my teenagers will eat pretty much anything if they go to friends houses. My OH was allowed to be very picky as a child and feels strongly that his parents should have taken a stand as it made it harder for him when he was older.

We have always eaten together as a family (if OH was late home from work I ate with the kids and saved his).

Everyone always has the same meal. The kids were gently encouraged to eat what we were having. Reasonably dislikes were taking into account but fussiness was not tolerated. Basically they ate it or went without.

Toddlers like a drama and mealtimes can easily be turned into one. I never shouted or made a fuss (even if I was silently gritting my teeth). If they didnt eat it then it was simply taken away on the understanding there was nothing else.

Yes it may be controversial but you are the adult and there have to be rules! Its not easy but stick to your guns and do it now while they are little. Good luck.

Farway

I am same generation as JackieO, similar upbringing, there was no choice. Eat it or go hungry

At the time [1940s] I was told people, really were starving to death in India, so just be thankful you have, rationed, food an your plate

Just dish it up, take it, leave it or go hungry

mummyroysof3

I refuse to turn my house into a battle ground so must admit mine do mostly get to choose what they have. My youngest with disabilities is fussy so I would rather let him eat what he wants and be happy. The older 2 are getting better at trying things though.

sooty&sweep

To a certain extent it depends what you are expecting them to eat.
Personally I think children have relatively simple tastes when they're young so always expecting them to like / eat what you want to eat can cause problems. They need some time to learn to like new flavours and textures and so they prefer to eat what they are familiar with. If they then see that you're getting stressed because they don't eat they very quickly realise that theyve got some power. Children don't need huge amounts of food & certainly mine ate better at lunchtime as they were tired at teatime so less receptive to new things.
Mine went to nursery during the week so I didn't need to cook them a tea 7 nights a week but often on a saturday I would give them an early tea of something they liked so they weren't hungry but then encouraged them to try some of what we were having. It meant we could have an adult meal of what we fancied but it also allowed them to try without too much pressure.
It worked for me they're now 13 & 8 and eat what we eat and they are fairly easy to feed. Although they still don't like mushrooms !
Jen

PlymouthMaid

My youngest appeared to live on plain carbs, cheese and apples for years but now at 22 eats most things except meat (usually). I wouldn't worry too much but just let them pick from what you are cooking anyway (unless it's a vindaloo etc) and they will gradually expand their selection.