two frugal years to freedom: a fritterer's tale

lobbyludd

so - I did a diary before and got lots of great support and then slid back massively and didn't take my own advice.

If I'd have stuck to it, I'd be debt-free now, but too ashamed to pick that diary back up I'm starting afresh.

I am a single mum of 2 amazing kids: one 6 one 11. I work full time and am desperate to cut that down to 4 days a week. The children's father is an alcoholic and I have currently well controlled but chronic anxiety and depression (poor kids )

The divorce (2.5 years ago) left me with a large debt burden which I just haven't shifted. I earn a decent wage but servicing the debt, together with childcare takes the majority, however there IS enough left over for me to pay it down to zero and live comfortably (not luxuriously).

However from last time I hope I have learned lessons.

lesson 1: I am not realistic: I attack things with great gusto, start off with great enthusiasm, but am too strict and when it is clearly unsustainable I throw in the towel equally quickly. I need to be a bit more slow and steady, HOWEVER, not too slow and steady because that leads to me chucking the towel in too, so I'm hoping to start with gusto, with mini-challenges along the way that will hopefully lead to good fiscal habits.

Lesson 2: I fritter money. I am not taking my purse about with me from now on. I know I need to stay away from ebay. I need to delink my cards from online accounts for all manner of things as it is so easy to press that button and then I need to freeze my cards in ice. I've tried having such a tight budget that there is no room for frittering but that doesn't work I can't stick to it. So I think I need a very limited amount of discretionary money to try and work within - and hopefully I'll then be able to prioritise my "frittering".

lesson 3: life will throw curve balls: this will put my plans to repay behind, but it is not a reason to give up entirely. I need to expect that it will happen and be GLAD i am in a better position to deal with than I otherwise would have been before.

lesson 4: patience, and a certain amount of faith in my ability to cope with whatever lands, when it lands. I can't get everything sorted today, sometimes I have to wait for the things I want/need and I don't have to spend money now just in case of something happening in the future.

so anyhoo: have cancelled a number of things, switched virgin for EE and we have no TV package. not even freeview. We're not missing it yet (only a week ) whereas I was going to spend money on a freeview box before the TV switched off, I'm going to save up amazon vouchers from surveys etc and decide whether it is the best use of that money. I've cancelled the TV licence (it's paid up until September I may ask for a refund) so may postpone making a decision for a while.

going to re-do my budget (excel sheet with every incoming and expenditure until December itemised and all debts itemised) to give me a £10 a week disposable income and a £10 a month savings for emergency fund - not a lot but a start.

then I'll think of a small challenge for this week, might be walking to work instead of driving for 2 days, or 2 NSD's or something very small and achievable rather than full-on austerity right away.

parsniphead

lesson 1: I am not realistic: I attack things with great gusto, start off with great enthusiasm, but am too strict and when it is clearly unsustainable I throw in the towel equally quickly. I need to be a bit more slow and steady, HOWEVER, not too slow and steady because that leads to me chucking the towel in too, so I'm hoping to start with gusto, with mini-challenges along the way that will hopefully lead to good fiscal habits.

Lesson 2: I fritter money. I am not taking my purse about with me from now on. I know I need to stay away from ebay. I need to delink my cards from online accounts for all manner of things as it is so easy to press that button and then I need to freeze my cards in ice. I've tried having such a tight budget that there is no room for frittering but that doesn't work I can't stick to it. So I think I need a very limited amount of discretionary money to try and work within - and hopefully I'll then be able to prioritise my "frittering".

l[[/B]esson 3: life will throw curve balls: this will put my plans to repay behind, but it is not a reason to give up entirely. I need to expect that it will happen and be GLAD i am in a better position to deal with than I otherwise would have been before.

lesson 4: patience, and a certain amount of faith in my ability to cope with whatever lands, when it lands. I can't get everything sorted today, sometimes I have to wait for the things I want/need and I don't have to spend money now just in case of something happening in the future.

I can relate to all you have written above which is why I'm still in debt.

Good luck with the plans. I hope they work well for you.

lobbyludd

thanks parsniphead

If you've any top ideas for overcoming these habits I'd be very grateful to hear them.

I have updated my budget to allow for spends, we'll see if i can stick to this. I keep thinking of things I've not accounted for though - routine cat de-flea and worming (plus routine child de-lice and worming - bleugh) which costs a pretty penny.

my habit of the week is going to be......

taking lunch to work - I'm aiming for 4 out of 5 days. I'm also going to take a couple of tins of soup in for when I inevitably forget my lunch bag.

Tomorrow's financial tasks are a) ask council tax to spread remainder of year'e payments over whole year and b) cancel window cleaner when he comes for his cash c) add my debts to this thread.

VeronicaMars

I too can relate to your issues!

I decided I would NOT take the super fast route and just take the realistic/still have a life scenic route!

Once is stopped frittering and spending money on coffees and lunches I REALLY noticed a difference! Even if you only buy half the lunch (i.e I now make a sandwich and then buy the soup instead of both).

Now we are better off, Mr Mars and I give ourselves pocket money each month. Guilt free pocket money to be spent on what we want. Okay, we could saved more and cleared the debt quicker if we did not do this. But we want to be realistic and still have a life! I find this has REALLY helped.

Goodluck! xoxo

pickle_me

It sounds as though you have a good understanding of the potential pitfalls and temptations ahead, and a realistic plan for tackling them. That's a good start! Good luck with your journey, I'm subscribing

jwil

Good luck

lobbyludd

thank you lovely people.

well lunch was taken in today (jacket potato with cheese, bacon and leeks, very tasty, we have a microwave here so I'm lucky although tomorrow I must remember to pack a snack as well - a wee bit peckish right now, still I've got no purse on me and i'm very far from being in danger of wasting away), I phoned CTax and have spread payments over the rest of the financial year instead of until jan, and I've filled in an application for help-with-summer childcare fund that my employer has access to, fingers crossed.

this evening will have a wander around the diaries for inspiration!

lobbyludd

B*gger - had notification from paypal that the pizzas I "bought" when my dad came down a week ago is in fact unpaid for.

that would be most of my discretionary money for next month gone. will have to rejig budget as I am not going to start off in debt to myself IYSWIM? and I really want to take the kids to the how to train your dragon movie in July as the book series is a family favourite now.


so: debts:

overdraft: £950
barclaycard: £2440.55 now 2340.60
halifax cc: £6235.89 now 5625.22
tesco cc: £7354.68 now 7233.80
[STRIKE]Hx loan: £709.40 now 0[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]paypal - sigh- £27.96 now 0[/STRIKE]

total: 17717.52 _pale_ off to cook tea - left-overs methinks.
(17118.23 - July)
(16729.12 - August)
(16150 - September)

emslovesmickey

I've had trouble with being too strict with myself, it usually ends up with me then blowing my budget, being angry at myself for doing so and then starting the whole cycle again. I'm contemplating giving myself weekly pocket money - i was always good with money as a kid precisely because i had only a certain amount of money available to me a week so if something was more expensive i would have to save up for it

jwil

Annoying about the pizza.

We are fans of the how to train your dragon series too

lobbyludd

jwil - we have them all on audibook too with david tennent doing a fabulous performance - many a long car ride spent roaring with laughter (which reminds me - cancel audible....), but got my ds back into reading fiction, we're all ambivalent about the final book coming out - very much looking forward to it, but that will be the end of the series

lunch brought in today (hurrah),
took a one month payment holiday on my loan last night (I've 2 payments left) in order to give me some breathing space on my first month of debt busting whilst I'm paying part months of the things I've cancelled etc and in case I've forgotten about anything else.

Halifx have written to me saying thery are changing my interest to link it to base rate (which is currently 0.5% so NOT going to go down) - it appears that the paultry 29.4% I pay them is barely covering their costs, <profiteers> so I will write to them asking them to close the account and I'll pay it off at the current rate.

I was going to pay that off first, but I'll clear the overdraft first so that I have some recourse to an emergency float, and so I dont feel so trapped with my bank account.

in garden news: the peas are shooting up the apple tree (we have a maximum of 6 apples this year - double last year's hoard), the elderflower, cherry and apricot saplings are doing well (although no fruit - first year for all of them), but the damson is very definitely dead (incurable fungal wilt ).

we'll have no goosegogs this year, but the blackberries are fairly promising, the strawberries, raspberries, tomatoes, peppers and potatoes are as yet an unknown quantity.

The watercress I grew from a salad leaf is rioting away in the kitchen as are the herbs, the leeks I grew from the left-over cut off bits are huge, with pretty flowers (I probably shouldn't have let them flower!) and even the ginger root is slowly growing in my bathroom - none of this will make me rich, but it makes me smile. as does all the crafty stuff.

big yellow ball in the sky again today - very intruiging.