Football 'trespass' clarification

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Alias_Omega wrote: »

How old are the children, and how is it coming over?

We let our children play in the garden, as its unsafe to play on the roads or the local park without supervision. Unfortunately a football is kicked, and sometimes it goes stray.

Eventually the children will get older, and playing football in the garden will pass and it will be skateboards, bikes and "girls".

Whilst the children may leave, my neighbours may be here for the next 10, 20 or even 30 years.

I would maybe allow the children access through a side gate to obtain the ball back, and if you speak to them...you may change from the "nagging person next door"...

So everyone should allow all the neighbours' kids unlimited access to their gardens because the parents are convinced the local parks are full of raging nonces?

The occasional stray ball is part & parcel of living in a family area. 5 times in an hour is taking the pi55- what if you were asleep due to working night shifts, or revising for exams?

I would offer to return the ball once a day, perhaps twice at weekends if you're feeling generous. Then just turn the music/TV up and ignore the door.

Alias_Omega

I guess its all about maintaining the peace (Not piece).

My auntie has had a neighbour dispute for years, its affected her so much now that they throw insults over the fence at each other when both parties are in the garden.

The example was used that if you get on with your neighbour, then why not let them access to your garden to collect the ball now and then.

If you dont like something, and they dont like you, then they will carry on doing it because they know it bothers you.

If it is genuinely coming over the fence because there is a goal on the other side of the fence, then you can understand why it happens.

I guess it could be worse, you could live in an end terrace and have a goal painted on your house wall. Children these days cant read "No Ball Games" signs anymore.

m0bov

Just tell them there is no ball there and send her away. They will soon get fed up, no ball means no ball games. If they see the ball there, tell them they can have it back the following week.

aileth

Alias_Omega wrote: »

I guess its all about maintaining the peace (Not piece).

My auntie has had a neighbour dispute for years, its affected her so much now that they throw insults over the fence at each other when both parties are in the garden.

The example was used that if you get on with your neighbour, then why not let them access to your garden to collect the ball now and then.

If you dont like something, and they dont like you, then they will carry on doing it because they know it bothers you.

If it is genuinely coming over the fence because there is a goal on the other side of the fence, then you can understand why it happens.

I guess it could be worse, you could live in an end terrace and have a goal painted on your house wall. Children these days cant read "No Ball Games" signs anymore.

We live in an end terrace and might as well have a goal painted on it.

Unfortunately there is no getting on with this woman. She's not our next door neighbour, but lives behind a few houses. Our first contact with her was her swearing at us over the fence asking us for her f***king ball back RIGHT NOW.

m0bov

Well if its that bad, then hand it back to her with a hole in it.

WestonDave

Most doorbells work via a two strand wire. Stick a simple switch in one of the wires (Maplins will have something) and when the football starts on the wall (i.e. you know its about to come over) simply switch the doorbell off.


Her reaction to that will be one of two things - either she won't be able to tell the door bell isn't working so will carry on ringing it which will leave her standing outside and you with peace. Or she will start banging on the door at which point a phone call to the local police (via the non emergency number) with a complaint that she is attacking your front door (phone can be held out so the operator can hear the abuse and banging) may result in a more permanent resolution to her harassment!

pimento

If this is the woman who lives next door to your parents, I would suggest taking the battery out of the doorbell.
Anyone who is a genuine visitor can call you from their mobiles.

aileth

Okay, what we've decided so far. We need to make a war room for this sort of stuff

We are going to give the ball back one more time with a firm warning that we will withhold any more trespassing balls for an hour.

Our fence is high enough to put burglar paint on the top, and the only reason you'd be touching it anyway is if you were being naughty, there is no chance anyone will come in contact with it unless they are attempting to trespass.

Going to rig a doorbell switch as suggested, and fingers crossed it will send her into a rage and she will go to the fence to climb it to trespass and get some nice black hands instead.

m0bov

I would'nt be playing silly games like 1 hour delays. your not a school!
Let her have the ball back one more time, after that they go in the bin with a puncture.

Tell her to f**k off next time she comes round again! TBH if someone spoke to me like that I would'nt have anything to do with them, certainly not doing them favours.

System

If this was me, and things had got this bad, I would begin to wind her up. Some ideas of the top of my head:

Come to the door in fancy dress (e.g. Frankenstein, a pirate)

Speak only in a foreign language when she comes for a ball

Tell her you will get it straight away, close door, turn off doorbell, make a cuppa and read a book. Then when she has gone, turn up at her door with the ball and say 'oh how rude, I went to get the ball and you walked away' and then walk off

Pretend she is invisible. Then call your family and you all pretend there are noises but you can't see anyone.

Open the door with fake blood pouring out of your ears and then vomit fake blood.

Get some footballs of your own (weird looking ones) and start bringing these to the door saying this is the only one you can find in the garden.

Buy a fake meerkat toy and bring that with the ball and say 'your son just killed my meerkat' and tell her to dispose of the body.

Every once in a while actually get her the ball. It gives her hope.