Lightbulb moment - SoA and spending addiction

smiler34

Hi, to anyone who is reading this thread, thankyou for taking the time to help me.

So, I'm probably not in as much debt as the majority of people on this site. The only debt I have is £900 overdraft and £154 on my credit card (racked up last month on overspending on stuff I didn't really need)

ok SoA

Monthly outgoings

• Tv licence £12
• Littlewoods (min interest free payment) £35
• Petrol £50
• Food shopping max £175
• Rent £450
• Gas and elec (dd) £44
• Trust fund £20
• Mobiles £29
• Council tax £105
• My money (taking kids out through week etc) £50
• Family days/eating out £60
• Clothes all family £50
• Bank charges for o/d £10

Total outgoings £1090

Monthly income

• DPs wage £886
• Child benefit £151
• Tax credits £575

Total income £1612

(The tax credits and child benefit figures are based on when I have the new baby, hopefully any day now and until then are;

• Child benefit £70.45
• Tax credits £331.10)

Total income before new baby £1287.55

So obviously there is a big difference between the outgoings and income even before the new baby and I know exactly where the rest of the money is going is on my spending. So really I wanted to write it all down and was just looking for some support to help me with my spending addiction before it gets any worse. Any advice anyone can give me would be gratefully received. This spending problem I have is causing a great deal on stress in mine and dps relationship and we have had lots of big talks everytime I've been on a splurge and we're back at square one with the o/d. We've had to borrow money off of his parents several times to stop us getting charged for going over the o/d and I feel awful because I know its my fault but just can't seem to stop myself.
I don't need any posts about how stupid I have obviously been because I already know that, I just need some support.

I am planning on paying my credit card off £50 a month at least over next three months and then that will be cancelled. DP also now has my debit card so can't spend on that and is giving me £10 a week in cash for taking babies out during week. Only problem is I still have temptation for ebay and lots of websites that already carry my debit and credit card details.

Thanks for listening.

Madnessa

Hi Smiler

I too have moments when I feel I need to spend money and afterwards I always realise it wasn't worth it. Unfortunately that doesn't stop me doing it again. :mad:

You need to try and figure out why you are overspending. When you figure this out you will be able to control yourself better. Well, that's the theory anyway.

If you do this now you will save yourself lots of problems in the future as your current debt is still very managable. Get on top of it before it spirals.

Other will be along later to give you more advice

poppyjay

hi have you tired selling on ebay also get your card details taken off there and give cards to husband or parents so you cant get to them
good luck hope everything goes well for you

smiler34

Hi, thanks for the tips. I have sold on ebay previously but the only thing I have to sell at the mo is old baby clothes which don't seem to go for a great deal on ebay so me and dp are thinking we might do a car boot sale after new baby is born. I will look into having my card taken off the sites I use regularly but I have shopped on that many different sites I probably wouldn't know where to start. Also problem is that I know my card details without looking at my card so can easily put them in again. I've mentioned to dp about possibly taking my name off the bank account, but then we have benefits going in, in my name and it also seems a bit drastic. I may have to just tell bank I've lost my old debit card and get them to issue me with a new one so then I at least won't know the numbers to type in.

machsmum

Hi smiler34
I know exactly how you feel with this one. Our debt has been accumulated by both me and my DH over the years but my contribution has defintely been frantic spending. I just cannot stop myself. However I have recently realised that I cannot go on like this forever and have to stop. I am very proud to say that I have not spent any money on unnecessary things in over a month. And the last time that I did spend money before this I felt so guilty that I ended up taking most of it back. (I only kept the undies - but believe me after two kids I could def. not carry on wearing same stuff from pre-baby days!!) Anyway, I digresss!!

So all I can say is, with me it was a matter of thinking what would mean more, lovely new clothes, shoes, treats every week, or a long-overdue family holiday in two years time and hopefully moving house??!

Good Luck - I feel for you!!!:D

david_hellier

Hi,

Before we can help, do you have to pay for car MOT, tax and insurance?

Penny2myName

smiler34 wrote: »

Only problem is I still have temptation for ebay and lots of websites that already carry my debit and credit card details.

Thanks for listening.

My 2 penith worth, sign onto ebay whilst partner is there, give him you p/word, then have him change your p'word whilst you are out of the room, and then you can only go on when he lets you. Unless his spending is as bad then he may use your account.

steve700

smiler34 wrote: »

I may have to just tell bank I've lost my old debit card and get them to issue me with a new one so then I at least won't know the numbers to type in.

Hi,

That is exactly what I was going to suggest..............

And the old card will be cancelled by the bank so it doesn't matter which credit accounts you have the old card logged with.

Good Luck

Steve

smiler34

To answer your question david we do have to pay for MOT, Tax and insurance (although dps parents and nan helped us out with this last time) They are all due in Feb, I was thinking of saving post office stamps each week for tax and the car insurance will probably be around the £500 mark. Only prob is the MOT which cost more than the car is worth last time. DP insisted we get work done though cause his grandad left it to us when he died.

david_hellier

Hi,

Thanks for the figures. According to my calcs you have £93.67 per week to spend on food and anything else. There seems to be some overspending here.

The figures are based on your existing benefit level, an od payoff of £50 a month, car insurance of £350 pa and road tax of £150 pa.

I suggest you write £93.67 in a little note book (a spending diary, ebay) and keep a note of what you spend by subtraction. If your benefits go up so will your weekly amount. As your od reduces to zero, your charges will fall.

If Littlewoods are charging interest, pay them by a fixed amount using a standing order not DD. Do not use the firm again. Remember, these figures apply to both of you so you only have £46.80 each to spend, so you'll need to work together on this.

Good luck with the new arrival, the figures:

incomeweeklymonthlyself 0.00partner 886.00cb 70.45ctc 331.10 total0.001287.55divide by 4.33 £ 297.13 £ 297.13 total weekly incomespendweeklymonthlyrent/mortgage 450.00council tax 105.00elec 22.00gas 22.00water 0.00secured loans 0.00TV licence 12.00fines 0.00littlewoods 35.00petrol 50.00trust fund 20.00mobiles 29.00od pay off 50.00car ins 29.17road tax 12.50mot 45.00 total0.00881.67divide by 4.33 £ 203.46 £ 203.46 total weekly spendStart= income - spend = £ 93.67 per week

lindens

I've got a bad spending habit as well , resulting in debt below!
I am getting better but it's a long slog and i certainly still have my moments (around payday lol). What I have found helped me was not stop myself spending anything on myself but allow myself an amount which was just for me to buy whatever i want. Some months it's only £10, but i still get the thrill of spending and it's a challenge to find something for £10 anyway! I often give my card to my OH to keep and only get it back when i tell him what its for.