Money owed from friend and no luck getting it back

TyLupo

Hello,

Well, I've gotten myself into a bit of a predicament. For personal reasons I bought my 'friend' something of high value (£400 approx) in January and he promised that he would pay it back in instalments. He said he would set up a direct debit to send me about £60 every month until the full amount is payed. The first month he said he couldn't do it because he didn't have enough money, which is fair enough. But it has pretty much been the same story for a long time,nearly half a year on and nothing has changed. Whenever I try to ask him about it very nicely he just goes off on a tantrum say that he can not deal with the stress I am causing him right now. And I know he has the money, how else could he afford a brand new iPhone two weeks a go. This is the only reason I am friends with him at this moment. Due to certain history I feel that I will never get this money back.

Does anyone have any advice other than don't lend people money?
I have all the messages confirming that he will pay me back, as well as the receipt of the item bought with his address as the delivery address.

Thanks in advance
Lupo

PS, why is my signature not being displayed, it's kinda important as I need to give credit to the avatar artist x3

-taff

Can you get the item back? If you can, do it.

If you can't and he has acknowledged that he owes you this money, tell him you'll take him to the small claims court.

The chances are though, if you do that, it's bye bye firendship and you may never see your money..but then, you may never see your money anyway.

thewhiteavenger

TyLupo wrote: »

And I know he has the money, how else could he afford a brand new iPhone two weeks a go.

Maybe he tapped someone else?

TyLupo wrote: »

This is the only reason I am friends with him at this moment.

That's not a good reason to be friends

TyLupo wrote: »

Due to certain history I feel that I will never get this money back.

I think you're right

TyLupo wrote: »

Does anyone have any advice other than don't lend people money?

I had a similar thing happen. It that case I decided I still wanted to be friends and so I told my friend that he could consider it a gift. I now have no negative feelings about it. But I won't give him money again. Yes, you could take court action. But that could be a case of throwing good money after bad.

Pixie5740

This has happened to me to me too. My "friend" got really angry when I asked for my money back, not quite £400 but still a significant sum to a recent graduate. In the end I chalked it up to experience and vowed never to be so naive again. I am no longer friends with this person and I didn't get my money back but my life is better now that this person is no longer part of it.

Monkeyballs

Hi,

Ask for whatever it is you bought back, I know it's not the same as having the money but it's better than nothing and this might encourage them to pay up or if not then you could at least sell it or maybe even return it (unlikely I know)...

As for the iPhone, could be that another "friend" has paid or might be on contract?

As for being the only reason you're still a friend with this person... It could be the same for them too, be friends with someone to get something from them... Cynical I know

You may be looking at writing this off as a learning experience though...

MB

poppasmurf_bewdley

I've always believed in the motto: "Do unto others that which they do unto you."

Your so-called friend has 'done' you. I suggest the least you do is take out a claim in the Small Claims Court at a cost of a few pounds to 'do' him with a CCJ which will cripple his credit for the next six years.

And if you're friends with him on Facebook, ask him on there for your money back so all your joint friends will see it. At the very least he will de-friend you but everybody will be warned not to lend him any money.

sourcrates

People asking to borrow money like this always sets alarm bells ringing with me, as its obvious he cant manage his money or he has no intention of paying you back, with you I fear its the latter, either way you were stuffed, put down to experience and move on !!

Powered_By_Pies

I borrowed some money from a friend once and promised to pay it back, then lost my job so what should've taken about three months to pay back took almost a year

Thankfully he was completely understanding and I did pay it all back (plus a bit more) but I felt terrible for borrowing the money then having to go back on my promise. It humiliated me.

I don't see how some people can ask to borrow money then actively go out of their way to not pay it back. Maybe I have different morals to other people but if I borrow money from a friend I endeavour to pay it back as quickly as possible.

Monkeyballs

For what it's worth, I only lend money to people if I like them enough to not be worried as to whether I ever see it again LOL

If a good mate has hit on hard times and asks me to lend him a tenner then I will because he's a good mate and it's only a tenner... If I get it back then great but if not then so what it's just a tenner and I've helped a mate out

Obviously if he asks again a couple of days later or I know he's wasted it on something frivolous then it's a whole other matter though

If a guy I occasionally have a beer with while I'm out with other friends asks me if I could lend him £250 to help with a mortgage payment then I wouldn't because he's obviously having money problems and it's too much to lose but I would suggest he speaks to his mortgage provider and not do anything stupid...

MB

FireWyrm

A common enough story. We've all done it. I hate to sound pessimistic, but I doubt you will ever see your money again even if you do launch a small claim against him. Sadly, this happens over and over, one's generosity is abused by a 'friend'. Chalk it up to experience but learn from it and never lend to a 'friend' again. Trust me...been there, dont that. In my case, I was knocked for £3000 in total.

longtermplanner

It would cost you £35 to put in a small claim using the on line system : https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money/court-fees

BUT the problem here is even if you win the case, that doesn't mean he will pay you the money. All too often people just ignore CCJs., especiially if they have no money. It would then cost you a lot more money to try to 'enforce' your judgement.

To be honest this is just not worth it.

I suggest you either write it off to experience or you tell him you realise times are hard but could he please set up a standing order to you for just £10 a month, as that way you will at least get some back. He may find it harder to say No to this very reasonable offer.