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Kate_fixing_it

Hi OP,

I really sympathise with you. No relationship breakdown is nice, however, I can't help but agree with other posters, based on the information you have provided, she's taking you for a ride.

She has already been involved with a loan shark, what happens if she borrows money from the wrong sort of people again? What if damage is done to the property to force repayment? Your equity could be rapidly reducing as we speak. The goods inside the house are depreciating in value every day and as they were acquired as joint assets during the relationship they are half yours. For example: take fridge, freezer, washing machine and dishwasher. Two items yours, two hers. You could potentially sell your two items and clear the Payday UK debt.

She isn't going to like it but it's my opinion that you need to push this split of assets ASAP. The other concern I have is what if the property is sold quickly and for a lower price? Hell hath no fury and all that, emotions will be running high for both of you and she wouldn't be the first person to sell an item for little to no profit to spite an ex.

I know you are going to be in a complete tailspin right now but the sooner you take some action the better for you. Do you have family and friends that know the situation and can give you some emotional and moral support?

Kate x

Monkeyballs

Hi OP

Some decent advice on this thread already, if I had to add anything then it would be to suggest you contact a debt charity as well.

Some times a call in which you are speaking to someone impartially about viable options is what is needed and can be a huge relief - just hearing someone tell you that you're not a bad person for having debt goes a long way

MB

aycliffeguy

Powered_By_Pies wrote: »

Sorry mate, I need to point out the now ominous elephant in the room that's currently trampling over my dinner plate....

I'm gonna say it straight and I doubt you're going to like this, so apologies in advance. From what I've read, it sounds like she's completely screwed you over. She's taken your home and your assets and claimed only half the debt she made up whilst leaving you with the rest of it.... please don't tell me that the bulk of the debts that have landed at YOUR feet are HER doing.

I obviously don't know the ins and outs of your marital relationship and I'm sorry to hear it came to an end, but when it comes to the point that you're wondering if you've got enough money to put food on your table (and the cat's bowl) every night, when she's got the house and everything in it.... I'd say that's about the time to stop playing Mr Nice Guy, put yourself and your survival at number one priority, with everyone else bar immediate family such as parents and siblings a distant second.

Feel absolutely free to tell me if I got any of that wrong.

Not quite correct, but I shall explain a little more as i've not made things very clear I don't think.

I walked out of the marital home in January, and the house is actually in her name not mine, which is the reason she is still there. She has stated she wishes to keep the house and buy my equity stake via a remortgage, so i'm not too unhappy with that scenario.

I do have some furniture assets in storage - which i'd actually forgotten about in terms of my original SOA, oops - but in all honesty nothing of substantial value.

The debt is a mixture of my own and my share of marital debt. Well I say marital debt, some of it I did not know about when I lfet so i'm due some criticism for that, but i've taken on 50% of it,

aycliffeguy

marliepanda wrote: »

It depends.

If they only have 8-10k equity, (as indicated by OP's second post) and a lot of debt together, she's not screwed him out of much, as he says hes getting the 4k when it is released.

There dont appear to be many assets to be screwed out of.

What he should do is only take responsibility for his debts (and joint debts, which is unavoidable)

I can confirm the mortgage is 70k, the value is 86-88k, however the 8k deposit was paid via her savings, and unfortunately my solicitior has stated a court would reasonably find in her favour regarding the deposit monies and that I would only be entitled to an equity share after that was taken into consideration.

aycliffeguy

Powered_By_Pies wrote: »

To be fair I was basing it on the overall household value at being more then 8-10k, not just the equity, so I may have thought there was more value than the amount was listed at.

OP, would an IVA not work? I can't remember the thresholds required to qualify....

I'm not certain, my ideal scenario would be to come to a short term agreement with creditors at least until the £560 per month employers loan and the pay day loans have gone.

aycliffeguy

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Actually she is screwing him over, in the sense she is living in the matrimonial home, while he is paying £315pm, to rent somewhere to live.

Leaving that aside, for the moment, are they each paying half of the payments, to ALL the debts, or is the OP paying toward his wife's debts, while also paying his own debts, by himself?



Agreed.

If his wife has taken out debts, which he didn't know about (and presumably hasn't benefited from) then, legally and morally, they aren't his responsibility.

Also, does he actually know the debts exist, and how much the monthly payments are, or is he merely giving he wife 50%, of what she has told him the payments are?

Yes I am paying the debts direct, I have visibility - certainly no intention of lining her pockets directly!!!

aycliffeguy

To give a bit of an update, I have spoken to some creditors this morning.

Nationwide have agreed a 90 day no contact and no payment which was fantatsic, Vanquis and Ratesetter have both agreed an initial 4 months at 50% original payments, so i've chipped approx £300 per month off my short term ourgoings, which will help with the payday loan scenario.

Also my parents have agreed to forget about the loan for at least 6 months, so feeling a little more positive about life this morning. Still a long way to go, but am feeling a bit more positive that I can get through the next 4 months which is the crucial period.

nellis10

aycliffeguy wrote: »

To give a bit of an update, I have spoken to some creditors this morning.

Nationwide have agreed a 90 day no contact and no payment which was fantatsic, Vanquis and Ratesetter have both agreed an initial 4 months at 50% original payments, so i've chipped approx £300 per month off my short term ourgoings, which will help with the payday loan scenario.

Also my parents have agreed to forget about the loan for at least 6 months, so feeling a little more positive about life this morning. Still a long way to go, but am feeling a bit more positive that I can get through the next 4 months which is the crucial period.

Well Done on contacting the creditors and getting a little light relief. Now however is the time to get the budget sorted for the next 4 months so you have a plan in place to cover the payday loans. Don't let this momentum slide.

get out the pen and paper and write down everything you need to budget for and how much you can shave off the loans.

Everyone will be here to lend a comforting ear during this period, but keep going and keep shaving off where you can.

ally18

Hi.

I know this may not go down well with you but would it be possible, just for the next 4 months, to stop the following? These are not actually hugely urgent when you have all that debt to think of. Once the urgent debt is gone, then you can bring them back in accordingly.

Gym £20
Xmas £25
Birthdays £25
Personal Spend £250

Good luck in it all

[Deleted User]

aycliffeguy wrote: »

Yes I am paying the debts direct, I have visibility - certainly no intention of lining her pockets directly!!!

So you know what each of the loans was spent on?

I ask because, I know one guy who was paying 50% of the payments, to what he thought was a household debt.

Found out a year or so down the line, the loan had actually been used, to pay for a holiday for his wife, and the bloke she'd had an affair with.