New Relationships and Bankruptcy HELP

michael1983l

I was hoping I could get some guidance from those wiser than myself. I have been separated for 2 years now and really love my ex and I have so far not been able to find an attraction or connection with anybody else.... until now.

I was out with friends last night being des and I met a lovely single lady, in fact it has given me that feeling that you don't often get, you know when you know that this person is special. She is gorgeous and I enjoyed her company greatly.

Things went great last night, we exchanged phone numbers and she asked to see me again. Now I wasn't sure if she would get back to me because I am less than average looking and this woman is drop dead gorgeous so I had my doubts.

This morning she sent me a message asking to go on dinner together, GREAT or so you would think. I can't currently afford to go out for dinner, maybe I could manage to sway it in about 3 weeks but right now I just can't afford it :mad:

Of course I could come clean and tell her that I can't afford it and that I am in the process of going bankrupt, but I'd have much rather have broken that one once we got to know each other a little better and not litterally before our first proper date.

I am scared that I will scare her away or if I try to delay for 3 weeks that she might think I am not interested. I also can't cook at home as I have very few facilities at home and I am not sure it is appropriate for somebody who have only just met.

What do I do, it is driving me crazy, if I don't take up this chance I know I will regret it because it has taken me a long time to get to this point.

Help!!!

QuietOne

I'm probably not going to give you the great advice here but I will do my best.

Method 1. Be honest with her, she will probably respect you more than she would if you hid the fact about your situation. I don't mean to disrespect any guys here, I am one too. There are not many honest people out there and I think women prefer more open men than men who hide stuff.

I understand that you don't really know this person and you don't want to give out too much personal stuff. But if you hide it and tell her at a later date, it may have a negative impact.

Method 2. Try and borrow money from a friend to cover the date, though this doesn't help your financial situation but if you can afford to pay your friend back and still be able to manage then great.

Method 3. Tell her you are a bit short and say you get paid on a certain date and arrange to go out around that time, make something up which doesn't make you look bad but hopefully she will understands. Though method 2 and 3 kinda contradicts the first one.

alastairq

Just be upfront & honest. You have almost no other choice.

Don't mention anything about bankruptcy.

Although it forms part of your future plans [to deal with the debts]....almost everyone of normal means is verging on insolvency at any given moment....bankruptcy only happens on hte day,at the hour.

michael1983l

Thanks, I just feel like if she see's me as a dead beat as such at this stage it will just be dead in the water. Thank you for your advice. I will have a think. I at least wanted to get one date out of the way first, although I am being honest with her. I did tell her last night that I had some difficulties in my past, I didn't say what though.

Stevie_Palimo

As above stated I think is your best way forward here - You could try offering to cook for her instead though.

cutemum

I think you will have to be honest without talking about br. Right now you should not feel you have to disclose this to everyone as it is a very personal and private issue. Maybe this is silly but did you think of packing a picnic and going for a lovely walk or taking her for a coffee so she knows you are interested. Maybe you need to think outside the box. If she is not interested then she is not right for you. At least you have moved on another step and it might not be long before another potential lady friend crosses your path. Good luck.

michael1983l

cutemum wrote: »

I think you will have to be honest without talking about br. Right now you should not feel you have to disclose this to everyone as it is a very personal and private issue. Maybe this is silly but did you think of packing a picnic and going for a lovely walk or taking her for a coffee so she knows you are interested. Maybe you need to think outside the box. If she is not interested then she is not right for you. At least you have moved on another step and it might not be long before another potential lady friend crosses your path. Good luck.

They are good ideas thank you.

michael1983l

I am leaning toward the picnic idea, of course that relies on it being a sunny day. Will get my mum to rustle one up for me, she goes in Marks and Spencers hehe