Only freedom will do

edinburgher

Other ambitions are left trailing behind in terms of monetary reward and public praise.

Indeed, this is why many of the brightest minds go into finance and fail to become great doctors, scientists, or artists etc.!

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

Indeed, this is why many of the brightest minds go into finance and fail to become great doctors, scientists, or artists etc.!

My wife is a wonderful painter, yet studied Engineering due to job prospects. She really enjoys her job but has very little time to draw and paint.

It's all very sad in my opinion. I cannot say I like the hold money has over all of us.

Alchemilla

chickadee if I could thank you thrice I would.

Karmacat

Check out this Guardian article on head girls http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/may/24/what-happens-to-head-girls
And yes, I was head girl my mother didn't believe me when I was allowed to tell my parents a day before the announcement, and the headmistress told me she didn't vote for me (head girls were elected by a staff vote).

Slight tangent there, sorry - the article's all about expectation and ambition, and it's quite encouraging in a lot of ways.

TimmySaver

edinburgher wrote: »

I am sure you'll catch me again by the end of June, this is proving to be a wildly expensive time. Still, hang the expense, we'll only have one first child

I like this comment! I hope it's all going great for you and Mrs E

HelenDaveKids

My girls go to the local comp, I don't think we could even remotely afford private school however I think that we have been able to add to that, by paying for various activities over the years, from dancing, gymnastics, brownies and swimming, more importantly music lessons and music Saturdays morning workshops. Plus theatre trips, days out and holidays that they see other cultures, such as Egypt for the pyramids, Kenya safari, Gambia etc. Hopefully we have achieved a good compromise.
I think another key factor is good discipline and manners which were free...

It is hard to decide the best things for our kids but despite a shaky start, I've done ok, having left school only 4 gcse of c or above, at 16 and working in a nursing home.

velocity_girl

Hi ed - been lurking your thread for a while but just thought I'd come out the shadows and say hello Huge congratulations on your new arrival!

The private school chat is interesting - I went to private school myself and wouldn't send my own kids on principle, even if I could afford it. I'm one of the only people I know who feels this way - someone said to me a while ago, almost everyone thinks what they did it themselves is best (those who went to boarding school want to send their own kids to boarding school, etc). It's nice to see someone else who went to private school who has no particular aspiration to send their own kids there!

I agree that I look back on how much money it cost my parents in total awe and don't think it was a good use of that money - my sister and I both got good grades and now have good professional jobs. But then, we were part of a family who really valued education and were also naturally bright (just to blow my own trumpet :rotfl: ) Outside of school our family encouraged us to get involved in e.g. horse riding, ice skating, musical instruments, etc. I think those factors mean that the outcomes weren't likely to have been vastly different had we gone to state school. (And to be honest, that it was more snobbery that motivated my parents' decision than anything else, but can't comment on your own!)

Karmacat

That's interesting, velocity girl, and Helen - about the boarding school thing, I should add that at one stage in my working life as a counsellor, I had a dozen people at one time working on how traumatising it had been to be at boarding school. Usually, the younger they went, the more problems they had but it was right across the board.

SuperSecretSquirrel

I went to state comprehensive and I firmly believe my academic achievements would be no better had I gone to an expensive private school. If a child wants to learn, they will learn. We had some excellent teachers at my comprehensive (and a very small handful of not so great ones, admittedly). Most importantly, I had parents that understood that learning happens mostly outside school, and accordingly invested more of their own time than money in my education. Add to that the local libraries that are available to all, and now the vast power of the internet, and to me private school starts to look a bit more like a status symbol for the parents than a tangible benefit to the children.

Often outgoings inflate to match (or exceed) incomes, and a lot of money is spent on status trinkets, we see it with things like jewellery and cars (though I'd argue cars aren't really status symbols anymore, how hard is it for a low earning low net worth individual to buy a new car on finance these days?). To me, private schooling is in the same bucket of nonsense, if your social group are doing it you'll feel pressure to do the same, but there's no guarantee that you'll be getting a superior product or service for your money.

I agree that parents will often feel the need to at least match any perceived "leg up" they were given by their own parents, so a parent that went to private school themselves will likely want their own child to have the same "benefit". Personally, that just makes me even more grateful for never having attended one.

Not all will agree with me I'm sure

edinburgher

I don't disagree with you Squirrel, I had the experience of private school, but feel no pressure to provide the same for DD

A very strange night, I took baby feeding, cuddling and fussing duties from 01:00-05:30 to let Mrs E sleep. I ended up zonked out on the couch with DD in her travel cot!

Then back to bed, when Mrs E woke me at 09:00 to offer me breakfast. Teamwork! :T