My Advice, Take Proper Advice

michael1983l

I have been in a difficult position for a while and have been putting Bankruptcy off. I never really took real advice and just listened to certain established members on here thinking that the advice would be sound. And although I am sure that those people had the best intentions at heart, I think that the advice they may have given was slightly exaggerated in relation to BR and actually scared me into not doing something that I should have done a while ago.

First of all I was led to believe that my BR would go on for upto 15 years because I had gambled at some point in the last 2 years. Which was partly true and partly exaggerated. Although I could be under a restriction for that time, the BR still lasts the same amount of time as everybody else's.

Secondly I was led to believe that any payment I had paid to my parents in reference to a loan I had with them, whilst I wasn't paying my other creditors, I was told the judge would issue a demand to my parents to pay it back to the court. Although this can happen by the letter of the law, stepchange didn't at all seem concerned that this was ever likely to happen.

So my advice would be when considering Bankruptcy, yes listen to people on here and take on lots of good advice that is available.

But always speak to the professionals before you make any decisions otherwise you could end up like me, burying your head in the sand and having a couple of years of a terrible life, when it could all be out of the way already.

National_Debtline

Hello there.

That's a great post, and one which I totally agree with. There still is a signficiant amount of stigma and misinformation when it comes to bankruptcy - but things are improving. As part of the bankruptcy process it is expected that the individual has sought advice from a professional organisation. An application can be rejected if this has not happened. I'm pleased you are more aware about the rules and implications.

The payments to your parents could be regarded as a preferential payment. The rules around payments of this nature are quite complex. As the payments were made to your parents, it would be assumed that you desired to place them in a more favourable position than your other creditors. For a preference to be proven it would also need to be the case that you were insolvent at the time of the transaction. The payment would also have had to have been made within two years of becoming bankrupt. The money would not be expected to be returned, it could cause the OR to consider asking you to have a BRO/U. I've not personally come across many instances where this has actually happened.

Best wishes,

David @natdebtline

michael1983l

Thanks David, if only somebody had told me that two years ago

Although it is what it is now and I am in the position that I am in now. I just have to make the best of what I have got. My only ever concern and stress was a loan to my parents as they couldn't afford to pay it all for me, so I only wish you were here 2 to 3 years ago to tell me what you just have.

Thank you for your help and to all the others that have helped me too.

I am finally starting to feel positive about the future again and I am not even BR yet.

National_Debtline

I hope you stick around here on MSE to share your experiences with others. Knowing the process first-hand can be really useful.

David.

egrescrimp

It's always recommended you get advice prior to going bankrupt, the judge will ask you prior to signing your bankruptcy off if you've sought advice or not. If you haven't the judge may refuse to sign the petition until you have taken advice.

With regards to your parents, have you actually spoken to them about the position you are in and if they would be willing to write off what you owe them to avoid any problems for you and them? I owed money to family prior to bankruptcy, I sat down with them and explained what position we were in. The family member was very understanding and agreed to accept they wouldn't get their money back and just wanted me to get things sorted so it doesn't impact on our children. They may get a small fraction back of what is owed from my IPA so it's not a total loss for them, although nowhere near as close to what we owed them prior to me going bankrupt.

Good job on speaking to StepChange

michael1983l

The loan is in my parents name so I have been advised by Stepchange that the court would disregard it as my responsibility even though I got the benefits of the loan money in the first place.

My parents can't afford to write off the loan, but my ex wife is covering her half of the payment and I am hoping to catch up my half after discharge. Stepchange said it was ok to make private arrangements with my parents after discharge.

alastairq

michael1983l wrote: »

The loan is in my parents name so I have been advised by Stepchange that the court would disregard it as my responsibility even though I got the benefits of the loan money in the first place.

My parents can't afford to write off the loan, but my ex wife is covering her half of the payment and I am hoping to catch up my half after discharge. Stepchange said it was ok to make private arrangements with my parents after discharge.

And that is probably the sort of advice you would have received on here too?

When posting on a public forum..[even one as considerate as this one]....there are several issues when either asking for advice, or proffering advice.

The major issue is one of understanding..or comprehension.

Sometimes a poster seeking advice...doesn't always couch their words appropriately..therefore anyone reading the post may get a distorted view of what is being asked.

Snippets of information which might prove vital in changing given advice, aren't always provided.

People who populate this particular forum have to become adept at sorting the wood from the trees.

Sometimes they get this wrong [and they aren't the only ones, either...often I read of complaints about the Debt advice organisations not being 'helpful'..or apparently failing to make someone aware of pitfalls, etc...or simply being 'useless'...when, in reality, they haven't been given accurate information to work from, or , their advice simply has been misunderstood]

Often, when reading advice, it is obvious to me the person posting knows what they mean...but somehow, what comes out isn't the whole picture.

Sometimes we post in a hurry...and things can be transposed.

I have to admit, there are times when I read someone's plea for advice, and my immediate reaction is.....why on earth haven't they bothered to read the stickies first?

But then, I have to remind myself that often when folk post on here, they are not simply seeking answers [and often, only the answers they want to hear, too?]....but they are also seeking support...sometimes all they want is for someone to 'wave that magic wand'....?

When asking questions on here , one also has to sort of the wheat from the chaff.....in other words, assemble the snippets to create the answer?

However, there is a world of difference between asking a question...and seeking advice.

This has to be remembered....

michael1983l

A very true post and if my original post has come across as being ungrateful, this wasn't the intentions. I am grateful for the help I have received and I have learned an awful lot in the past. What I am trying to say though, is always compliment these questions and answers with professional advice. Had I have done that properly in the first place, I could have had all of this sorted already.

woodformoretrees

I find this post really interesting as I seemed to remember thinking at the time that you were completely resisting what people on here were telling you and deciding that bankruptcy wasn't for you.
Interesting how people perceive things differently depending on where they view the situation from.
I hope it all goes well for you xx

michael1983l

woodformoretrees wrote: »

I find this post really interesting as I seemed to remember thinking at the time that you were completely resisting what people on here were telling you and deciding that bankruptcy wasn't for you.
Interesting how people perceive things differently depending on where they view the situation from.
I hope it all goes well for you xx

Thanks I hope so too.

My main reason I was resisting is that I was told my parents would have to pay back what I paid them already, which wasn't true and that I would be bankrupt for up to 15 years, which wasn't true either as they mean just restrictions and not bankruptcy. Which is why I thought I couldn't go for it. Shame really.

But the intentions to make me aware of the full concequences were there even if I misunderstood what was being said.

woodformoretrees

michael1983l wrote: »

Thanks I hope so too.

My main reason I was resisting is that I was told my parents would have to pay back what I paid them already, which wasn't true and that I would be bankrupt for up to 15 years, which wasn't true either as they mean just restrictions and not bankruptcy. Which is why I thought I couldn't go for it. Shame really.

But the intentions to make me aware of the full concequences were there even if I misunderstood what was being said.

I, on the other hand have received appalling advice from charities and CAB....and spot on advice from here.

All I can say that is that despite the utter hideousness of bankruptcy, and all it entails, 12 months on and I have my life back and couldn't be happier.

All will be good for you Michael1983....all will be good.


ETA, sorry, should say, my experience is NOT a reason to not take professional advice....just a reason to maybe seek further non-professional advice in addition.