pay it forward gift

ginnyknit

Its meant to be a burden and you dont always tell the person you are doing it - its for yourself and can be interpretated as you feel.

LameWolf

peachyprice wrote: »

That makes no sense, if you're helping out an aged person for example, because they find it hard to do things for themself, they then have to do something for three other people. If I were that aged person I think I'd be inclined to say no thanks to a 'gift' with such a burden attached.

As would I; I'd get very stressed until my "debt" was discharged. Being disabled and semi-housebound, the opportunity to help others is somewhat limited.

Mojisola

LameWolf wrote: »

As would I; I'd get very stressed until my "debt" was discharged. Being disabled and semi-housebound, the opportunity to help others is somewhat limited.

I would never help out another person with the condition attached that they help out another one (or three!) people.

If I can help someone, I will. If they say - what can I do in return - I'll suggest they pass on the good turn to someone else when the opportunity arises but I wouldn't ask them to make a commitment to do so.

Ilona

It's like the saying, One good turn deserves another. In fact you don't have to pass it on at all if you don't want to. It would be nice if they did but it's not compulsory.

The idea of paying it forward is to do something nice for a complete stranger, someone you will never see again, and not expect anything in return, in the hope that they might do something nice for someone else.

I make cloth shopping bags because my hobby is sewing and I need to use up lots of fabric. I take four or five with me when I go to the supermarket and give them away to anyone who hasn't brought a bag with them. I get some funny reactions, people are surprised that I don't want anything for them. I love to see the smile on their face when they say thank you. Makes me smile. :j
Ilona

Red_Cat

Ilona, you sound like a generous person, what you do with the bags is very cool!

About paying it forward, there was a novel and film of the same name. I read the book by Catherine Ryan Hyde about 10 years ago and that was the first I had heard of it.

Mojisola

Ilona wrote: »

I make cloth shopping bags because my hobby is sewing and I need to use up lots of fabric. I take four or five with me when I go to the supermarket and give them away to anyone who hasn't brought a bag with them. I get some funny reactions, people are surprised that I don't want anything for them. I love to see the smile on their face when they say thank you. Makes me smile. :j

Lovely thing to do!

There's another thread about random acts of kindness and how they make people feel good - the giver and the recipient.

ArtDecoGirly

ginnyknit wrote: »

Its meant to be a burden and you dont always tell the person you are doing it - its for yourself and can be interpretated as you feel.

I've never heard of this until now, but if the purpose is to burden somebody else, how can that be helpful??

I did a good deed today... had some makeup kicking around that for one reason or another, I never use. Good stuff... Dior, Benefit, Guerlain etc, all new or used once. So I posted a thread on another forum asking who wants what. One girl said she'd love the Benefit blusher as it's her usual and couldn't afford the £23 for a new one yet.
I sent them all off to various people today and the Benefit girl said she'd been having a really bad day until then, and it's really given her a much needed lift. It made me happy thinking I'd made somebody else smile!
(I wouldn't dream of burdening them, saying "Now you must help three other people!!")

Winter_Phoenix

LameWolf wrote: »

As would I; I'd get very stressed until my "debt" was discharged. Being disabled and semi-housebound, the opportunity to help others is somewhat limited.

I sympathise entirely with your predicament about feeling stressed until the "debt" was discharged.

But I do think there are almost always ways to pass on a kindness received.

A heartfelt, personalised "thank you", a generous compliment, some words of sympathy, the graceful acceptance of an apology, the offer of a shoulder to cry on, a kindly "just thinking of you" e-mail or telephone call, or simply listening patiently to someone who needs to talk - all these are precious gifts which will brighten someone's day and make them feel valued.

And, looking at the number of times you have been thanked for your input on this website, you have clearly found your own way of helping many, many people on here - so I don't think you need to worry about being "in debt" on the "passing on a kindness" front!

trolleyrun

I think the "pass it on to three people" comes from the book and movie "Pay It Forward". I watched the movie years ago and it's a lovely movie - albeit a tearjerker.

When I do something for another person, I don't expect anything in return. If that person wants to pass it on, then that's great, but no pressure. I do think though, as a society, we could do many more nice deeds for each other. Even just a smile or "good morning" as mentioned earlier. I've taken to complementing random people in the supermarket if they're wearing something nice. This came from a nice lady who complemented me on a skirt I was wearing last summer. She out a smile on my face, so I wanted to pass it on